Five Times Noctis Gets Kidnapped (AKA: Noctis is a little shit)
By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-
Kink Meme Prompt: Noctis, Ignis and Gladio all grew up as perfect targets for kidnapping/ransom. Obviously at some point they were each sat down by an adult and told what to do in the event that they get taken. They would have been taught basic things like, try to connect with your kidnapper so they're less likely to hurt you, and more advanced things like how to secretly give clues to your location when the kidnapper has you make a 'proof of life' phonecall.
What their instructors didn't count on was the fact that they're all little shits.
Author notes: This is just fun crack.
Four
When Noctis is four years old, a man kidnaps him from outside the Citadel in hopes that King Regis will give him a million Gil and one of the sports cars he has locked away under the Citadel.
They don't get very far because the man isn't exactly thinking with his head, instead thinking of what a perfect opportunity it is that the Crown Prince of Lucis stumbled right in front of him. Afterall, it isn't every day that things like that happen? What kind of stupid kid follows a damn cat right out of the Citadel and into the commoner's area anyway?
One that isn't smart, that's who. One that doesn't realize that puppies and kitties don't actually grow on magical trees in Insomnia.
And Noctis?
Poor Noctis is shaking and scared, his little tummy rolling and making it feel like his brain is floating in the sky. He doesn't like the feeling and keeps telling the man carrying him that he doesn't want to see the puppies and kitties. He can get puppies and kitties at home if he wants them. Gladio just got a kitty and daddy promised if he's a good boy at the next gala he can choose one from the pregnant kitchen cat when they're born.
He cries and cries, his wailing echoing in the forest and he tells the man… well… more like he warns the man. He's a good boy and he tries.
Daddy made him eat the beans for dinner and he doesn't like beans and all of the bouncing as they run is making his tummy hurt and make squishy noises. He doesn't want to keep running and he wants the man to put him down. But he hurts. He tries, he really does.
But… he hates beans.
He really hates beans.
Oops.
He apologizes because even when someone is trying to kidnap him… throwing up beans all over them isn't very nice.
The man leaves him in the park and when he's in the safe embrace of his daddy's arms he apologizes for getting sick on the man's head. And his daddy promises no more beans, at least until there is another need for getting out of something.
"Like the gala?" Noctis sniffles, and Regis knows he's already helping to create his own monster.
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