Angel of Duty
He knew it wasn't going to be easy and didn't expect easy acceptance. He may be an angel of the Lord and most recently cast out of heaven for whatever reason but he was accepted and only warily. It was a strange feeling and it was expected but it also bothered him.
Ezekiel was following through what his father created him for when he heard Dean Winchester's call. The holy fire he didn't expect but the more he observed through the eyes of Sam Winchester, he could understand why the wariness and uneasiness that followed. The uneasiness though was not so much the fact that Dean asked him to possess his brother but in fact came from the source that was standing in front of him and looking at him with an expression that looked like shock.
Ezekiel had heard of her. What angel didn't? He was like many others who were curious and would have jumped at the chance to meet the earthbound angel that their father had blessed and sent. There were others who actually had the desire to be the one to watch over her and that honor fell to first Gabriel and then Castiel. Amitiel unofficially did now and now he was in her presence and was still in awe at her; all aspects of her.
The first time he saw her was when she was lying in the bed next to Sam. The dark circles under her eyes mirrored Sam's to an astonishing degree but unlike Sam, she was the definition of beauty. It was a small thing that attracted Sam to her as he could see it in Sam's mind. It was a shock to see her lying there since she was the Malachi of Absolution and when he sensed that she wasn't trying to help Sam fight back, it hurt; a strange sensation to the angel but the more he delved into their minds and observed, the more he understood and it became clear when he looked into Sam's mind.
Ezekiel couldn't have imagined if he wanted to the simple joy it was to see such a thing. It reaffirmed his liking and understanding of his father's favored creations. He had been privy to all that they had been through. It was very overwhelming in terms of emotions with most of them not spoken but understood at a level that was… it was hard to describe.
It was different though. Ezekiel noticed how she would appear distracted if only to get some distance from Sam. It didn't hurt Sam's feelings but only raised concerns. It was odd but it allowed the angel to see more of the love the younger Winchester had for her. Agape would have been proud to have seen this and it made Ezekiel determined to not only protect Sam and heal him as promised but to protect her; by protecting her he was protecting Sam. That was why they were where they are at now.
They were working a lead with regards to the demons in an attempt to locate Abbadon. She and Sam were working together and they ended up being ambushed by a demon that was associated with another that the Malachi knew very well. It wasn't alone either and it turned into a fight that he could deem similarity to when Lucifer had been cast out.
In Ezekiel's view, she fought like the archangels would especially if she perceived that Sam was in danger. Even though she sometimes avoided being too close, it was clear that she loved him to the extreme and would do anything for that love. The angel found it breathtaking until the tables were turned and the danger increased onto the Malachi.
Sam had been restrained and was being forced to watch the agonizing blows including a slice to the abdomen that could have been fatal had the Malachi not moved when she did. It was when it was evident that the demon was going in for the kill that Ezekiel acted. He took over and let his angelic might be shown and used her weapon to attack the demons. The leader got away but what was important was that the Malachi was safe but the reaction he was having a hard time understanding. He wasn't sure if her injury was worse than suspected and asked, "Is it serious?"
The Malachi looked at him and then at her injury and replied, "I've had worse. Thank you… Ezekiel."
Ezekiel took in her expression and frowned. The reaction increased it a little and it occurred to him that she was not seeing an angel that was confused but Sam. "Something wrong?"
"Nothing."
Ezekiel was not familiar with evasive lying but he managed to recognize it and a brief flitter into Sam's thoughts told him that was what she was doing. The why he studied from her to figure it out. It was obvious but he had to be sure, "You are uncomfortable."
"I am not."
Evasive lying, according to Sam, meant one of two things: either it was bad and it was a way of expressing displeasure at something done to her or it was something else equally bad and she perceived it as something to hate about herself or it threatened general wellbeing. It sounded complicated to the angel as he sorted through the mental categories that Sam stored in reference to this woman that clearly meant the world to Sam. He wondered at the intricacy of it and how they managed to avoid serious confrontation. Ezekiel had to make a choice and picked the obvious. Looking directly at her, he said, "You don't like it that I'm here. You don't like me."
The expression was one of surprise as she said, "It's not that I don't like you. I actually do since you… do what you said you would do."
Ezekiel studied her and then amended his earlier assessment, "You don't like it that I'm in Sam."
"Thank you Captain Obvious."
Ezekiel didn't understand the reference but it was clear that Sam would have. It meant that he had hit the mark. He thought about it and it dawned on him especially when he caught the glimpse of a very intimate memory belonging to Sam. He didn't understand but he could see what she was getting at. "It is understandable that you don't want to share. It is natural when one is in a monogamous relationship."
"You are insane."
Ezekiel frowned at that. She was looking at him with a look that clearly indicated he said something wrong. "Why? It is natural. You are in a relationship with Sam. One that is marital in most respects, excluding the legal sense."
"That is why I don't like you here." She paused as she put a hand to her mouth and the tears brimmed. "That is private. There are things Sam knows that Dean doesn't and now you know them."
Ezekiel took in the tears and frowned. The last thing he wanted was to make her cry. He was flooded with anguish at the notion of her crying. Apparently that was a bad thing and one that also would extend to Dean if he saw this. "I apologize. I was trying to understand why you insist on potentially hurting Sam by your avoidance. He will not remember this or any other time."
"But I will," she replied pointing at herself. "I remember everything from when you took over. I felt like I had a door slammed in my face; I was shut out. I feel a stranger now. It is hard enough remembering things you've done that are bad…" She waved her hand and turned away. She put a hand on her hip and the other to her mouth as if trying to keep herself from speaking.
Ezekiel stared at her. He fought to find out the reason why this was bad. He filtered through Sam's thoughts and memories until he found what seemed to be right. "I am sorry. I didn't realize that I was in the presence of a rarity; a rare and beautiful thing regarding true souls. I do not mean to make you feel like you are a stranger. I only want to help and heal Sam. Nothing more and nothing less. That is the truth."
"I know, but it still hurts."
Ezekiel took stock of the expression and replied, "Please don't shut Sam out. It is still Sam. You know that I've been in his head."
"How could I not? You gave Dean some reassurance," she replied but she still had a sad expression on her face.
"And I've seen everything about you. I feel what he feels for you. I've never experienced anything like it before. It is like the grace of an angel but more." Ezekiel paused and looked at her. He had her attention. Perhaps he should also address what he suspected ever since that first time he took over to protect Sam and she jumped in. "Much like that which extends beyond your abilities as before."
The wide eyed expression of alarm told the angel that he possibly overstepped his bounds. It was followed by a scared expression and her saying, "Don't, please."
Ezekiel couldn't understand this irrational fear. "Why? It is a part of you. As far as I know you are the earthbound angel. It makes sense that you have something tied to an angel's power."
"And that is bad." She paused and it looked like she was having a hard time breathing.
"No it isn't," Ezekiel contradicted, "If it were bad, then why is it fueled by the very thing that drives you?"
"It's bad because… this is what happens," she replied and pointed to her heaving self. "Something happened in Purgatory and this is the result. There is a darkness that threatens to get out and when Sam or Dean…." She stopped to breathe.
It was clear to Ezekiel that something was wrong. "Let me help you."
"No."
"But you need help."
"No. Your job is to help Sam and… I'm counting on that. I don't like what you have to do but… I am trusting you to do what I may not be able to do in the end even though Dean asked it of me." She was heaving as she said it and she put a hand on Sam's chest.
Ezekiel didn't understand it. She was in distress until it occurred to him that she didn't want him to help. She wanted him to see why she was having a difficult time with the arrangement. He didn't understand why she was willing to risk her health. "If you are hurt, then so is Sam. That I can't allow."
"Then let Sam back in."
Ezekiel looked at her like she was not right in the mind. She repeated her request even though she was getting progressively worse. He could see that she wasn't going to let him touch her. He nodded finally, "Sam won't remember. If you want, I can make it so you won't remember."
"Thank you for the gesture but no." She explained after wheezing a few breaths, "I've had enough messing with my memories and one time I asked for it."
Ezekiel nodded and proceeded to let Sam back in and make sure he didn't remember. It was disturbing to view Sam's view and it was evident of the distress that Sam was experiencing. He observed the action Sam took and her breathing eased to normal and how she didn't flinch away. He watched as she sunk into Sam's embrace and allowed him to help her to her feet. It occurred to him why she was uncomfortable with him there.
She knew he was watching and observing while he was working on healing himself and Sam. It was not an issue of trust but one of vulnerability. She felt safe around Sam but it changed now. It was disturbing to feel that he caused that. Ezekiel took his duty as an angel seriously and that meant helping his father's creations, to make them feel reassured and safe.
"You feel better, Angie?"
"I'm good Sam."
Ezekiel observed her expression as she looked at Sam. It was then that he felt something stir within and he recognized it as her doing. It was her healing ability at work on Sam but mostly him. He was confused as he heard Sam ask, "What was that for?"
"Because I wanted to," she replied with a smile. "Sometimes one needs to feel that one is okay even if something bad had happened."
Ezekiel pondered what she had said while they went about their business. He realized that she had healed him just a little with that touch of power. It wasn't because of the nature of a healer. He had yet to understand her completely and it appeared that he was going to have plenty of time to get to know her and she just told him that she was accepting of him being there. He still couldn't understand why she healed mostly him and not Sam.
It was not like any previous experiences going amongst the humans. Ezekiel figured that as much when he met Dean Winchester and then Sam and the Malachi. He was being given a chance here and he was witness to something that he would rather not see broken. He would protect her as he would Sam. Even if she didn't like it because she was special to him.
A/N: Just some ramblings on Ezekiel and his thoughts on the Malachi of Absolution while he's healing Sam. Enjoy.
