This is a small little fic that I've written for my Twitter followers who helped inspire me to write this after a Fake!Rumor of who was replacing Kate Beckett on Castle. Thanks goes to Grey_mind for egging this on, and all my other Tweeps for making me laugh and helping me keep the feed alive! I swear, I am still working on Nikki Heat in Wonderland.
They Casted Who, as who?'
By Karalaine
"The moment everyone has been waiting for," Rick Castle said as he strolled into the bullpen with his Daily Variety magazine in his hands. He held it up for everyone to see the headline: 'Casting for Castle book heating up.' "The Heat Wave cast has been announced."
"Ooh, who did they get for Raley?" Ryan asked as he sprinted from his desk and took the magazine from Castle's hand. He opened up to the middle of the magazine and shook his head in confusion. "Ryan Phillippe?"
"He was one of the police officers in Crash, and was married to Reese Witherspoon." Castle said.
"I know who he is, but he doesn't look anything like Raley."
"Give it up Bro," Esposito said as he joined the group hovering around the magazine. "They aren't casting an actor to play you." Ryan simply humphed and pulled out his phone and began sending a text message, presumably to his girlfriend Jenny to tell her the news. Esposito continued reading the article and came across who was playing his character, "Adam Rodriguez is playing Ochoa. Who's Adam Rodriguez?"
"He's one of the CSI techs on CSI Miami." Kate Beckett said from her desk without even looking up. She looked up noticing that everyone was being quiet and looking at her.
"Don't tell me you not only read mystery novels, but watch crime shows too?" Esposito said breaking the silence.
Kate shrugged and went back to her paperwork. "Occasionally I have been known to watch a few episodes of the CSI series, and Law and Order." The bullpen got eerily quiet with her last statement. "What? I like seeing what they get right and wrong. "The three guys looked at each other and shook their heads, then went back to the paper.
"So who did they get to play Rook?" Ryan asked as he further skimmed the article.
"Patrick Wilson." Castle said all proudly. "He was Night Owl in The Watchmen."
"Was he the one who was naked through the whole movie?" Ryan asked.
"No he was the rich geek who spent all his time with Rorschach." Kate said as she still continued to do paperwork. She once again looked up noticing that the guys were staring at her. "What? Am I not allowed to see movies?" The guys continued to look at her as if she had a horn growing out of her head, with the exception of Castle, who simply raised his eyebrow at her. "You all act like I live under a rock."
"I would say it was more like a wipe off board." Ryan said as him and Castle did the "Feed the Birds" hand gesture. They went back to the magazine.
"Forest Whitaker is playing the Captain?" Esposito asked.
"Nice." Ryan added.
"Whoa got Kristen Bell to play Kimberly Starr?" Esposito said.
"Didn't you see Forgetting Sarah Marshall?" Castle said. "She's perfect for the gold digging wife."
The boys continued reading the article and matching up the pictures on the page with the characters in the book. "Who is Ben Browder?" Esposito asked as he pointed to the picture of the actor playing Noah Paxton.
"He was John Crichton in Farscape." The guys including Beckett all looked at Ryan in disbelief.
"Hey I was in college and had a roommate who was into the show." Ryan said trying to back pedal his way out.
"Just give it up Ryan, you're a closet Scifi junkie." Beckett said with a smile, she then went back to her paperwork.
"You haven't asked us Beckett, who they got to play Heat."
"That's because I don't care." She said with snark.
Castle pointed to the picture in the article of who was playing Detective Nikki Heat, the title character of the Heat Wave movie.
"Oh." Ryan and Esposito said at the same time. They then looked up to her and then back to the picture in the article.
"I know, right?"
"Suddenly Ryan Phillippe looks really good." Ryan said.
"And you're okay with this Castle?" Esposito asked in disbelief.
"Well it's not who I would've casted, but I can see it."
Kate looked up from her paperwork and watched as the guys looked back and forth from the paper to her. She rolled her eyes. "Fine I'll bite. Who did they cast as Nikki Heat?"
"Take a guess. "
"No."
"I'll give you a hint; she was on a hit ABC medical show." Castle said with a grin.
"Well that narrows it down. Just tell me, Castle"
"You know you take the fun out of this game," he said. "Fine, they cast Katherine Heigl as Nikki Heat."
"Katherine Heigl?" Kate said.
"You know, the chick that was on Grey's Anatomy who made them write her out of the show with Cancer so she could do more movies." Esposito looked at Ryan once again strangely. "What? Grey's Anatomy just happens to be one of Jenny's favorite shows."
"Bro you are seriously whipped."
Kate rolled her eys as the guys compared their maturity to each other. "I know who Katherine Heigl is. I just don't see her as Nikki Heat."
"Sure she could be Nikki. Put a brown wig on her, give her a gun and she's one step closer to kicking someone's butt."
"Katherine Heigl?" Kate repeated.
"Yeah." Castle said excitingly.
"Katherine Heigl?"
"Isn't it awesome? Just think of all the articles there will be showcasing the two of you next to each other." Castle said as he sat in his chair next to her desk. "Heigl meets real Heat." He held his hands up to emphasize the headline title.
"Castle."
"Yes Beckett?"
"If you don't use whatever creative rights you have in stake for this movie to get a new actress, then I am seriously going to make you wish you had never signed the movie deal."
"Oh come on Beckett, I thought you didn't care who was playing Heat."
"Well I do now."
"You haven't even seen the test audition she did for the part."
"I don't care, she's still not Heat."
"And what makes you think I can get the producers to recast Nikki Heat?"
"You have friends, use them."
"I can't."
"And why not?"
"I sort of already gave them approval for the casting." She held her pen out as if she was going to stab him. "Whoa wait!" He said waiving his hands as if to get her to stop acting like she was going to stab him. "I saw the test scene they filmed with her and the other actors. She was good." Kate continued to glare at him. "I mean it; she fit the part of Nikki Heat."
"You better be right Castle." Kate said as she lowered her pen back to the form she was filling out.
"Twenty bucks says she takes her gun with her to the premiere of the movie just in case she needs to shoot him or Katherine Heigl." Esposito said to his partner.
"You're on!" Ryan said as the shook on the deal. His attention was then redirected back to the magazine, "Oh look! They are writing a part in the movie for Angela Landsbury."
Thanks everyone for reading! For more hilarity, follow me on twitter as Karalainee.
