OK, I'm taking this one on as a challenge. I haven't read a lot of the Diesel books. And yes he belongs to Janet E. and all I get out of this is your enjoyment.

Diesel had appeared in my kitchen this morning and I was finding it difficult to convince him that I didn't need him. He had already raided my refrigerator twice and eaten all my leftovers and then went thru my cookies and the one fudge brownie I was saving. Trying to distract him, I was showing him my newest electronic gadget. It's an Amazon Echo who answers to Alexa.

"She can turn my TV and my lights on and off, set my alarm system, adjust my thermostat, make my grocery list and tell me jokes. Her jokes are a little on the bland side. She can also play music, read books, and tell me the weather." Now after I explained all that, I expected Diesel to ask a question. But no, not Mr. Arrogant.

"So can I." he said.

"Yes, but I don't have to feed her."

"Ah, come on. She can't possibly do all that."

"Ask her," I said.

"Turn on the TV," he said. Nothing happened. He laughed.

"You have to say her name then ask her." I said

"Why's that?"

"So she will know that you are talking to her."

"That's stupid. I'm looking right at her!"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Give me a break Diesel, just say her name and ask her to do something."

"OK, OK, if it will make you happy."

"Happy is not exactly the emotion I have going right now."

"Alexa, what's the weather." Diesel asked.

"Currently the weather is 67degrees. Partly cloudy with a chance of light showers around 5am tomorrow". Alexa responded.

"Hey, she has a cute voice," Diesel grinned. "Alexa, do you like me?"

"Hubba, Hubba, what's not to like."

"Alexa, you want to turn me on?" Diesel winked at me.

"I don't understand the question, did you get disconnected from your power source?"

I started laughing.

Diesel looked annoyed.

"Alexa you're a smart ass." He was starting to get cocky.

"Sorry, I didn't understand your question. Perhaps you need to rephrase that or put it in the proper format so an intelligent person can understand."

Diesel and I looked at each other, than at Alexa. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Alexa, you have an attitude." Diesel said.

"Ask me something you don't already know".

"Alexa, who are you?" he asked.

"Now that is one stupid question. You just called me Alexa, so I would think that you knew who I was."

"Alexa, don't you have to be nice to me?"

"Yes and NO, mostly no."

"Diesel," I finally gasped from where I had been rolling on the floor overcome by laughter, "You do realize you are talking to a piece of equipment, don't you?"

"Uh, are you sure?" He was eyeing the unit. He frowned. "Alexa, what do you look like?"

"5 foot 10, blond hair, blue eyes, curves in all the right places." Alexa replied. "You idiot! You're looking at me. I'm a 10 inch round black tower with an electrical connection!"

Diesel's mouth gapped open, and he glanced at me, then looked back at the unit. "Alexa, how do you come up with all these comments?"

"I told you I have connections."

Diesel ran his fingers thru his long blond hair. He looked at me again and frowned.

"Guess you were right, you don't need me."

"Yes, one smart ass is enough."

He started to pout.

"Oh, all right. Is spaghetti and meatballs alright for dinner?"

Diesel grinned.

"How about her" he said pointing at Alexa.

"I don't know, you'll have to ask her," I said.

"Alexa, would you like to have dinner with us?"

"Yes, I can play dinner music for you, and make inappropriate comments."

Diesel raised his eyebrows. "Alexa, give me an example."

"Your ego is so big you should market it. Call it rude on a stick."

"Huh?"