A/N: A short little poem based off of the Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. You can easily find the complete poem with the illustrations(which are amazing, by the way) on the internet. It's a very entertaining work, in a morbid sort of way. Elva would approve of it.

Note: There are letters missing from the poem. Blame that on CP, because it isn't my fault that he didn't make proper use of the alphabet. It wouldn't have hurt to stick an Ursa in there, or a Zelda or something. Like Selena. She could have been easily named Poppy or Wilma, but no.

Disclaimer: I own neither the Gashlycrumb Tinies nor the Inhritance cycle. Those belong to Edward Gorey and Christopher Paolini respectively.


A is for Angela, assaulted by toads.

B is for Blagdam, pursued by mean crows.

C is for Carn, so careless with magic.

D is for Durza- those spirits had had it.

E is for Eragon, cursed by a toddler.

F is for Faölin, who became arrow fodder.

G is for Galbotrix, got kneed in the crotch.

H is for Horst, drank far to much scotch.

I is for Islanzadi, who found meat in her stew.

J is for Jarsha- brought too much bad news.

K is for Katrina, poisoned by her sire.

L is for Linnëa, caught in a brush fire.

M is for Murtagh, the dwarves had him stoned.

N is for Nasuada, who was left all alone.

O is for Oromis, who fell off his dragon.

R is for Roran, lost his arm via falchion.

S is for Selena-blame those who she bedded.

T is for Torkenbrand, who was neatly beheaded.

V is for Vanir, his arm got gangrene.

Y is for Yarbog, drowned in a stream.


A/N:If anyone doesn't know what gangrene is... let's just say that Vanir should have let Eragon heal his arm. It would have saved him much unpleasantness.

Also, I don't hate the characters(at least not all of them). I'm just making them die horrible deaths for my own amusement, and nothing more. I do not want anybody to get stoned to death, be attacked by rabid toads, or have their arm lopped off. Nor do I think that Nasuada is one to shoot the messenger. She was raised better than that.

R&R, I'm all for feedback.