disclaimer – naruto + co. belong to masashi kishimoto

dedication – to the end of my first year of college!

note – wow i've been gone a while. lots of things, both good and bad, have been happening lately and i'm managing rather well, i think. i know i have a history of sporadically updating, but i feel like you've all watched me grow and improve as a writer, and i hope i continue to grow. i'm working on updating the sasuke/sakura fic i currently have up buuut i also have many other things planned, so fingers crossed i actually pull through lol!

anyway here's some sad nejiten

.

.

.

.

When Tenten's phone rings at two in the morning, she is certain she is going to make someone pay.

"Who the fuck," she grumbles into her pillow. She flings her arm out toward her bedside table and gropes around for her phone. She considers letting it go to voicemail, just in case it's a telemarketer or a booty call or something, but her gut tells her to answer it, so she does. "Hello?"

"Hey."

"Neji?" Tenten scrambles to sit up and nearly drops her phone. "It's two A.M. Is…is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong." His chuckle sounds deep and warm, just like she remembers. "Just thought I should check on you. How are you?"

"How am I?" Tenten laughs nervously, stares at the spaces between the fingers of her free hand. She thinks, I have been better. She thinks, I haven't seen you in ages. She thinks, I am in love with you and it hurts. "I'm fine. You?"

"Ah...I miss you." She hears rustling on the other line. He must be in bed. Then—a woman's voice, soft and lilting. There's more rustling, and Tenten realizes he has put his hand on the speaker so as to keep her from listening. She strains to hear what he says – "Go back to sleep. I'll join you soon." – and then there are footsteps as he seems to walk away from his bed. The bed he shares with someone else.

Tenten sets the phone down. The muscles in her jaw flex uncomfortably. She runs a hand through her curly mess of hair, presses her fingertips to her temples, massages her eyelids, attempts to control her breathing. Anything to keep from crying.

Neji is back on the phone again. "Tenten, are you still there?" He sounds faint. Detached. He's been that way ever since he got engaged, but Tenten has never liked who Neji was in relationships. He always seemed to distance himself from her. She tries to make peace with it every time, but it has made her tired.

"Yeah," she breathes. "Still here. Probably shouldn't be, though." But she knows she probably always will be. She hates herself for it, a little.

"What do you mean?" He sounds so innocent, and it pisses her off.

"Neji, you can't keep doing this," she sighs, and her voice cracks out of exhaustion. "I'm going to bed."

"Wait, I'm sorry," he says. "Please. I just wanted to hear your voice."

Tenten closes her eyes. "Well."

"Tell me about work, or your friends, or—anything."

Okay, neutral topics. Tenten can do that. "I actually just got back from tutoring Hanabi's group. She's been picking up anatomy really quickly, but everyone's having issues with calculus. Um...Sakura and I are working on this group project for one of our larger lectures but it's not too bad. We went out with Ino and Hinata the other night for Ino's birthday, and we got way too smashed," she laughs softly. "I had to work a shift the next morning but I was only slightly hungover, courtesy of the Hyuuga miracle cure that Hinata made for us."

"Sounds like med school life hasn't changed you." She doesn't have to see his face to know that he's smiling. The thought of it makes her chest ache. "Have you…been out lately?"

"Been out?" She's not stupid. She knows exactly what he means. But she's been dealing with this shit for too long, and it's two in the morning, and she just wants to make him suffer a little.

"I mean, have you been out on any dates lately?" She imagines the light flush on his cheeks, how it's almost like pulling teeth for him to clarify even this much to her. He probably even looks a little embarrassed, like he shouldn't really be asking, which, he technically shouldn't be, since it's none of his business.

"Yeah, a few," she mumbles, shifting to lay down on her side.

"Anyone I know?"

"Kiba and I went out for a dinner a couple times. I got drinks with Sai, but that was a one-time thing. Genma and Izumo, not at the same time, obviously, but those didn't last long either because I'm not really interested in seeing anyone I work with." Also, they're not you, her mind supplies unhelpfully.

It is silent for a while. The sounds of the city seep in through her open window. She can hear Sakura snoring gently in the adjacent bedroom, but all she can focus on is Neji's steady breathing on the phone.

She wonders how long she can make it without crying, this time.

"Oh," he finally says. Tenten wants to laugh, but she doesn't. She didn't really mean for her answer to upset him, but she knows that he and Kiba have a complicated history. She knows that he doesn't approve of Sai because he hit on her the first time they met. She knows that he was suspicious about Genma, their undergrad biology TA who couldn't keep his eyes off Tenten. She knows that he thinks Izumo is a pervert.

She tries not to think about how those things may have factored in to her decision to see all of those men, at some point. She wonders if Neji is thinking the same.

"I'm coming home next week," he murmurs, so quietly that Tenten almost doesn't catch it. "Without her."

"That's great," she replies with a yawn. She doesn't miss how her heart seems to skip a beat.

"Will you be there?"

"When am I ever not here?"

Neji chuckles tiredly. "Fair enough."

"I'll be here." Tenten feels herself nodding off. "I think I'm gonna go, Neji. I have work in the morning."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Neji," she yawns again, but she stays on the phone for a few seconds longer. She thinks – hopes – that he has something more to say before she hangs up.

"Tenten."

"Hmm?"

"You are everything to me. You know that, right?" he says after a moment, so softly, so timidly, so unlike Neji.

"Yeah?" Tenten feels as if she has been struck directly in the heart. In this moment, she ignores how he has another woman in his bed, how she feels like his dirty little secret, how she and Neji can't seem to let each other go. In this moment, she lets herself love him. "Yeah, I know."

"Goodnight, Tenten."

She hangs up and puts her phone back on the bedside table, calculates how much sleep she'll get before work if she falls asleep right now. Tries not to focus on the splintering pain in her chest and how she can feel her heart breaking all over again. Holds her breath, counts sheep, hopes to fall asleep before she starts crying.

But she is alone, in this dark and quiet space. And so she allows herself to fall apart.

.

.

.

.

footnote – nejiten was actually one of my first naruto ships and i'm certain i've read like 80% of existing nejiten fic but i've never been brave enough to post anything i've written for them…until now. hope you guys enjoyed this!