"MAAAAT!" Matt jumped, coming out of his concentration with a jolt. After the shock subsided, he sighed.

Mello.

He probably wanted help with his trig homework.

He sighed again.

"Alright, I'm in here, Mello."

BANG!

The bedroom door flew open and in tumbled a disheveled Mello.

Even at the age of fifteen, the blond had already developed a leather fetish. But the second-skin outfit he wore now was ripped, torn, and bloody.

"Mello!?" Matt was up and off his bed in 0.05 seconds flat. "What happened to you?" Mello was leaning against the wall. Blood dripped from his nose, split lip, and many cuts and scrapes.

"Stupid fuckin seniors. Think just 'cause they're bigger than me that they're fucking stronger…"

"Oh, no, Mels. You didn't!" This sort of thing happened way too often. Anymore, Mello spent half his time either in the Dean's office, or passed out in the infirmary. Matt just couldn't understand it. How could such an intelligent person waste his time bloodying those that got on his nerves? Besides, Matt could think of something much more fun they could be doing…

Mello raised his chin defiantly.

"They were asking for it. Have been for weeks." Matt rolled his eyes. With Mello, anyone who breathed at him funny was asking for it. Mello, seeing this, shoved the redhead gently in the shoulder. "What's the look for? They were asking for it! They wanted their asses beat."

"Yah. Okay, Mello." Mello rolled his eyes at his friend's skepticism, spitting a glob of blood-tinged saliva into a corner. "I wish you wouldn't do that…"

"Hmm." Mello made his way over to Matt's bed, flopped down on it, and sighed. A few silent seconds passed, then Mello felt the dip in the mattress that meant he was no longer alone on the bed. A gentle hand rested itself on his soft yellow hair, slowly stroking him, making him relax.

"Mihael…" He stiffened at the use of the name. "Why do you do it?… Why do you fight?" After a few moments, Mello rolled onto his back so he could look the redhead in the eyes.

"Would you rather I let them talk shit about us? About Near? L?"

"No! Never. I just… I worry." He looked away. "You could get yourself into some serious trouble one of these days. I don't mean 'sent to the dean's' kind of trouble. I mean the beat-to-a-pulp or slit throat kind. Some of those kids are really dangerous. And if you… If you ever… Got hurt…" Matt cringed at the thought, "I wouldn't be able to handle it. I love you, Mels."

Matt looked back at the blonde. Strange how the image seemed blurred. He watched as Mello's face appeared to soften, and as a hand came up to his face, brushing at something just beneath his eye. It came away wet.

Oh.

Tears.

He blinked to clear his vision, and while his eyes were closed, he felt velvet lips press against his own quivering ones.

Oh, Mello…

The kiss was short and light and very, very sweet. Really, it was only one of many.

But in later years, it was the one that stuck out most in Matt's mind.

When they parted, Matt could feel Mello's lips curl up into a rare small smile.

Mello took Matt's hands and intertwined their fingers.

"Matty… Don't worry about me. Worry about you. Worry about Near. Worry about the kid at the end of the fucking hall. But don't worry about me. And… And don't love me." His smile disappeared and was replaced by a hard, stony look. "If you love me even the slightest bit, you'll get hurt. You'll probably die. Don't love me. Don't worry about me. And please, please don't come after me when I'm gone."

Matt could feel the look of shock and hurt plastered on his face. How had the conversation turned this way?

"G-gone…?" his throat felt like it was tied in a knot.

"Yeah. I can't stay here. I have to follow L. You know that… L's in Japan fighting this whole 'Kira' thing. I know I can help, but I gotta be there to do anything."

A great roaring sound filled Matt's head. It was as if he were trying to keep some terrible knowledge from his own consciousness. Mello… Japan… Kira…

"NO!" The cry tore itself from Matt's throat, echoing around the room and ringing in his ears. After the shock (he hadn't meant to say anything out loud), he recovered enough to throw himself at Mello, knocking them both off the bed and clinging to his vest as they lay on the floor. "Mello… No. No. No. Don't you dare do this to me."

"Matt." Mello slowly placed a hand on Matt's burgundy hair. The redhead was shaking horribly, and as Mello thought this, a sob escaped his friend's lips, causing him to convulse violently and clutch tighter at him. "Matt, calm down. You're going to make yourself sick." He wrapped the boy in a loose embrace, trying to soothe him with his own body.

"No… N-no. You can't do this. Not y-you too. I'll go mad w-without y-you."

Mello swallowed the rising lump in his own throat.

"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry, Matty. If it's too hard for you, I'll wait. I won't go just now."

"Never…"

Silence.

"Mello…?"

"…"

"MELLO, GODDAMMIT! DON'T YOU DO IT! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME

HERE!" The volume of his voice hurt both their ears.

"Not yet. But Matt, I have to go to L. I have to help."

"Then I'll come too." Matt pushed himself up off of the blonde, placing one arm on either side of his head and staring down at him. Mello's resolve seemed to falter in the intensity of his emerald stare.

"It'll be dangerous. You might die."

"It would be better than living without you." The feeling in Matt's low voice when he said these words startled Mello. He felt his chest tighten painfully.

"But-" He wanted to point out how they would have little time for each other if indeed they did go to L together, but he was cut off when a pair of soft lips covered his own. He could feel Matt's tears on his face now, and it made him feel terrible. How could he have hurt this boy so much? This fire-haired angel sent directly from the Father himself to bring the light of a star into his bleak, miserable world?

Suddenly, he was kissing air.

He opened his eyes slowly, in a daze. And there he was. Beautiful. Shining. Perfect as always with that soft, loving smile on his lips.

"Never leave me?" The slight weight of the slim, hard body pressed on top of his felt so good. Those deep green eyes were so distracting. That perfect, easy smile… Those lips that tasted of citrus and cinnamon… God…

He had to swallow a few times before any sound would come out of his mouth.

"Never." He promised in a breathy whisper.

"Damn right." A wider smile.

And then they were kissing again, tongues battling each other for dominance. Matt won in the end. He always did. Mello had reached his arms up and wrapped them tightly around the boy on top of him. They were locked together, bodies molded to one another. Mello felt nimble hands running over his sensitive scalp, and moaned into the sweet/spicy mouth. Matt sighed in answer, breaking the kiss for air. He was dizzy, and Mello took advantage of his weakened state. He removed his arms from around the slim waist, and instead placed them on Matt's hips. Without missing a beat, he forced their pelvises together, making their half-hard arousals rub against each other.

Matt gasped.

Mello groaned.

Suddenly, being clothed became a nuisance.

Matt seemed to realize this just as Mello had, for no sooner had he wished it gone, Matt's shirt was flying across the room, leaving his shining red hair ruffled and messy.

Mello wanted to grab that hair, those perfect shimmering strands, run his hands through it and-

God, he was so hard!

A heated moan he hadn't known he'd been repressing escaped his mouth.

A sultry smile spread over Matt's face when he heard the sound. Mello was so pathetic when he was horny. But somehow, that just made the blonde sexier.

He wanted to hear it again. That beautiful sound his partner had made. So he slowly worked his way down Mello's body, never breaking eye contact except to slide off the leather vest. He was almost there…

Perfect.

By this time, Mello was watching with a glassy-eyed expression somewhere between uncontrollable lust and amused curiosity.

Oh, this was gonna be good.

But before finishing his plan, Matt decided to toy with him. Still lying down, he traced a long, wet line with his tongue over the pale washboard stomach, down to the naval, and trailed his tongue in a spiral motion downward, then thrust sharply in and out in an action suggestive of much naughtier things. Other than being dirty, this also had another purpose. This was one of Mello's most sensitive spots. A few more seconds and-

"Fucking God, Matt…" Mello was fisting his hair, begging.

Muscles tightened. Breathing hitched. Sweat poured down his neck.

For the older boy, tongue-fucking his bellybutton was the equivalent of a blow job. The strangeness of it made Matt want to laugh every time.

"Oooh… gah-god…St-STOP!" The command caught Matt off-guard, and made him pause.

"What? I thought you liked this." He raised himself up and looked Mello in his crystal-blue eyes, licking his lips.

Mello had to look away. One more push, and he would go over the edge. He had to get to Matt before he completely lost control. He was already having trouble breathing and his hard-on was becoming unbearable. He needed to be buried inside that tight, hot, firm-

But Matt hadn't waited for an answer. In one fluid motion he had sat up, positioned himself above Mello's painful (and still clothed) erection, and slammed himself down as hard as he could.

Mello screamed.

Matt laughed.

He set up a steady and brutal rhythm of bouncing as a fresh layer of sweat beaded on Mello's brow. The hopelessly aroused blonde threw back his head as far as the wood floor would allow him, and moaned loudly. He couldn't believe what the redhead was doing to him. It was so… Cruel…

"Cum for me, Mels. You know you want to." Matt, himself was becoming breathless. Even through leather and denim, Mello was a lot to handle. "Come on. Give the laundry ladies something to talk about."

"N-not yet. That's gonn-AH… Sh-shoot inside… You."

Matt laughed again. He stopped bouncing, and leaned down, taking the shell of Mello's ear between his teeth and rolling it gently.

"Mihael…" the hot, moist breath… the use of his true name… it was all driving Mello insane. Not to mention Matt had their bodies pressed - cock-to-cock - together. He let out a long, low groan. "You're hardly in any position to be arguing with me," he ground into Mello's thigh, "are you?" Matt's hand returned to the abused bellybutton, and made harsh little circles around it. Mello, desperate for more friction, grabbed Matt's hips and thrust up weakly. But it was no use. The boy on top of him wouldn't move. And Mello was ready to scream from the torture. The pressure that was being applied to him was wonderful, but without movement, there would be no release, and that was what Mello wanted; what he needed. What he needed right that fucking moment.

Abruptly, it all became too much for Mello to handle. He snapped.

Summoning up the very last of his strength, he forced Matt off him and onto the ground. Then he stood up and grabbed Matt again. He swept the shocked redhead's feet out from under him and carried him bridal-style back to the bed. When they got there, Mello dumped Matt onto the bed unceremoniously and attacked the boy's pants. Once they were finally off, (in his crazed state, Mello had had a hard time figuring out the buttons) he just stood and stared. The soft burgundy hair. The way those deep green eyes sparkled in the dying evening light. The perfect lips that were puckered and swollen from their kissing… and other things. The pronounced collar bone. Slim, strong arms. Long-fingered hands at the ends of the arms; he remembered what those hands could do, and shuddered with remembered pleasure. Slightly defined pecks with those little erect nipples. A beautiful, rippling stomach with the barest trace of hair running down to the boy's lower regions. And then… He felt himself smile. Matt had decided to go commando.

Lovely.

Growing impatient with his own thoughts, he gestured vaguely at his own pants.

"Open." He managed to croak, and let Matt untangle the complicated corset that held the things on his body. Clumsily, the boy obeyed, still shocked by Mello's reaction to his teasing.

Ten seconds passed.

Then thirty.

A full minute had gone by before Matt's shaking hands managed to undo the last knot, and pull the leather flaps open and down.

And there Mello stood, in all his naked glory. Matt stared, mouth open in awe. He had a halo. The sinking sun behind him illuminated his blonde head perfectly, making the golden hair shine, but throwing the face into shadow.

Mello hadn't worn underwear either.

Of course not. He never did. He was Mello, for Christ's sake…

Slowly, deliberately, tenderly, Matt rose to his knees, pressing his abdomen to the huge treasure in front of him. He heard Mello groan and felt him wiggle his hips, trying to create more friction, and in the same sensual manner, he raised his arms to drape around Mello's shoulders - one on his back, the other cupping the back of his neck - and pressed their lips together. But something happened. Before their lips even met, he found himself thrown back down onto the bed.

"No. You don't deserve kisses, teasing bastard." Mello's voice was low and dangerous, and as he crawled onto the bed, the look on his face was one of pure predatory lust. Oh shit, Matt thought. "What you deserve…" Mello flipped Matt onto his stomach, moving around behind him and settling himself between his legs. He really had pushed Mello too far. He was going to get it now. "Is to be fucked mercilessly into this mattress." He pinned Matt's arms behind his back, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. Matt shivered in anticipation. "And you know what?" Matt heard a click. Shackles. And not the fluffy or bondage kind. Real handcuffs. Had Mello taken a souvenir from his latest arrest? "That's exactly what I'm gonna do." He nipped the shell of his ear harshly, just like he knew Matt liked it, and thrust forward sharply.

A scream of pure pain and ecstasy tore through the small room.

In one go, Mello had pushed in so far that he had hit that special spot deep down inside of Matt. And Mello was so big. Matt was stretched to his limit, his voice cracking and breaking with the sheer volume of his screaming. No preparation. No lube. No warning.

Just the way he liked it.

"God, Mail. So tight… So good." Mello groaned loudly as he pulled out almost all the way, and plunged back in harder than before. "Ahhh…"

Matt stifled a whimper. No matter how much he liked it raw, he never could get used to the feeling of being torn open. And he had been torn. In several places. His poor entrance must be bleeding horribly. But Mello liked blood. He wouldn't stop just because of that.

In fact, if anything, the knowledge that his partner was in pain seemed to make Mello even hornier. If that were at all possible.

Sadist.

But still… His body was responding. He had managed to move his arms up, around, and in front of him, and was on his knees now, pushing back against the blonde in time to his thrusting. He was panting and sweating, great suffocating waves of pleasure washing through him and threatening to take him under every time his prostate was hit. He was seeing stars, tasting sweat, and smelling sex. He was clenching his fists and crying out as he begged Mello to go faster. Deeper. Harder.

And now he was sliding forward and a bit to the side on the sweat-dampened sheets as Mello changed angles and pace. Now every time he was driven into, his prostate was being hit. Harder and harder until…

"Mello, touch me! I-I gotta -a-AH… I gotta cum!…"

And in the heat of the moment, whatever wrong he had committed seemed to have been forgiven or forgotten, because Mello's thin, soft hands were suddenly wrapped around him, and the blonde's hot, sweet breath was between his shoulder blades as they both thrust wildly towards completion.

"Hah… ughn… GOD MIHAEL"

"F-fuck, Mail…"

They collapsed, one on top of the other as they came as one in great, hot spurts.

What seemed an eternity later, they lay quietly together, resting in each other's arms. The shackles had been removed, the sun had gone down, they had cleaned up, and drowsiness was fogging both their minds.

Mello had his arms wrapped securely around the younger boy, nose pressed to the soft fiery hair, hands rubbing soothing circles into the slim back. He knew the other loved this.

Suddenly, he tilted his face downward and kissed the top of Matt's head. Surprised, Matt moved back to look his partner in the face. Mello did it again, and half-smiled down at the wide-eyed young face.

"What was that for?"

"I love you." The smile grew wider.

"I love you, too. But…"

"But?" Matt's confusion amused the blonde.

"Well," Matt freed one of his arms so he could trace one of the closing cuts on his lover's cheek. Had it really been only a few hours since a bloody and battered Mello had burst through his door, talking of leaving and fighting Kira with L? The thought still made his heart ache. How could Mello even think about leaving? Not just leaving Whammy's… But leaving him, too… "It's just that you're never like this. You never want to hold me after we… do it. And you hardly ever say that you love me. Then you come to me all torn up, telling me not to love you because you're going to leave… It doesn't seem like something a man would do to the one he loves…"

Though he would never let it show, Matt's words cut Mello deeper than any pocket knife.

"Matty… I do love you. I do. Please… Never doubt that. And- and I'll never leave you, so you can stop thinking about that." Matt's hand rested on his cheek, and Mello turned and kissed the palm sweetly, letting his lips linger before he looked down again. When he did, the saddest sight he's ever seen greeted him.

A sad little smile curved matt's lips, and tears were pouring unchecked down his face, though he seemed not to notice. His eyes were downcast, shining wetly in the moonlight. As Mello looked on with a breaking heart, Matt spoke.

"You will leave me, though. I know you will. It's sad, really. I know you better than you know yourself. You're just not the kind of person to stay in one place, no matter how much love you receive and put out while you're there. Especially if bigger and better things are happening in other parts of the world. I don't like it, but I understand it. And I love you. So much that, if I have to watch as you tear yourself away from me… I will. All I can do is wait, and watch, and follow. And hopefully one day… you'll be able to love me again…"

The melancholy in his soft voice had Mello's eyes watering before he was even done. He blinked, and the tears spilled over, running sideways down his face and into the pillow. Matt was silent and still in his arms. He wasn't even crying anymore.

"How can you be so calm about this? Don't you realize what you're saying?" The tears were coming freely now, he was trembling and clutching at the still boy in is arms. He was behaving in much the same way as Matt had only hours before.

"Of course I do. I don't talk just for the sake of talking."

"Then… How…?"

Matt's sad little smile grew more pronounced, making his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners.

"Because I love you. I know that should make all this so much harder, but I don't see how it could. I'm already breaking apart inside… It's so strange… I can feel the cracks in my heart. My soul hurts terribly… But because I love you, I'll be okay. I won't shatter unless my love leaves me. Even if the object of my affections - you - leaves me, as long as I can hold onto my love, I can go on. Please know that. Even when you leave me, I'll love you. I'll love you until the last breath leaves my body. Who knows, if your 'God' does exist, I'll probably love you after I die, too. I know it sounds corny, but you're my forever love, Mels."

"Oh, God, Matty!" Mello tightened his hold on the boy and sat up, dragging him up

too, and showered his face with kisses

Suddenly, Matt grabbed Mello's face in a vise-like hold. He planted an open-mouthed kiss on his partner's already parted lips. Before Mello had completely registered what was happening, it was over, and Matt was off the bed and halfway to the door. Mello reached out a hand as if hoping the limb would grow to bridge the distance.

"I'll never leave you. Not really." Even in his own mind, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

Matt smiled sadly and shook his head, his hand turning the doorknob.

"…Yes, you will. They all do. Everyone…" The already fading light in Matt's eyes died completely as he said this.

He turned and left, letting the door swing shut behind him

And Mello wept. What was going on?

Well, he didn't have a clue, but he was going to find out.

I won't leave you, Matty. I promise. Just don't you give up on me. Not yet.