Just standing on the street in Volterra made me feel like crying – if I could, that is. But the thing is, I haven't cried in over a hundred years. Vampires can't cry. That was one of the things I had been looking forward to when I became a vampire. I had always thought I cried too much, but now I missed being able to. Sometimes, you just needed to be able to cry.
I was standing by the clock tower. I remembered running through the fountain in front of me, screaming at the top of my lungs. I remembered seeing Edward for the first time in six months and slamming into him.
"Amazing, Carlisle was right," he had said, breathing in my scent.
The memory was so vivid that it made my shoulders shake with silent sobs. I hated having to come back to Volterra, or anywhere that reminded me of the Cullens. It was hard. I hadn't been back to Forks in over sixty years since my father's funeral and I hadn't gone to our meadow since the last time I was with Edward.
Keeping to the shadows, I weaved through the crowds, my long, black cloak flowing behind me. Men stopped to stare as I walked by and woman turned green with envy. I knew I had that effect on people. My beauty rivaled even Rosalie's. I looked nothing like I had when I was human. I now had blond hair – almost white – that was cropped short in wispy layers. My lips were plump and blood red. My nose was petite and perfectly shaped and my eyes were wide. Ever since I had been change, my irises had been a perfect purple color no matter what my diet – vegetarian or not. My figure was perfect and curvy.
Aro was insistent that I joined them every year on Saint Marcus day. That made it even harder for me to be in the city. Not only was it the exact place where I had found Edward after so many months apart, but it was also the same exact day. The sad thing was, I was the only one in a cloak.
I finally made it through the mazes of alleys and found the entrance to the Volturi mansion. I slid down the hole and into the maze of vast underground catacombs. A flood of more bad memories flooded in front of my eyes. It had only been a year since I had last been down here – more like a day when you're a vampire – but I had been dreading this all year. I shivered though I had never been warmer than I was now.
I arrived at the elevator where Jane greeted me. She had been changed into a vampire when she had been young still, younger than me, and looked outrageously childish with her huge, doe eyes and brown hair. She wasn't quite as beautiful as I was, but still pretty.
"Hello, Bella," she greeted me. "How was your year?"
"Boring," I said nonchalantly. "What have you been up to?"
"This and that," Jane said, an evil smile twisting across her lips. Curious about what she was thinking about, I tuned into her thoughts. A slideshow of people being tortured under Jane's gaze flashed in front of my eyes. How could someone be so cruel and evil?
Once the slideshow had stopped, I continued to listen to her thoughts. "God, I hate her. I wish I could make her wither on the floor in pain. Why is it that the person I hate most in the whole world is the one person immune to my talent? I do know how to hurt her, though." I tuned out her thoughts.
"So, have you gone after Edward yet?" Jane asked out loud.
I grimaced at the mention of his name and snarled, "No, I haven't. And I'm not going to."
"Why not?" Jane said tauntingly. "It's obvious you still love him."
I didn't answer. I didn't know the answer exactly. I wanted to think it was because I was being selfless. I didn't want to throw myself back into his life when he was finally happy without me. Besides, he thought I had been dead since about five days after we…parted. I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist. I hadn't taken it off once since Jacob had given it to me.
The elevator dinged and I got off. Jane ran forward to hug Demitri who was standing in the room in front of us. I waved lightly at the smiling human sitting at the desk. They had gotten a new one since the last time I had been here. I felt a pang for the old human that had worked for them, probably long since drained of all her blood.
"Look who we have here?" I heard a voice say. "If it isn't Bella?"
"Aro!" I said, running forward to hug the old vampire. He had become a bit like a father to me when I had been with them. He was the only part of the Volturi that I had a problem leaving.
"I thought you wouldn't make it," he said with a laugh.
"Of course I would come," I told him. "I come every year."
"I shouldn't have doubt that," Aro said. "Now-"
"Let's wait a couple hours before you start begging me to join you again," I said.
"How do you know that's what I was going to say?" Aro asked. I simply tapped my temple.
"Bella," Marcus and Caius said simultaneously from behind me.
"Marcus. Caius," I said in return as they led me into the cathedral-like room.
We spent the next few hours reminiscing on the past year. They asked me everything I'd been up to and I relayed everything. They were still like my family even though I was no longer a part of them.
"Heidi's almost here," Demitri said, talking for the first time all night.
"I gotta go, then," I said, standing up and sweeping the hood of the cloak over my blond hair.
"Of course," Aro said. "But before you do, please let me at least try and convince you to join us again."
"I already know exactly what you're going to say," I told him. "And you already know what my answer is going to be. I can't go against who I am."
"Okay," Aro said. "But I do expect you back here next year."
"As always," I smiled and headed out the door. I passed Heidi on the way and the group of humans following her. I wrinkled my nose in distaste for the diet of the Volturi, but I felt a bit hypocritical. Hadn't I followed the exact same diet for over five years?
The party was still raging on the streets above us. How ironical? I thought. There celebrating the fact that Saint Marcus got rid of all the vampires in Volterra when we are still walking among them.
Several men wearing fake fangs whistled at me as I walked by. I rolled my eyes. Not at the whistles, but at the fangs. Vampires don't have fangs. I should know.
