A Bend in the Road
Astrid thought life was much like the ocean, you never knew what it might do. You may be watching it, and think as it comes rolling towards the shores that it'll crash with foam and bubbles, but then it turns and gently laps the sands instead. It was always unpredictable. Like life. You never knew when life would take a sharp turn, or a detour, or go downhill, or make an uphill climb. Some had a nice straight path for their life, easy, sweet, and happy.
Why couldn't hers be a lane? Be a predictable stream?
She wrapped her arms around her knees, drawing them close to her chest and resting her chin against them, staring bright eyed at the ocean and sunset before her. She watched the water lap playfully, reasonably calm today. Why was it so happy? Today was not a happy day, today deserved to be covered in clouds and rain, to be stormy and gloomy. Nothing about today deserved happiness.
Her mother was gone. Forever.
She'd never come back. She'd never give Astrid another battle axe. She'd never go through training session with her ever again. She'd never smile, never tell stories, never laugh, never hold her, never give her reassurance, never give her advice, never... never be there again...
Astrid stifled a sob, swallowing hard to keep the tears from coming. She was a Hofferson. She would not shame her family name by crying, even if there was no one but Stormfly there to see her.
She kept her gaze on the water and sky below her, her feet inches away from the edge of the cliff. She sighed shakily, wondering why- what had she done- to make this happen? Why had her mother had to go? Why did her heart have to fail? Why was she gone?
"Astrid?" came a gentle voice from behind, and it was almost as though Astrid was expecting it. She wasn't startled, she didn't give a little jump of surprise, somehow she knew he would come.
She didn't reply, because honestly she didn't know if she wanted him to leave or not. Deep down she knew she wanted him near, but her pride was on top of that, and it told her to suck it up and push away sympathy.
Hiccup stepped beside her, but she didn't bother to look at him. After a second or two, he dropped down to sit beside her, his legs going to dangle off the side of the cliff.
"How're you doing?" He asked softly, his voice kind, gentle, and sweet. It made Astrid wish he'd just go away, because when he talked like that she couldn't help but feel her resolve give away. Especially the tears. She really wanted to cry, and she'd been doing fine so far, but somehow Hiccup's calm voice had a way of disarming her... making her emotional barriers fall away.
"Fine." She answered curtly, her tone coming a bit sharper then she'd intended. She refused to look at him, she knew if she did she'd fall apart.
"You've... you've been gone all day." Hiccup went on. She continued staring, now unseeing towards the sea. The sea where only hours earlier her mother's pyre had disappeared.
"Wouldn't you isolate yourself if you're mother had just died?" She asked, once again sounding harsh and almost rude. She didn't care, she just wanted to be left alone, wanted to let her mind travel on, wanted to disappear... she just wanted to wake up from this awful nightmare.
"I..." Hiccup's voice trailed off, his voice never losing that calm tone. "I just thought you might want..."
"Want what?" She snapped irritably. Why couldn't he take a hint and just go away?
"Someone..." Hiccup murmured. "I-I'm sorry, Astrid." He whispered, and even though she couldn't see him she knew he was looking at her, and it took all she had to not look back.
But her resolve slipped, and she let herself speak the soft words, "Why, Hiccup? Why did it have to be her?"
"I-I don't know, Astrid." Hiccup replied quietly. "Sometimes... these things happen. And the winter was hard on her, and her heart was weak..." He paused, and she waited for him to continue, although she doubted his words were helping her any. "She was in pain from her heart decease, Astrid. Don't... wouldn't you rather her be happy and without pain?"
"Yes." She replied. "But, why... why did it all have to happen to her in the first place?" She bit her lip again to keep from crying, her emotions crawling up her stomach and into her chest.
"I don't know." came Hiccup's whispered response. "But I know she'd want you to be happy, to not mourn over her passing."
Astrid let out a choked sob, squeezing her eyes shut to keep from crying outright.
A hand rested lightly on her back, and she stiffened under his touch. "It's okay to cry, Astrid."
That did it. The dams broke and the tears began streaming down, no matter how hard she tried to stop them. Hiccup's arm wrapped even tighter around her shoulder, pulling her against his chest while his other arm went to envelope her in a hug.
She cuddled against him, letting herself sob and cry against his shirt. The entire time he whispered soothing words and rubbed her back softly, making her sob all the harder. Why was he being so nice? She'd been treating him like crap all day and yet he was still being the sweet guy he always was...
"I miss her, Hiccup." She gasped between sobs. "She- she was so special."
"Shh, yes I know..."
"I'm all alone now." She continued, her voice growing softer as her sobs quieted, but the tears continued falling.
"Never." Hiccup's voice was firm, yet gentle. He lifted a hand to clumsily push the bangs out of her face, even though he wasn't looking at her. Her head was still pressed against his chest, her hands clutching the fabric of his shirt.
"You're never alone, Astrid. I'm here for you, the gang is here for you, all of Berk is here for you. And I'll always be here for you. Don't-don't ever forget that."
She nodded, but didn't let go of him. He didn't let go of her either, and she took that as permission to stay where she was, held close and safely against his warm and comforting body.
Yes. Hiccup was there for her. How could she have forgotten? Hadn't he said so only a few weeks ago?
There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid.
She clung to him harder, desperately hoping he was right, and that she wouldn't lose him too.
Another prompt on tumblr, hope you enjoyed this! :D
