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{better then me}

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They all will always tell me that I'm too good for you, but I know the truth. They've got it backwards. You deserve better then me.

You kill me. Every second with you murders my very being, because the guilt is a jagged blade digging deeper and deeper in a heart I didn't think I had. Your innocence destroys me, I swear. It's your love that will be the death of me. I'm such a sinner, and you're a saint. Who thought the guilty die before they're hung on the gallows for their crimes?

You love me in a way I didn't know a human being had the ability to love. You love me endlessly. You love in a way that forever is a reality. You love me in a way that I didn't know a mortal could. You love me boundlessly. You love me in the way only a creature beyond the restraints of humanity should be able to.

There are no restrictions to your love, you draw no lines, and you do not stop. You just love. You love, and love, and love. Where does all of it even come from? How do you posses so much love in your heart that it can just overflow? The rest of us, we all have limits. We all must stop at some point. We all get to an obstacle that we cannot over come, that out love does not trump. But you, your love is this indestructible object. Nothing can stop. Nothing can make it falter. You can be cold bloodedly murdered and still love the offender. You love in the most unhealthy of ways.

They hurt you. I hurt you. But you love us all. Why? Why don't you stop? Why don't you call it quits? Why can't you just hold back? Why? Why allow so much suffering on your part. Why do tears not jade your eyes? Why do scars not callous your skin? Why are you so pure when everybody taints you?

Are you even real? Sometimes I feel like you can't be. Can is really possible for one person to love so deeply?

You love to the detriment of yourself. You ask for nothing back. You just believe, you just trust, in others appreciation, but you do not need proof of it. You expect no thanks. It's almost scary. You're like a child. You know there is "bad" in the world, you of all people, you the one who is abused and harassed by your own goddamn parents. For Christ's sake you know there is darkest, you have to, of any one, know it best. So why? Tell me why, why do this? Why love? How can you be so blind to evil and yet accepting of it at the same time? How can you brush away everyone's tears but your own? Why do their illicit traits not horrify you into leaving? How do you not run screaming from them all? From me?

You're so special; the word special alone doesn't even cover it. You're like a mythical creature people hear about but never see up close. An actual human being with endless love. One who can be slowly destroyed and still worship and be devoted to others. You're something the rest of the world lost a long time ago. Honest to god, I think you're magic.

And I don't deserve you, I never will. But if there's one thing I can only wish, is that you keep on loving people. Because I don't want the kind of love you have the capacity for to go extinct. It's so precious, something truly priceless. I can only hope and pray that you never lose this gift, this blessing you have. You're better then me, you're better then all then, and you don't even see it. Maybe that's why you're better.

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