Disclaimer - Not mine.
A/N - OK, this story is a bit of an experiment, because I've pretty much given up on writing fanfic to cocentrate on my own piece. Though I do hope to finish my other stories. Anyways, I've never written anything for Stargate Atlantis before, so it's a little odd trying to adjust to it. Carson's obviously my favourite character, so I thought I'd give this story a go. Hope you like it. Constructive criticism very welcome - please review!
Carson leant against the balcony railings, savoring the open air. The cellular degradation had already been halted by aggressive treatment. He had worked feverishly on Earth, in every spare moment, just as Keller had on Atlantis. His return had been at her insistence. She had wanted to monitor his progress, and until today, had barely let the city's former CMO out of her sight. In retrospect, Carson supposed that he should feel bad for abandoning the infirmary the moment her back was turned. Keller would be furious at him. Though he was, by and large, recovered, there were any number of possible side effects that they had both considered. Not least of which was a rapid backslide.
The doctor couldn't find it in himself to care as he gazed onto the calm waters surrounding Atlantis. This was home now. Carson took a deep breath. Fresh air filled his lungs. It felt as though his chest would burst with relief. Three months on Earth had translated into three months inside Cheyenne Mountain, staring at slate-gray walls.
Wind whipped through his hair, pulling tufts from side to side. It felt good to be back. A sharp anxiety which had plagued him since his departure to Earth those months ago had retreated to the edges of his consciousness. Carson supposed those feelings were natural, given his brush with death. Tears filled the corners of his eyes. He ran through a mental list of the names of the dead. There had been so many he had not known about – Elizabeth, for one.
The balcony was dark, and blessedly quiet. He had sought it out before, a long time ago. Back when there had only been the original Carson Beckett. The doctor waited for a swell of bitterness, and was surprised when it did not arrive. This was his first sight of the outside world – any outside world – in three months. And by God, it was beautiful. His brief smile faltered as Carson thought of Keller. He glanced down at his scrubs. It was cold out here, and they offered little protection against the wind. Carson was ready to turn back when a familiarly skittish voice interrupted his peace and quiet.
"Carson? What the hell are you doing out here?" McKay asked bluntly.
He jolted, at the sudden noise. "I was just getting some air, Rodney."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Carson knew they were not enough. McKay's eyes narrowed. He made a sound somewhere between a grunt and a snort, before grabbing his best friend's elbow. The doctor allowed himself to be lead back inside. He listened all the while to McKay's constant chatter.
"-you're freezing, Carson, maybe you need to go back to the infirmary."
He stopped short, surprising McKay. "No."
"No? Why not?" McKay asked. "It's like…uh… a holy place for you, or something."
"Not anymore." Carson said.
To his credit, the physicist said nothing. He shot his friend a concerned look, and dragged him back inside. It was only as they passed by the third or fourth window that Carson noticed the sky starting to lighten. He wondered how long he had been standing on that balcony.
"Keller's gonna be mad at you." He said.
Carson's watery smile returned. "Aye. Probably."
"Hypocrite."
McKay's childish retort provoked a small laugh from Beckett. He turned to his friend, who wore a worried expression. The doctor resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"I just wanted some air, Rodney. I've been stuck underground."
"Yeah." The physicist said, in a surprisingly soft voice. "For what, over two years?"
The insight jolted Carson. He looked away sharply. The memory of Rodney's halting explanation – of his story about the other Carson Beckett – was still too fresh.
"For a while." He conceded. "Longer than I'd have liked."
"So – you hungry?" McKay said. He waited for a response and sighed irritably. "Carson. Come on, before Conan and Kirk get all the good stuff."
It was only then that Carson noticed they were headed toward the mess hall. His faint smile returned at the sound of McKay's all-too-familiar complaints.
