Disclaimer: I do not own any Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters, plotlines, etc. Duh.

Before

I was happy, before. I would wake up to the smell of pancakes in the morning, made especially for me, and I went to sleep at night feeling loved, knowing that if anything happened to me, someone in the room next to mine would be there to help. I understood that they had to go out patrolling every night; I mean, who else would protect Sunnydale from the evil nasties? I knew they'd be home in an instant if I needed them. They loved me. They shielded me. They would do anything for me. And I felt…safe. That doesn't really make sense, being safe and living on a Hellmouth; but I thought I was. My every need was met, and I had people that actually cared. Not everyone has that. Maybe not even most people. I was lucky; and I knew it. I was the closest I had ever come to my fantasy; a real family. After Mom died, I was lost, and angry, and even went so far as using magic to bring her back. I didn't go through with it, though. Some things are just unchangeable, you know? And I learned, thanks to my sister, that it was bad to try and change the way things were. It wasn't right to disturb the dead. I got it. So why didn't my guardian? If it weren't for them; I wouldn't have been in this situation. Everything could have stayed the way it was. Maybe I'm being selfish, but, to me, everyone else seemed to get along much better before they meddled. Fate shouldn't be toyed with. Why didn't they get that? I was at least six years younger than them; so why couldn't they grasp that simple concept? It would have been better if they had. Better for all of us. Sure; it was hard before, but I was happy; they were happy. I just…don't see the sense. I'm just a teenager; a baby in their older eyes, so my opinion doesn't count. I get that; but I wish-no, scratch that. I don't wish anything. Wishing gets people into all kinds of trouble; I know from experience. Instead, I guess I'll say I would have preferred that they had asked me; considered my feelings before their own. They made their choice; they acted. And I respect that. But they abandoned me. And I don't know if I can forgive them. I could forgive my mom; she never would have left me if she had the choice; but just like I can't forgive Dad for never caring what became of me; I can't forget what they've done to me; to my life. I was never truly happy until they took over, after they showed me compassion and love and protection that I had never known since my parents split up. After what they did; I doubt I'll ever feel it again. My childhood was cut short; just like my sister's. I had to grow up way too soon, and for reasons that should never even have been an issue! It infuriates me. But, like I said; I respect their decision. If they felt the need to do this, then I'm sure they were just looking out for everyone's best interests. Or most people's. Still; call me a selfish brat or whatever you want to; but I don't think I'll ever truly forgive them. Willow and Tara were like parents to me-maybe even better than my own; but after they brought Buffy back…my world was shattered.