Hello, I'm back with a remake of The Boredom Chronicles, now hopefully not as boring. The original is still around, so if you want to compare, go ahead.


I - The Hakurei Shrine ALMOST gets Destroyed for Fun

The air was stale once again in Gensokyo. From where I was, I could see the shrine maiden, Ms Reimu, sweeping the leaves on the pathway to her shrine. As Ms Marisa once pointed out during the, 'Yukari-decided-to-involve-everyone-in-a-war-for-fun' incident, more leaves fall during the cool months. Thus, recalling what my sister taught me, 'the temperature is inversely proportional to the amount of leaves falling'. If you do not know what that is, it means that the higher the temperature, the less leaves fall. Ms Marisa says that it means that she sweats the same amount no matter what the season.

I was wandering around the Hakurei Shrine simply because I had nothing else to do at the moment, so I stopped by to watch the shrine maiden and the visitors (invisibly, of course). I suppose I could have gone to visit my sister and her pets, but that would mean wasting the bright daylight up here. They should really come up once in a while.

Ms Reimu finally finished sweeping all the leaves into a neat pile by the side. She sat down at this small metallic table and poured herself a cup of tea. A few minutes later, the flapping of wings could be heard. We looked up into the sky and saw Aya, the "honest (liar) newspaper reporter". She threw down one of her largely misleading newspapers, the front page headline reading, "Meeting at Hakurei Shrine tomorrow!" For once, a headline that actually made sense and was useful. That was an achievement, considering the kind of titles she had come up with in the past... "Shrine Maiden Kills the Dead!" during the never-ending winter incident over five years ago. "The Moon gets Replaced!" during the fake moon incident just after that, and, "Crazy People on Youkai Mountain!" when the Moriya Shrine appeared at said place.

The red-white heaved a sigh, one of irritation and not one of relief. "Why here... Why here... Why not the Scarlet Devil Mansion or Hakugyokurou..." She grumbled to herself. "The preparation for this kind of Gensokyo-wide event is insane, even with the help of Ms Yukari and Suika... although they mess up more than they help, especially the former...

"Right, everyone knows where my shrine is, the Moriya Shrine is too far, the Yakumo Mansion's location is unknown, Eientei is literally in the middle of nowhere, nobody dares to go to the underground Palace, and the temple cannot accommodate everyone. Tch, I was kind of enjoying the serenity lately.

"Ms Scarlet and Ms Sakuya are coming, so we'll need shelter from the sun. Hmm... what about the tea... I'll have to tell them to bring their own. Oh, and snacks, yes snacks..."

She continued going on and on about all the trouble that this would cause her, how cleaning up would take forever, yeah, you get the point. I hope you get the point, at least.

I had heard this kind of complaints from her before, but since she could possibly seal me somewhere or exterminate me on sight (I would give her a mouthful of roses first, okay?) and since I was not willing to take the risk of vanishing for real, I decided against helping her. It was not as if I would be attending the meeting anyway. Sister was representing the Palace of the Earth Spirits, and also the underground, so there was really no need for me to be there. Sister was great at meetings.

I turned away from the Hakurei Shrine and continued my walk around Gensokyo, enjoying the sunshine and vitamin D. It was lovely, and I hoped that these times would last for another decade or so. Of course, they would not, because I manipulate the subconscious, and not fate. Go ask the Scarlet Devil Mansion's mistress if you want that. Although, it might not go as you had planned.

So I wandered around in the peaceful atmosphere of the place called Gensokyo, unaware of the chaos that would ensue the next day.

And that chaos would be caused by me.

... ... ... ... ...

Although sister was attending as the representative of the underground, and I had made it clear that I had wanted nothing to do with the meeting, I still attended anyway. Invisibly, of course. "Why?" you ask? Well, I just wanted to observe.

When the last person to arrive, Reisen, stepped into the circle of chairs and sat down, the meeting finally began. I mean, after she apologised for being late and explained that Eientei was nearly set on fire due to a flame-throwing maniac and that a whole section of the forest would have been burnt down if a kappa had not been there to help douse the fire. At least now everyone knew why Ms Kawashiro, who had come with Ms Inubashiri (nobody wanted Aya here) to represent Youkai Mountain, walked in looking like she had just fought a fire.

"So," Ms Reimu began, "The problem appears to be that there is... No problem."

Several people cheered, only to get amulets whizzing past their heads. "That was a warning shot. The next person who cheers will get one in her face."

The people there had mixed reactions to this threat. Some, such as Ms Kazami (who was not actually invited, but nobody had the guts to tell her so, and those who did could not be bothered to do so) simply waved it off. I mean, she could probably reflect it or overpower it, even though she probably could not outrun it. Others such as Ms Reisen trembled slightly. She seemed to recalling the "Imperishable Night incident", where Ms Reimu and Ms Yakumo threatened to shoot off her clothes if she did not move.

Ah, reading memories sure was fun~

"So the premise of this whole meeting was to make an incident?" Ms Yukari asked.

"Basically, yes," Ms Reimu answered.

"Then may I propose that we destroy your shrine?" Ms Marisa said as a slight smile crept onto her face.

This statement earned Ms Marisa a good hard whack on the head with Reimu's gohei, also known as the fancy stick.

"Never! Not again!" She shrieked. "There's no point in re-doing that again, since repetition of events is always not fun." (And I don't need to rebuild my shrine again and worry about the cost,) she thought.

A voice that sounded like a horn cut through the air. When I say that, I am really not kidding. Her singing sounds more like she is part of the orchestra than the singer. Although, the Gensokyo Orchestra does not need a horn, though they could do with a flute or a tuba... And singers that did not break glass or make people blind.

"What's reh-pe-ti-tion?" Cirno asked. She was a child in non-human terms, but a grandmother based on her age if she had been human. Fortunately she was a fairy, who apparently might grow into a youkai due to her powers which exceeded regular fairy abilities by quite a bit. Her knowledge was slightly below average for a fairy nearing her seventh decade.

"Repetition means to do again and again," her good friend, Daiyousei (Dai for short), patiently replied. Apparently she was nearly a century old, but she still listened to Cirno as she was "more accustomed to life outside the lake". Dai cannot remember what she is the fairy of, but it is widely speculated that she could be a mist fairy, or even an elder snow/ice fairy. It has something to do with one of the three states of water. Unlike Cirno (well, most fairies), she was pretty smart, having wisdom and knowledge rivalling that of a teenaged human child.

The two of them were coming as the Misty Lake representatives. Under normal circumstances, they would have begged Ms Whiterock to go, but since it was not yet winter, they came instead. Considering the Misty Lake area consisted mostly of fairies and plants, it was a relatively okay idea since most of the other nature spirits around there would have been playing pranks (such as blowing up the shrine) on people already. At least those two could control themselves for an hour or so. Nobody was really pleased to have them, but it was better than having spikes on the chair when you sat down.

Ms Yukari appeared to be deep in thought, but frankly all she was thinking of was, "It's so cold, I wanna sleep..."

"In the middle of the third month?" I thought.

Finally, she spoke. "How about purposely sending someone to the outside world for a while, and tracking how well they're doing with blending into society there?"

There were some murmurs among the circle of people. At last, Ms Sanae rose and said, "Oooh, that sounds fun! Whoever we send must look human but cannot be human!"

I remembered Ms Sanae. She was standing on the pathway leading up to where I had been during the Orin-releases-spirits incident, otherwise known as the "Subterranean Animism incident". I watched Ms Reimu and Ms Marisa fight their way through a shower of... Fruits and rice... Right. When they made it to me, I would have burst out laughing. I mean, who challenges people while covered in food? That day I found out not to underestimate people with banana peels on their heads, and rice in their clothes.

Ms Yakumo had a rather devilish smile on her face. "How about schools? Most of you look more like children than adults. I'll help with transport from here to there, but once you're out there, you're on your own."

"Ah," Ms Kamishirasawa said. "Like the school in the human village." She would know what they were like, being a teacher there. From what we had heard of the outside world, the way their schools were run might have been slightly different from ours.

"In that case," came a voice. "How about I volunteer..." Ehhhhh? Sister would volunteer for something like this? "...my sister."

"EHHHH?" I practically screamed, ceasing to be invisible and drawing the attention of everyone. "I OBJECT!

Ms Reimu calmly took a sip of her tea and commented, "Objection overruled. Hosts always get the final say, and today it's my duty to be the host, so I might as well put that power to good use."

"But... but... butbutbutbutbutbut SISTER WHYYYY? WHY SISTER WHY?"

"Simply put, I think it'll be entertaining for you."

I pouted like a young child about to throw a tantrum, and sprinted off into the forest.


'Yukari-decided-to-involve-everyone-in-a-war-for-fun' incident - Sengoku Gensokyo, cool fangame.

"Inversely proportionate" - I was learning this in Math class.

"I OBJECT!" "Objection overruled." - Joke from one of my teachers.

I'm trying to make it humourous, is it working? By the way, I wrote the majority of this on my phone.