Kala looked up, the rain splattering against the window relentlessly as the winds howled their song. The sounds of a guitar began playing and she shifted her eyes down to the worn katana in front of her, lightly tracing the sharp metal with a feather-light touch, almost reminiscent gaze back to the howling storm outside the window. A man's voice drifted through the room, singing a mournful song that begged someone to see how much pain it held.
"Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in."
Her mind instantly flashed back to the memories of her childhood days filled with longing looks and suffocating silence. They wouldn't go near her for the fear of doing something wrong, just because her parents were infamous criminals. They had treated her like a ticking time-bomb, careful and delicate but still wary enough to keep a distance. No one had wanted to be her friend for the fear she would cunningly poison them and their minds, just like what her mother did to anyone who dared to cross her.
"If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?"
She had tried to tell them that she wasn't dangerous, that she had only wanted someone to share a bond with her. She wasn't dangerous. She wasn't her parents. But no one would listen, because they all knew it was a lie. She was raised to kill, assassinate silently and leaving no trace. Her parents had trained her in the dark ways of the underground world, took her with them in their 'missions'.
Kala dropped her gaze back to her weapon, used to kill so many people and forever tainted with the phantom begs of her victims and fresh blood, no matter how hard or frequent she cleaned it. She couldn't forget their terrified faces, their accusing horrified eyes. Their pleas and shouts of hate haunted her dreams, turned them into a nightmare.
"Can I clear my conscience, if I'm different from the rest?
Do I have to run and hide?"
She had tried to escape from her parents' clutches, to another village so that she could start again as a new canvas. The loneliness was too much, too suffocating and she had been desperate. But her parents had connections everywhere and they hunted her down like a bloodhound sniffing out its prey. She dearly payed the consequences, the memory of her punishment forever engraved in her mind. She didn't try to escape her chains after that.
"I'm only a man with a chamber who's got me, I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me."
Now, she was all grown-up and independent, making a name for herself. She didn't have to rely on her parents, didn't have to see them but their unforgettable influences and education were unable to be erased from her life. She had grown into a criminal, an assassin of the highest caliber like her parents. She tried to become something else but it was clear that it wouldn't work, her parents' work leaving a permanent mark.
Her shoulders sagged down with this thought, eyes screaming with silent agony and sorrow. Kala wasn't normal, never was and never would be. She wouldn't be able to form a bond with someone, a thought that burned her chest and twisted her heart. But she had long accepted it, resigned to the fact that she was as heartless as the rumours say. That she could only kill and hate. Nothing more, nothing less.
"A monster, a monster, I've turned into a monster. A monster, a monster, and it keeps getting stronger." The muffled lyrical whisper melded into the silence, her face hidden in her hands and silent tears streaming down her face.
She had turned into a monster.
I do not own the song "Monster" by Imagine Dragons.
