Not The Kid He Used To Be
As a general rule, Sam didn't like bars. When he was a kid, bars were used for hustling pool and poker, and on more then one occasion his father and brother had come home beaten and bruised after hustling the wrong person. When he was at Stanford, he went out with his friends to the bars in the neighbourhood, but he nursed one beer all night, never drinking enough to cloud his mind. He may not be a hunter anymore, but he knew what happened to people that didn't pay attention to what was lurking around him, maybe that is why he never quite fit in there either. Tonight he didn't care, he left a note with Dean, telling him he was going out and that he would be back whenever he damned well pleased. Dean had been clingy ever since Jessica had died, and Sam just needed a few hours alone. So he went to the bar, and started drinking, he wasn't drunk but he was definitely more buzzed then he would normally let himself get. After all he was drinking whiskey, instead of beer tonight.
"And here I always thought you were the Winchester who didn't drink his trouble away." Sam turned towards the voice and frowned, it was Caleb Reaves.
"Last time you saw me I wasn't even legal, what do you know about my drinking habits?" Caleb sat down beside Sam and ordered a beer.
"Well that wasn't the warm welcome I was expecting after 3 years."
"Why because of my winning charm every other day?" Sam downed the rest of the drink in front of him and ordered another one. "Why are you here?"
"I felt Dean's distress, I was close anyway doing some stuff for TriCorp. Then as I was driving by here I felt you being all broody, so I decided to come say hi."
"Well hi, we are staying at the Blue Creek Inn room 14. Can you leave now?" Caleb looked at the kid sitting in front of him. Sam was a nineteen year old kid last time he had saw him, now he was definitely more man than boy. Dark stubble covered his jaw, and dark smudges were forming under his eyes. Caleb sighed. Sam was not the kid he used to be.
"Look Runt, I'm sorry about Jessica, and I'm sorry that you got dragged back into this world." Sam laughed at that.
"No you aren't. I am exactly where everyone wanted me. You, Dad, Jim, Mac, you all wanted me here. Want me to slip on that ring and slide right back into line, wait for my next order from Sergeant Winchester." Caleb twisted the silver ring on his finger, the one that made everyone in the Brotherhood family; Sam had gotten his at sixteen but had never put it on.
"You're right Sammy." Sam looked surprised. "We didn't want you to go, but it had nothing to do with keeping you in the Brotherhood. You were our youngest, and it was out job to protect you. We couldn't face the fact you were growing up, especially Dean and me. And I didn't want to see Deuce get hurt. So I am sorry, maybe we needed to grow up a little too." Sam sighed and put down his glass.
"I don't know how to do this anymore. I need to find my dad, and find Jessica's killer, but I can't be that same kid who left 4 years ago. I need you guys to trust me."
"We always trusted you. Jesus kid, I am twelve years older then you, but I trust you with my life. It can't be the same as it was, and I am sorry it can't be." Sam frowned and looked up at Caleb.
"Why are you sorry it can't be? Because you can't boss me around anymore?" Caleb smirked.
"We will always boss Runt, you will always be a kid to me. I'm sorry, because we can't protect you anymore. I am sorry that this war has finally affected you in a way you can remember." Sam thought on that for a minute. Thinking of the times before he didn't know about monsters, and the fact that Caleb and Dean already had memories of there loved ones dying around them. Sam now knew what that felt like, and that hurt more then he could have ever imagined.
"I'm sorry about that too." Sam confessed. He downed the rest of his drink, then put some money on the bar. "I walked here, so are you gonna give me a ride."
"Sure Runt, but you are paying for the pizza tonight." Caleb messed up Sam's hair and Sam frowned.
"Would you stop calling me Runt? I am taller then all of you now."
"Dude, I changed your diapers, and you once threw up baby food all down my back, I can call you whatever the hell I want." Sam smirked and got into the passenger seat of Caleb's car.
"So give me a psychic reading on Dean, how pissed off is he right now?"
"You'll live." Sam smiled, he would have to get used to the fact his apple pie life was over, there was no going back, but at least he knew his family would always be there for him, no matter how much bad he screwed up, they would always be there to protect him.
"I am so telling Dean about the chick flick moment you pulled back at that bar." Caleb glared at the younger man and slapped him upside the head.
"You will do no such thing you little brat." Sam laughed, and for just a moment his heart didn't feel so heavy.
