how she used to be
Every time we were in the same room, it seemed glaringly apparent to me; Weiss was special. Every time she spoke, I would stop and listen, it didn't matter what I was working on, Crescent Rose would be there when I would come back, she would understand. I listened because it seemed a crime to do anything else. To ignore the graceful singing swan before me would be akin to ignoring a triple rainbow while the sun sets over the serene Mistrali beaches. Her words all had a purpose, no breath was wasted, and as such every word was worth listening to, regardless of my infatuation.
It wasn't just how she sounded, it was even more so what she said. Whenever she scolded me, I never felt the words as scathing as people described them, I never felt the harsh sting that others complained of. All I felt was a warmth within me, for I knew that she cared. She wouldn't expend so much energy on calling me a dunce if she didn't.
She was also stunningly beautiful, in a mature sort of way, far from the appeal she mustered in the first year of Beacon. Growing not only in height but also adding extra confidence to boot. When I couldn't take care of the team properly, she would always step in without me saying a word. She was the unofficial second in command, and I think she preferred it that way, without having expectation weighing on her with every step, while still being able to make a difference.
She always cared so much, cared about the way she talked, how she presented herself, how she looked before each day. Most of all, she cared about every one of us, even when we didn't deserve it. She would be icy, surely, but that would never stop her from helping us when we needed it. She was always selfless like that, even if she would never show you that part of her voluntarily.
She cared too much at times, she would do things like stay up all night helping me complete projects that I didn't put enough effort into in class. When we would go out on partner-based missions she would always insist that I get the last of our rations, and if I refused she would find some way of tricking me into taking it. I would always somehow end up with the majority share of the blanket when we were lying together. She would always end up taking hits or overextending for me when I got sloppy. She usually had the aura to back it up, until she didn't.
It just happens like that sometimes. There's not much of anything you can do about it or do to prepare for it. You can't tell them goodbye on every mission, so you're only left to say it when it's too late⦠always too late.
A stray Beowulf claw, a misplaced Ursa tusk, maybe an unexpected Nevermore, all would lead to the same result. It happened with my mother, happened with Yang during the third year, and now it was happening again, this time right in front of my eyes. There wasn't much I could do, other than sit and wait, watch it happen, accept the inevitable, after all it always seems that way. No matter how hard you try, you will fail, and you will fail when the people you care about need you the most, it's been the truth of my family for as long as I can remember.
It almost made me sad, almost made the tear slipping down my face mean something. Almost. I couldn't feel much of anything to be honest. Does that make me a bad person? If it does I can't find it in myself to care. Too much has happened for me to be affected the same way I used to be.
I've come to accept my fate to walk Remnant alone, for the Reaper has no one, she is the master of death, and as such shouldn't expect to have the things that normal people can have. Shouldn't expect happiness. Doesn't deserve happiness. And that's how it should be, she's better off like that after all, I like to think.
