When Fitz bent over to hold me as I lay in my hospital bed, for a moment I couldn't breath, I couldn't think of anything else except for, how did he know Jake? Please God, please don't let it be that I was supposed to be seduced as payback. Did he hate me that much? No, no Fitz would never do that but he had me watched. Why? Why was I being watched and how much did Jake know about our relationship? My mind finally shut down as I couldn't contain the million thoughts warring in my head. What and how much did Jake know about me and Fitz, or the conversations I had with Cyrus, or the conversations in my head where I answered myself out loud? How long did Jake witness my depression over desperately loving someone who hated me?

I felt smothered. Unsure of Fitz's part in any of this I stayed quiet and just lay there while he held me, stroking my hand or my face. For hours, neither of us saying anything as nurses made rounds checking on me making sure I didn't fall asleep due to the severity of my concussion. But as my mind began to calm down I then felt violated in a way like no other. This was the second time Fitz had me watched and that filled me with a hot white anger I've rarely felt. So, I let him have it. I felt a violence in me as he continued to tell me that he still loved me. I refuted that sentiment vigorously. That having me watched wasn't love, that it was all about control, distrust and betrayal. Betrayal, the same word he used on me about Defiance. I was so enraged that I threw whatever I had in front of me at him. He left, giving me time to calm down but I knew that whatever discussion that Fitz and I was going to have, it would happen sooner than later.