"What Was Lost May Be Found"

Summary: "She had been gone less than a day but in that moment it already felt like years." After returning from Carthage, Dean battles with the guilt deep inside his heart. Victory hangs in the balance and the loss of Jo consumes him. While Dean is determined to suffer in silence, he receives some unexpected messages of hope to guide him. Takes place after Season 5's Abandon All Hope. AU Multi chapter story for Dean & Jo.

AN: Title credits belong to Lifehouse's Jason Wade and Jude Anthony Cole for their song

"It Is What It Is". This is my first Supernatural story and of course I had to write for D/J.

Many thanks to Mali Bear's Buddy and Sophie6 for supporting me and taking my ideas to a whole other level.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural characters featured here.

Chapter 1

A storm was coming. Dark clouds rolled through the night sky and thunder rumbled in loud claps. Gusts of wind overpowered Dean's body with hurricane like forces. As he ran down the deserted street, he heard the sounds of invisible growling gaining on him. He dared not turn around and look back. His eyes searched for Sam, Bobby, anyone. The shotgun in his hand grew heavier with every step but he couldn't stop. He had to keep running.

The road was endless and his calls for help went unanswered. He was being chased down by hellhounds. Possibly the one creature that struck fear inside of Dean Winchester. He had felt their wrath before, his body mauled and cut open for them to devour. No, he would never let that happen again. He would run for his life, never surrendering to their hunger. The hunter had become the hunted.

Something about his surroundings seemed familiar and it chilled up his spine. His instinct told him he'd been here before. It wasn't something he could see. The buildings looked like they belonged in any other town he'd driven through before. The windows were dark holes, not a light of hope to be found. No abandoned cars left behind where he could take shelter and hide. It was just a feeling that he couldn't shake off.

Just when he believed he had gained some distance, Dean screamed in pain. A hellhound tore into his ankle and took him down. He rolled onto his back and felt its hot breath on his face. He tried to focus on the sounds of snarling but they seemed to be everywhere at once. He pumped the shotgun and aimed at thin air. When he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Just the sound of a hollow click.

"This would be a really good time to wake up." Dean muttered as he smacked himself in the face.

Of course it proved fruitless and left nothing behind but a stinging cheek. He slowly started to crawl away, but the hounds pounced. No one was here to intervene this time. Their claws tore into his side, his blood sprayed up to his face. Dean cried out and threw his head back. The flesh burned like fire but he covered the wounds with shaking hands. He was defenseless and could do nothing but wait for whatever came next. Dean looked above into the darkness and prayed for the night to end.

When all he heard was silence, Dean let himself breathe and slowly opened his eyes. Who was there waiting for him gave the truest testimony that heaven may be in his future after all. Jo stood over him in a flowing white dress, sunshine illuminated her face. She had been gone less than a day but in that moment it already felt like years. The hellhounds had vanished and Jo smiled down on Dean.

"Jo? Where am I?" Dean asked, as he tried again to find something familiar. He felt around his body for injuries but found no trace of the attack. He laughed and started to push himself up off the street. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw the sign of a hardware store. His mind was overrun with questions.

"It can't be…" Dean started to say.

"I think you know." She answered for him, her hand held out for him to take into hers. Just as his fingertips graced her palm, it slipped out of his grasp. Jo's smile faded as her arms fell to her sides. They both watched in terror as jagged slashes sliced her dress into ribbons. The blood seeped through, staining the pristine fabric dark and red.

"Dean? Why didn't you save me?" Jo pleaded, tears and anguish formed in her eyes.

"Jo, I tried. What's going on around here?" Dean yelled out, his face knotted in turmoil.

Frozen in place, he could do nothing but watch as Jo's eyes rolled back and her lifeless body collapsed to the ground. He tried to move his legs and gather her into an embrace but his body betrayed him. His rising panic was silenced by a sudden explosion that lifted him into the air. The impact threw him down with a crash and Dean lost consciousness.

"Dean. Dean, wake up!"

Dean jumped up from the dream with a gasp as Sam shook his shoulders. His face and clothes were drenched in sweat. It took a moment to look around and remember where he was. He must have passed out on Bobby's couch after the drive back to South Dakota. Dean reached to the windows above him, peeked through its curtain, and revealed the afternoon sun. He cursed, wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt, and swung his legs over to sit up.

"Nightmare?" Sam wondered.

"I'm fine, okay." He can see the shot glasses still overturned on the table. The same table she had leaned on and laughed with Ellen and Cas. The kitchen where he asked her to spend their last night on earth together. Dean remembered how her soft lips flirted and smiled back at him. It took every ounce of willpower not to take her in his arms and crush those lips with his own.

Even when Jo rejected his offer, he tried to play it cool and indifferent. On the inside, he secretly admired that she stood up for herself. Ever since River Pass, Dean realized how much Jo had changed since their unresolved goodbye in Duluth. Her confidence as a hunter had grown but Jo could always see right through him. He exhaled a deep breath as he got up in search of his duffel bag and weapons.

"Where are you going?" The younger brother asked and folded his arms.

"I can't be here right now. I gotta get outta here. Sam, get your stuff." Dean ordered as he quickly rolled his clothes into his bag.

"But don't you think we need to come up with a new plan, Dean." Sam argued with confusion.

"Then stay here with Bobby and plan but I have to go. Anywhere but here." Dean responded as he grabbed the Colt and his jacket from the table.

Dean walked to the fireplace, his bag slung over his shoulder, ready to go. Their commemorative picture was reduced to nothing but ash. He closed his eyes and saw them standing side by side. Her brave face and his hand firm around her shoulder. Holding on to her as tight as he could, protecting her even then. He couldn't save Jo, not even on his dream, and now he had to accept that she was gone forever. Dean turned away as fast as he could and rushed out the front door. He had an apocalypse to stop. Yet, there was something he needed to do before anything else.

"Typical." Sam muttered under his breath and searched the nearest drawer for a sheet of paper. Sam wouldn't stay behind and leave Dean alone. They were in this together. He didn't have time to find Bobby and his voice of reason. Sam quickly wrote a note for him and threw his clothes and laptop into his bag.

Bobby-

Decided to hit the road early. Come up with a new plan, I guess. We'll be back. Thanks. For everything.

Sam

Dean was already behind the wheel of the Impala when Sam closed the front door behind him, bag in hand. Dean banged on the horn and revved the engine.

"Let's go!" Dean yelled as he turned on some AC/DC and slipped on his shades. Sam slid into the usual passenger seat, took out his laptop, and threw his duffel into the back.

"So, I think I might have an idea…." Sam started to say as the laptop powered up. He knew the ambush at Jasper's farm was still fresh in Dean's mind. One look at him now was all the proof Sam needed. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. This road trip was their only opportunity to talk it out and move on. No matter how many walls Dean put up and bottled everything in.

"Dean, we need to talk about last night…" Sam attempted to break the ice but Dean shot him a look to back off. He naturally took the back roads out of Sioux Falls, along the river. Dirt flew up in their wake as the Impala raced through the quickest way out of town. They sped further and further away from Bobby's and Sam faced a ticking time bomb.

"There's nothing to talk about. It's part of the job. There's just something I got to do first." Dean answered as he turned onto the highway entrance he was looking for.

"Interstate 29? South? Dean, where are we going?" Sam asked as he held onto the door handle while Dean swerved erratically in and out of traffic. Even though he already knew the answer, Sam needed to hear Dean say the words out loud.

With his eyes focused on the horizon, Dean answered, "We're going back to Carthage."