Fail Shepard
Ashley reached for Shepard's cheek and the commander could feel their breath mingling. "Uh, L.C., no offense, but you're uh, not my type."
Ashley pulled away, mortified. "I—wait, what's your type?"
"Um…Blue."
"Shepard?"
"Li?"
"What is that doing in your apartment?"
"Oh Traynor needed a place to put her trophy."
"Oh I see."
*crash*
"Real mature, Li."
"I'll replace the window."
Shepard tried not to stare, but come on!
"Shepard," Liara hissed in warning, flaring in biotics.
"Oh come on!" Shepard gestured toward Miranda's backside. "Look at the thing!"
"So, Tali, when are we gonna do that suit link thing?"
"I-I," the quarian stammered. "I assumed you were with Liara."
"I am. I'm just hella curious to see what you look like."
"Bosh'tet."
"Fine, I'll get you drunk."
"Hmm, no, Commander, I don't believe that's possible."
"Are you sure, Doc?."
Dr. Chakwas shook her head. "No, Commander, I don't believe Liara can get you pregnant."
