I'm not quite sure what this is yet - maybe a OneShot, or maybe not - but i got the idea and ran with it. It's AU with probably some OOCness but i don't think it's so much so that it's hard to read lol So read it and tell me what you think :)

(Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece)

Fear and Numbness

She felt numb. Everything from her fingertips to her heart felt completely and utterly lifeless. There was nothing left for her here. She just wanted to get away – far, far away where the absorbent numbness could no longer reach her. And all it would take was one small step. One step forward would bring her to this far, far away place. It would all be over if she could just take that one little, insignificant step.

Wind whipped about her body as she stood on the ledge of her high school. It wasn't necessarily that she wanted to do this here of all places, but this was the highest place she could think of that was relatively close to her home.

Well…home might not be the best word. Building that she lived in was more accurate, or place she slept, maybe. Whatever you wanted to call it, home was most definitely incorrect. It was not a home. There were no warm and fuzzy feelings for her there, no happiness waiting for her to come back, no family to care for her.

She was alone.

Alone.

Always alone.

It had been that way since she was a child. She had no parents, so she was shifted from relative to relative, and each new place she got sent to never wanted to keep her for long. She wasn't their kid, so why should they put up with her? Moving from place to place, until finally she decided she would just run away and live on her own.

Twelve is no age to be living on the streets, but she always managed to find a way to persevere. She learned how to survive, how to steal, how to cheat, and how to screw people over – but that wasn't living.

What she wanted – because even vicious and heartless street-rats like her had dreams – was to learn as much as possible and become an archeologist. Granted, that was a very odd dream to have, but living a cold and hard life hadn't taken away her love of learning. Since childhood, learning had been something she had loved. Reading about faraway places, breathing in all the information she could find about famous and not-so-famous explorers, thinking about nothing but becoming like those who had dedicated their lives to uncovering ancient civilizations and the like.

She wanted that. Robin wanted the adventure, and the excitement, and the wonderful experiences, and until recently, she thought it could be possible.

Despite living on the streets, she managed to enroll herself into junior high and high school by faking a few important documents and getting a few people who owed her favors to act as her parents. She learned as much as she could about everything, and never passed up an opportunity that presented itself to her. So now she was a junior in high school with grades at the top of her class…she was so close to completing this first step on her way towards her dream but the world, it seemed, didn't want her to have even the smallest bit of happiness.

She made a mistake. A huge mistake.

Robin got involved with some pretty bad people – and we're not talking petty crooks and thieves this time. The head honcho of the area had taken an interest in her and gave her an offer she couldn't refuse.

His street name was Crocodile – and it was said that if you ever found out his real name, you would be dead within the hour. He's got a hand in everything (or maybe you should say hook because in place of one of his hands was a sharpened hook, like the villain in those fairytales). Politics, drugs, trafficking, gang relations – you name it, Crocodile's got it under his control.

When he approached Robin – offered her a nice apartment and plenty of funds to keep her going – she couldn't refuse…even if it was in exchange for her services that she'd acquired over the years.

She started down in the low ranks. Even with her local notoriety, she started from the bottom. Robin followed her orders and did what she was told and eventually made it pretty far up the food chain.

But now she was in over her head.

She was never one to care for others – hell she could honestly say that she never thought about others unless it was how she could use them to her advantage – but what Crocodile was asking her to do this time was too much.

She was a renowned thief and became an expert at sending the boss's messages, but she couldn't become a murderer. She was not a killer.

She refused.

So now, here she was, standing on the ledge of her high school building, looking at her way out.

She knew that she couldn't run – Crocodile could find her, no matter where in the world she tried to hide. This was her only option.

The worst part of everything was that damned numbness. Her years on the streets and on her own had taught her not to feel. Not to have any emotion. Not to care.

And now it was biting her in the ass.

She felt nothing, even though she was one step away from ending her miserable life. Her heart was just as dead as the night was, uncaring that the number of beats it had left were quickly dwindling.

Her peculiar blue eyes glanced upward, but found that the skies were overcast and ugly. There weren't any stars out tonight, nor was the moon bright enough to shine through the damned marine layer. As much as she hated those clouds, they described her perfectly. It was as though some of those thick obscuring clouds had found their way into her body, blocking off her ability to feel.

Wind pressed lightly against her body, making her loose clothes and hair ripple about freely. The wind only helped the numbness – working on her fingers and physical body, making it match her insides. She was numb inside and out.

Robin looked down.

"It'll be easy," she said to herself, her voice devoid of real emotion. Her voice sounded akin to those fake ones that you always heard in those late night infomercials, she mused to herself. "Just one step forward."

Her barefoot left the rough concrete of the school's roof and hovered over the weightless air in front of her.

"Do you think you can fly?" a boyish voice suddenly broke through the numb and lifeless night.

One of the skills that Robin prided herself in was never losing her composure – but she had to admit, that curious voice had almost caught her off guard. Her foot quickly retreated from the open air and came back to the concrete ledge to rest beside her other one.

She looked over her shoulder and saw none other than the famous freshman, Luffy sitting cross-legged beside the door that led back into the school. Even in the murky night she could tell that it was him – the whole school knew his large grin and that overly optimistic face. He was just a mere freshman, but somehow managed to catch the eye of even the older juniors and seniors who usually didn't associate with the younger students unless they had to.

This Luffy kid had quite the reputation – making friends with the weirdest of kids, picking fights with the toughest thugs, causing a ruckus everywhere he went, failing every class he took – but no matter what he did, he always had that stupid smile on his face.

That smile made Robin angry. What could he possibly have to smile about in this town? This place sucked the souls out of everyone in it, no matter what their station in life was. So why the hell should he get to smile like that when there was so much goddamned misery surrounding us everywhere we looked?

"You should leave," She said with her emotionless voice.

He just smiled and stared at her, "Why should I do that? It's nice up here."

She felt her composure starting to crack – this kid annoyed her to no end. "Fine then – just don't interfere." It wasn't her fault if he happened to see something he couldn't un-see…maybe seeing her battered body hit the pavement below would wipe that smile from his face.

Robin turned her head to face forward once again. She took a slow breath to help rebuild her composure and then let it out, just as slowly. She let her eyes close, not wanting the last thing she sees to be the ugly city, and tried to imagine one of the pictures from her travel book. Somewhere surrounded by green forests and towering mountains. A vast blue sky that housed billions of stars once the sun passed the horizon. A place where there was no one but herself. Beautiful solitude.

Her heart gave an odd pang, but the numbness quickly swallowed it. She wasn't allowed to have feelings. She didn't deserve it. She had been mistaken – unwanted street-rats like her didn't get to have dreams. She wasn't worthy of hope, joy, or happiness. She didn't deserve easy or safe. Forget about bonds or friendships – and don't even think the word love.

None of that concerned worthless street-rats like her.

Once again, her foot left the cement ledge that surrounded the roof of the building. It was just a small little edge – maybe a foot tall or less and about six inches wide that ran around the roof of the school.

Just one step and it could be finished.

"You know – I know you," that same boyish voice spoke again, this time sounding a little closer than before.

Robin let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Well good for you."

"You're always alone in the library – I don't go there because it's boring, but I always see you through the window." Robin heard the notorious freshman's shuffling steps as he came closer and closer.

"Why does that concern you?" she asked coldly.

He gave a peculiar laugh, "Shishishi, I guess it doesn't – but my friend Franky is in your class as well and he says you've got the best grades."

"And?" Robin sighed. He was interrupting her plans for such trivial things as this?

"Why do you study and read so much? It doesn't look like much fun."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, "Someone who doesn't care about his grades, wouldn't understand."

"Shishishi, but you should still answer me. Why do you study so hard?"

Robin sighed again, but continued to face forward with her eyes closed, "It doesn't matter anymore. I realized my mistake – all of my studying has proven to be useless now."

"Why?" he asked, his boyish voice sounding like a curious five year old.

She didn't know why she even bothered to answer, but Robin found the words leaving her lips without her consent, "Because sometimes, no matter how hard you work for or want something, the world tells you 'No'."

Robin heard him hum in thought, "Hmm, but if you stop fighting, you'll prove the world right."

Robin let out an annoyed breath and repeated, "This has nothing to do with you – as you can see, I have somewhere important to be."

Incredibly, the grinning idiot laughed again, "Shishishi, so you're going to jump just because you were told 'no'? You're funny."

Her brows creased, but she didn't rise to his bait – she kept facing forward no matter how much she wanted to turn and start arguing with him. "If I don't do it myself, someone else will probably come for me shortly – and their way of sending me to the next life won't be so quick."

His chuckling laughter stopped and he asked with a strangely solemn voice, "Someone's trying to kill you?"

Robin sighed again, "They will once they realize that I've disobeyed orders…I became one of Crocodile's dogs, but this time I didn't play fetch. Once he sees that my target is still alive and breathing, he'll send someone after me immediately. Crocodile does not tolerate disobedience."

The famous freshman stayed silent for once, but Robin could tell that he was thinking. She would have genuinely laughed if she remembered how – how ironic that the day she decides to disappear, someone finally takes notice of her. And now he was even thinking seriously because of something she said despite the boy's undoubted difficulty with serious thought and logic.

Finally Luffy let out a breath, "So why don't you just fight him? That always works for me when I have a problem."

This time Robin couldn't keep her gaze forward. She spun around and stared indignantly at the idiotic boy, "Crocodile is hardly someone you or I could fight. He's got hordes of followers and lackeys that will obey his every command – how the hell am I supposed to oppose that?"

He tapped at his chin, like you always saw in the cartoons, and then finally broke out into one of his famous ear-to-ear grins, "So let me handle it – all I gotta do is beat him up."

Robin just stared at him. How could he say something to bold and reckless with that silly grin on his face? What was wrong with this damn kid?

"I know you have a reputation for getting into fights and beating the odds, but Crocodile isn't one of those mindless thugs that you and your little crew of friends get into it with. He's the ring-leader of this whole god-forsaken town – he won't just beat the shit out of you. You'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere, but that won't be the end of it. Crocodile will go after any family, friends, or even acquaintances and probably burry them along with you. Kids like you shouldn't even joke about things like that."

His smile lessened and his large brown eyes suddenly focused seriously on Robin, "You're just as much a kid as I am – so what makes it okay for you to be involved in this? Is two years more of life really that much of a difference?"

"It's not age that makes you a kid – it's what you've gone through in life that takes away that title. I was never privileged enough to be considered a kid, as so, I have lived a life that's taken me farther away from that small title." Robin sighed and shifted her weight – she was still standing on the ledge, but now her back was facing the freefall if she chose to lean backwards.

Luffy kept up his serious gaze that looked unfamiliar on his facial features. "So jumping off the high school building is going to fix all your problems?"

"In a way, yes. I won't have to wait for Crocodile to come for me and deal with me. I won't have to worry anymore about whether or not I can accomplish my dream. I won't have to succumb to stealing and backstabbing to survive anymore. By dying on my own terms, I'll save a lot of people from being troubled – I won't be here anymore to betray them."

Luffy crossed his tightly muscled arms over his chest, seemingly immune to the small chill of the night air despite being clad in shorts and a sleeveless red shirt. "If you're worried about other people getting hurt because of you, why don't you just stop hurting them?"

Robin gave a humorless smile, "I don't know any other way to live. This is what I've been doing since I was young – taking advantage of others in order to benefit myself. That's who I am, despite any notions I have of wanting to change. People like me can't change – it's impossible."

"I don't understand you…" Luffy sighed and scratched his head, "If you want to change, just do it. If you want something, go after it. If you can't do something alone, ask for help."

"Life isn't that simple," Robin said. She let her eyes close. The numbness had lessened for a bit, but the fog inside of her heart was starting to thicken once again. Ask for help? How could she possibly do that? She'd only cause more problems for more people, and even if she wanted to do that, who would she ask? She had no one. No family, no friends, not even acquaintances. Just Crocodile and all the people she's screwed over in the last five years or so. There was no one to help her, even if she did ask for help.

"You're wrong. Life is that simple – and killing yourself because you think you have no other choice is stupid. So what if this Crocodile guy kills you? If you die because you decided to go after something you want, you should be happy. It would be better to die for something important than to die because you gave up before you had to."

His words acted like an arrow and pierced straight through her heart. It managed to fend off some of the numbness for a split second, and Robin found herself wavering.

Maybe…maybe she didn't have to die…maybe her dream of adventure and excitement could still be possible…

Robin slowly opened her eyes again, and stared blankly at the raven-haired boy.

"Don't you want to live? Don't you want to fight for what's important to you? Don't you want to prove the world wrong for telling you 'no'?"

Robin's lower lip started to tremble.

What is this? What's wrong with me? Am I seriously starting to cry because of this kid's words?

But that wasn't right – this boy technically wasn't a kid either. She could tell by the ferocity with which he spoke these crucial words. He was like her – he had been stripped of the title of 'Kid' long ago, but seemed to be fighting with everything he had to take it back.

Her eyes stung and for the first time since her days being shipped back and forth from relative to relative; she felt the murky clouds that kept her heart emotionless and contained starting to dissipate completely. A tear broke through her defense and she suddenly shouted with anger, fear and frustration all once. "Of course I want to live! I do! I want to fight for my stupid dream and prove that I'm not worthless to everyone who treated me that way! But if I do that…if I do that…" she was crying now and let her sentence dissolve in sobs.

If she did that, she would be going into some unknown world and nothing would change, would it? Wouldn't she be alone as always? Wouldn't she still have to struggle to survive, even harder than she did now?

The truth, she realized, was that she was scared.

Scared.

Scared to fight back. Scared to decided that she was worth something. Scared because she doubted that it could be done. Scared of the unknown that awaited her.

Her hands covered her face, trying to hide all the tears and sobs that were escaping. She felt stupid for crying – she hadn't cried in years, and surely had never cried in front of someone else before – but there she was, standing on the edge of the high school roof, crying her heart out in front of a complete stranger.

A hand, callused and scarred, grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward. Just as his words had pulled her away from her decision to kill herself, so had his actions. Luffy pulled her away from the ledge, and back onto the flat surface of the high school roof.

"Come with me then," he said with his grin audible in his voice, "You're just like the rest of us."


So? Interesting? Decent? Horrible? You should tell me haha

Do you think i should keep this going?