Hej hej! Something new I wanted to try - it's not smut - a sort of abstract...actually, I have no idea what it is. Take from it what you will.

DISCLAIMER- I don't own anything! If I did, then Cloud would be so sweet your teeth would fall out.

TRIGGER WARNINGS- Anorexia, self-harm, anxiety, depression (this is to save my ass.)

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NEVER FORGET, I LOVE YOU

It happens more often than you would like to admit.

Once every few weeks - or if things were bad, once every few days - you are unable to contain the swirling storm of emotions inside you. They'd rush out in a torrent, and you'll break in my arms.

But even if you can't control when it happens, you have always been able to control where.

You help out with the Heartless infestation in Traverse Town, and you refused to show emotion when on patrol or in the company of others. But when you're alone, in the safety of our own home, you would curl up and cry. I take no joy in your pain, but I feel privellaged that I am able to witness a side of you that nobody else is allowed to see.

You scold yourself, calling yourself 'pathetic', 'useless' or 'spineless'. It is something I hate seeing you do to this to yourself, but you cry and silent sobs wrack your small frame, and if the burden of your emotions become too heavy and crying was not enough, you would resort to other measures to release the agony that your stony façade does not allow you to convey.

It was a sight that I never want to see again, and from that day forward, I'd vowed to never let you break alone.

I'd come home late and I'd found you lying on the bathroom floor, covered in blood. You'd taken a knife to your wrists and hips, slicing deep into your pale flesh and the blood would spill just like your own tears.

I'd spent the whole night with you in hospital, holding your frail hand in my own. I love you so much, and I refuse to let you be torn away from me like this.

The recovery has been a long, painful process and is still ongoing. You have so many issues that you became overwhealmed and cried so much. I hold nothing against you, for I cried too. I cried for you, because I was so helpless and unable to take your pain away from you. I wanted to much to wrap you up and shield you from the demons of your past, to make you forget about Sephiroth and SOLDIER and Hades and just let you know that I love you so much and I will never let you go.

But the scars will never fade, physical and psychological.

Your self-esteem is still so low, and every day we work towards bringing it up again so you can feel comfortable and confident again. Your depression and anxiety lingers, clinging on like a tumor that never leaves. I help you control it, to keep yourself suspended above the darkness that threatens to consume you.

But is is your anorexia has been the hardest to overcome, and to this day, you're in a constant battle with yourself.

But baby, never forget I love you.

To me, you're the most beautiful thing to ever walk into my life, and while you may think of yourself as a dirty, broken man, your flaws are what make you beautiful.

You're gorgeous, baby. When you smile, you're so beautiful it hurts to look at you. When I tell you so, the cutest blush appears on your flawless cheeks and you hide yourself behind your wing, saying that you don't deserve such compliments.

Baby, you deserve every good thing that exists.

Two years after the night I nearly lost you, we made love. It was beautiful and tender and you came apart in my arms and you let me piece you back together.

Now, it's been three years since that night. You're still young, and at twenty-three years old you've experienced more than many ever will in their lifetimes.

But remember, baby, that I am always here for you.

Never forget that I love you.

ÐÐÐÐÐ

I am going to hide now and possibly write some porn.