A/N: Hello! This is part of my Bending the Universe 'verse and has been littering up my brain for months. Lets see how River likes someone from the Doctor's future after her, shall we?

Also, still accepting prompts for this 'verse...

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It all started with a mysterious empty mug in the galley sink one morning. Amy was the first one to notice it and only because normally only four different mugs were used on the TARDIS: a solid sea green one by Rory, a TARDIS blue by River, a crimson one with black flower pattern by Amy herself and a black-and-white number with a simplified rose pattern by the Doctor (the Doctor seemed to love roses, what with all the rose themed things he had).

The mysterious mug was light pink with intricate rose designs on it in a darker shade. It sat in the sink innocently when Amy shuffled in, yawning, and dressed in a blue silk morning gown. She didn't really notice it until the tea was ready and Rory was frying their eggs.

"Hey," she said, looking at her husband over her shoulder. "Did you use a different mug last night?"

"No, and the TARDIS would have washed it during the night if I had," he answered without looking up from the eggs, adding a pinch of salt.

"That's weird," frowned Amy, eventually shrugging, assuming it had been the Doctor even if pink wasn't really his style.

The second strange thing they found (on the same day too) was a mauve quilt in the library by the fire, because Amy and Rory shared a tartan patterned quilt and neither River nor the Doctor used quilts. Something about superior physiology and controlling their body temperature. This time Amy asked the Doctor about it but he said the TARDIS sometimes did things like that and not to pay it any heed. He looked at the quilt with sad eyes, like it had belonged to someone he knew a long time ago, and Amy saw him hit the TARDIS wall and ask her what she was thinking, bringing it out, like it was some important relic of someone very important.

The next evening the wet tracks were the last straw to Amy. The four of them had been on an adventure the whole day so Amy knew it couldn't be any of them, and she dragged the Doctor by his suspenders to investigate. The tracks led to a new door none of them had seen before. There was noise coming from inside and when it abruptly changed from talking to music, Amy guessed it came from some kind of TV.

The Doctor opened the door and poked his head inside and stopped, making it impossible for Amy, Rory and River to see inside too.

"Dad!" she heard a surprised yelp from inside. "What are you doing here? You promised I could spend the week on my own in the TARDIS!"

Dad? Amy mouthed at Rory who shrugged while the Doctor tensed in the doorway.

"Dad? Why'd you call me dad?" he asked the still unseen girl.

"'Cause you are my dad," answered the girl slowly. "I call you "dad" just like I call mum "mum". I mean, I know I'm growing up but you don't expect Jackie and Jamie to call you the Doctor. That just wouldn't be cool, dad."

"Why are you calling me dad? Who are you?!" asked the Doctor with amounting panic.

The girl laughed. "Very funny dad, joke's over. Are you trying to pay me back for the time I convinced you you'd spontaneously regenerated in your sleep? Is mum gonna pop up next and say she's nineteen again and has just run off with the mad man in the blue box or maybe uncle Jack, saying he has just live through the twentieth century for the first time."

"Uncle Jack? Not Jack Harkness?" asked the Doctor incredulously. "Why would I let you call him uncle?"

"Not you, mum," said the girl and Amy could hear her rolling her eyes. "You call him trouble. But you trust him enough to leave Jackie with him in Cardiff while you and mum go off on your romantic week on Phersus seven." There was a pause. "Did you hit your head, or something?"

The Doctor flinched but took notice of something else the girl said. "Why in the world would I call my child Jackie?"

"After grandma Tyler of course. Dad, are you okay, you're a little pale," the girl asked with concern.

"Jackie Tyler? Grandma Jackie Tyler?" asked the Doctor, close to hyperventilating. Amy had never seen him like that. "That would make your mother Rose Tyler."

"Well, duh." The girl was quiet for a moment. "You really have no idea who I am?"

Jerkily the Doctor shook his head.

"Great," groaned the girl. "How old are you then? Who are you traveling with? Amy and Rory or Clara?"

"Who's Clara?" Amy asked out loud.

"Amy and Rory then," the girl said with a sigh. "The Paradox and her parents. Do come in dad, it's the family quarters, not my room. Tell the Ponds to come in too. Always wanted to meet them, couldn't because of the paradox. Not their daughter, the paradox in New York."

The Doctor entered the room hesitantly but Amy strode straight in. The girl was flopped on a couch. She looked about fifteen human years old and was dressed in red-and-black pajamas, her wet hair hanging over her shoulder. Her hair was dyed blond but her roots were showing. She had a button nose and the Doctor's green eyes. But she obviously wasn't River's daughter.

Amy stood in front of the girl, looking down at her. "Who are you?"

"Donna Tyler, second child and oldest daughter of the Doctor and Rose Tyler. And you're Amelia Pond, the Girl Who Waited. Behind you is your husband Rory Pond, the Last Centurion, the Boy Who Waited Even Longer, and your daughter Melody Pond, aka. River Song, the Doctor's second actual wife and a paradox if I've ever seen one," Donna said, smiling innocently.

"And who is Rose Tyler?" River asked icily, sitting on a chair on her own while the Doctor had taken the other end of the couch and Rory had taken a love seat with more than enough room for Amy.

"The best," shrugged Donna. "Or that's what dad says."

"She really was…" the Doctor said quietly, looking at Donna like he couldn't believe she was there. "Will be? Always was? The most jeopardy friendly companion ever… I took her to see Elvis and she got her face sucked off. I try to take her to see Ian Dury and we meet a werewolf. I take her home and her mother is being stalked. I put the TARDIS on random-"

"And you end up on an impossible planet in the orbit around a black hole. You take her ex-boyfriend along with you and you end up on an abandoned spaceship with time windows to pre-revolutionary France. You take her home for the first time, you're twelve months late. You try to take her to Naples, you end up in Cardiff and meet Charles Dickens on Christmas eve, with ghosts," Donna listed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, Slitheen in Downing Street was my favorite bedtime story. "I could save the World but lose you." So romantic. And you'd only known mum for three days."

"Bedtime story? You grew up on the TARDIS?" asked Rory, pulling Amy to sit by his side.

"No, I grew up on Gallifrey. I mean, we can't really go to human school, we're much too intelligent for it. Mum taught us to read and write and basic maths in nursery but dad took over as soon as we're eight and began teaching us physics and chemistry and astrological geography and history. Me, I'm already learning temporal physics with Jamie. Jackie's studying the rift in Cardiff and its space-time mechanics. Jamie's staying at aunt Sarah Jane's for the week, he's very good friends with Luke. And he fancies Sky. And he wanted to examine K-9 some more. Uncle Mickey and aunt Martha took the twins to give mum and dad the week off. Me, I'm TARDIS-sitting. Or, I'm supposed to be TARDIS-sitting, but it seems she has taken it upon herself to send me here."

"You sure have a gob on you," the Doctor said, looking unsure of talking to her.

"You named me Donna because I wouldn't stop screaming after I was born and apparently reminded you of the Great Donna Noble. You also say I talk almost as much as the you who wore the pinstriped suit. Genetics is a hard subject for Time Lords. Jackie is a real blond and we both know mum's not, no matter what she says, but your fifth self was. Jamie's ginger, so either you were already grey when you were supposed to be ginger, or will be ginger some day. We really don't know yet, and genetics is my specialty."

"Who's Jamie named after?" asked the Doctor.

"Jamie's named after Jamie McCrimmon and the little boy during the Blitz who's also mum's maternal grandfather. His birth was hard and both mum and Jamie almost died but in the end, everybody lived. The twins were named after Tommy at the Queen's coronation and Timothy from 1913. Now that mum's pregnant again, you're talking names again. If it's a girl, you want to call her Amelia, mum wants to name her Ida. If it's a boy, you want to call him Alistair and mum wants to call him Pete. Personally I'm voting for Ida or Alistair. You know, after Ida Scott and the Brigadier."

The Doctor shook his head slowly. "This is... so strange... I went Domestic?"

"Puh-leeaase, dad," Donna scoffed. "Mum domesticated you when you were all leather and big ears and you know it. I mean, you went back on her personal timeline for her after she asked. You wouldn't have done it for anyone else. And you let her change it too."

"It wasn't a big change!" protested the Doctor hotly. "Just what her mum told her of her dad's death!"

"You're adorable dad," grinned Donna, "when you try to justify bending the rules of time for her. Very cute."

"I'm not cute! Amy, tell her I'm not cute!" protested the Doctor, turning to Amy with pleading eyes. Then he paused and whipped his head back to Donna. "Wait a minute! It's impossible for humans and Time Lords to procreate naturally and you said Rose was pregnant!"

Donna stared at him with disbelief. "You really don't know? I thought... I mean it's obvious... really? I mean... you really have no idea?"

"What doesn't he know?" asked River impatiently.

Bur Donna couldn't seem to hear her and was just staring at the Doctor in astonishment before laughing. "The Doctor in the TARDIS doesn't know! I am so telling Jackie and Jamie and the twins! Dad didn't know!" she chortled, holding her stomach and doubling over for laughing so hard.

"Didn't know what?" the Doctor grumbled but deep inside a small flare of hope ignited.

"Mum," Donna calmed down a little, "mum held the Time Vortex for how long, dad?" she asked between chuckles.

The Doctor shrugged helplessly. "Oh... I don't know... five minutes?"

"Try fifteen," Donna rolled her eyes. "And how long did you hold it? Seven seconds? And you regenerated while nothing seemingly happened to mum. Had you done more than a cursory test, you'd have found her DNA changing, mutating, really, to something between a TARDIS and a Gallifreyan."

The Doctor paled significantly and his eyes widened. "And now she's in a Universe with the metacrisis who's going to wither up and decay and die, a Universe where she has neither me nor Jack for forever. She was the one thing I thought I'd done right by and-"

"Dad!" Donna interrupted him. "Like mum would let something like universal walls stop her from coming home. She'd done it before, it was easy to re-calibrate the dimension cannon to lock onto you after the twenty-seven planets. But fixed points prevented her from coming back to you right after, or that's what she said. Personally I think she didn't want to see you married to Paradox over there."

"You really shouldn't call River that," admonished the Doctor. "She's nice and really can't help it."

"Like that ever stopped you from calling uncle Mickey Rickey the Idiot or uncle Jack Captain Shags-a-lot," snorted Donna. "But then, you always were the jealous type."

"What? The Doctor's not jealous," spluttered Amy.

"No, he really is," Donna said seriously, then turned thoughtful. "Or he is with mum. You should see him when someone local flirts with her. Oncoming Storm never looked scarier. Except when he had to save mum from the Great Intelligence. Or so I'm told. I wasn't born yet."

"Do you ever stop talking?" asked River rather hostilely.

"Nope," grinned Donna, obviously enjoying her discomfort. "I open my mouth and words just come out. It's rather disconnecting sometimes. It's why I avoid Luke. I don't want him knowing I find him fascinating, and not just because of his rather complicated beginning and amazing genetics, but because I like the way his eyes look and how he can match me intellectually and how his body ages more slowly than normal humans and his bum, you wouldn't believe it. Sarah Jane and mum like the idea though. Dad, not so much. He says I'm too young to be inhibiting interest in the opposite sex, or anyone, really. And that Luke's too old for me. I don't think so. I mean, on Jamie's timeline he's nineteen, and a four year age gap is nothing on mum and dad's thousand one hundred and seven years."

"I'm already over twelve hundred!" protested the Doctor.

"Yeah, well, mum took the time to mourn her first husband. Well, second husband. She'd married that cave man during one of your adventures, hadn't she? Anyway, I'm just repeating what you and mum have told me. You know, sometimes you share TMI. I really didn't need to know about your third visit to Women Wept and how you kept each other warm during a blizzard. Or your naked adventures on Prima Three. Or any stories of how we were conceived in the TARDIS console room or the library, or that rainy afternoon you spent at Craig and Sophie's, waiting for them to come home, which then led to me. Or see that leash and collar in the TARDIS wardrobe with a dominatrix outfit right next to it. Really, I was traumatized for life after that. I mean, I know you both look like you're in your mid twenties and have the hormones to back it up, but you're still my parents, and parent sex is just gross."

"You really have no filter, do you?" asked Rory, looking mortified.

"Nope, but if you think this is embarrassing, try having random people come up to you to tell you to "tell your big sister to tone it down with her boyfriend" and know that they're talking about your parents. That happened to me in France. France! The planet, mind you, not the country, and they're even more liberal there than in the country. And they had a revolution to get public sex legalized by having massive orgies in front of the parliaments and city halls all over the planet. I'm not kidding, that's when the twins were conceived."

"And you were how old when this happened?" Amy asked haltingly.

"Ten, Jackie was eight and Jamie was thirteen," shrugged Donna. "It was quite a culture shock. I mean, we were all used to a certain level of sexual freedom, what with our parents barely able to keep their hands off of each other, and uncle Jack being from the 51st century when sexual culture is all about sharing, but we'd never actually seen sex. Well, I hadn't, but Jackie had accidentally stumbled on mum and dad "doing it" in the library after we were all supposed to be in bed."

Amy rounded on the Doctor. "Doctor, how could you!"

"What are you shouting at me for?" asked the bewildered Doctor. "I haven't done anything yet!"

"Thirteen, ten and eight, Doctor! That's too young!"

"Too young for what?" Donna wondered. "Sex? The physical aspect of it, maybe, but knowledge never hurt anyone and it really was better to have mum and dad there to explain things. How were we supposed to discover sex in you opinion, then, Amelia Pond? The internet? Books? Porn? And hey, once there was no such thing as a cultural taboo subject, we could all be more open about everything else too. I mean, yeah, I'm not going to go up to dad and gush about how cute Luke is, but that's why I have mum. And Jackie. And Sky. And aunt Martha. And Clara. Clara's cool."

"Who's Clara then?" asked River.

"Now Clara," Donna smiled smugly. "Who's Clara? Well, she was a Time Lady on Gallifrey who made dad choose this TARDIS over the others, telling him its navigation system was bonkers but that he'd have much more fun. Then she was an art student in the sixties who helped dad and Jamie with something or other. Then she was a bartender in the sixties when dad was exiled on Earth. I'm actually kinda jealous of her, she's been to so many different places, all with dad. Of course, dad never noticed her. She's dad's impossible girl. Clara Oswin Oswald-"

The Doctor drew in a sharp breath and his eyes widened. "Oswin Oswald?" he asked. "Like the girl turned to a Dalek?"

"Oh!" grinned Donna. "You've already met her! This is brilliant! Did she tell you to run, you clever boy, and remember? No, don't answer that, it's what she always tells you. Oh, Clara's cool like you wouldn't believe me. She was always my favorite baby sitter growing up. She had these glow-in-the-dark ghosts that she used to stage plays for us in the dark. It was totally awesome.. Her souffles are the best thing I've ever eaten, but dad says it took her ages to learn to do them properly. Actually, he apparently called her souffle girl for the longest time because she made imaginary souffles when she had actually been turned to a Dalek. She also made them when dad finally met the real her in 2013. "The souffle isn't the souffle, the souffle is the recepie," she always says."

"What does that even mean?" asked Rory.

"We had a philosophical debate about it once, and came to the conclusion it's the same as the idea of a chair represents a chair. Without that idea, there will be no chair. With different instructions you have different chairs. But with one specific set of instructions, you can produce the same chair over and over again. So the chair isn't the chair, the idea of the chair is the chair, you get what I mean? I can never remember the name's of philosophers and that was the idea of some great one," Donna scratched her nose, embarrassed. "Tim is always wroth with me when I mix them up. He's the philosopher of us. Tom is the historian, really. Jackie's interested in space-time physics, Jamie in mechanics and me, well, genetics interest me more. The age old question of nature versus nurture and all that."

"So let me get this straight," said Rory, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "You're the Doctor's future daughter?"

"Well, for me I already am his daughter, but to you I'm just representing one possibility," answered Donna, "But, in a way, yes, I'm the Doctor's future daughter."

"And something's going to happen to us some time in the future and the Doctor is going to pick up a girl named Clara to travel with him."

"It's a bit more complicated than that. From what I've heard, losing you pretty much shut dad down so that he just hung out on a cloud in Victorian London, until he met Clara Oswald, the barmaid pretending to be a governess. But hey, on the plus side, he didn't try to kill himself, unlike when he lost mum the first time, or go crazy, like he did when he lost mum the second time," Donna prattled happily.

"Yeah, I'm too tired for this," said Rory, standing up. "I'm going to bed and maybe think of all this in the morning when I've had ten hours of sleep and haven't just come from saving some lizard species from untimely extinction," he said and shuffled out of the door.

Amy stood up as well. "We'll talk about this later, raggedy man," she said, pointing a finger at the Doctor and followed her husband.

"And what about you?" asked River, looking at Donna. "Shouldn't you be getting sleep?"

She shrugged. "I only sleep a few hours more than dad in a week, and that's only because I'm still growing..." she trailed off, catching River's eyes. "But I think I'll go eat something and leave you two to talk alone." She stood up and stretched. She kissed the Doctor on the cheek and gave him a hug. "Good night dad. Have fun!" she said sarcastically as she left.

Her stomach growled and she realized she actually was hungry and headed to the galley. Maybe there would be some jam or marmalade in the fridge...

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A/N: About Gallifrey: the Doctor didn't latch onto it since Donna said in the same way Donna Noble said she was going ten pin bowling in Runaway Bride, and then she proceeded to describe a childhood definitely different from the norm on Gallifrey. Jamie, Jackie and Donna would have already been taken to the Academy on Gallifrey, limiting them to the planet and making it impossible for them to have developed crushes on Sarah Jane's kids. So the Doctor doesn't know that Gallifrey (in my head canon) quite literally bent backwards to please him for saving them. (Not that they would do it indefinitely, but for the first or so hundred years.)