"Firestar!" Sandstorm screamed at her mate.

"What! I was just trying to figure out the prophecy!" Firestar retorted as he walked slowly towards Sandstorm.

"Awkward..." Spottedleaf muttered.

"Now, we don't want to have a mad Sandstorm, do we!" screeched Sandstorm as she flexed her sharp claws.

"Now then, we can all calm down-" Spottedleaf started before she was knocked over by one of Sandstorm's, well, sandstorms.

Sandstorms swirling around her, Sandstorm raged, "But you were talking to Spottedleaf! She's Spottedleaf! She's not even your mate! I am! So don't talk to her! Ever! I'm not kidding!"

"Jeez, overreact much? You have been a total twoleg since we met. It's over, Sandstorm," Firestar growled as he started to turn into a fiery star.

"Ooooohhhhh, Firestar! I'll be waiting for you in Starclan! Kiss kiss!" purred Spottedleaf before she magically flew to Starclan.

"Oh, it's on Firestar Rusty Kittypet!" Sandstorm yowled as she lunged at Firestar.

As Firestar leaped on Sandstorm, he exclaimed, "Hey, at least Spottedleaf has a better full name than you! You're full name is Sandstorm Sandy Pinetree! Spottedleaf's full name is Spottedleaf Amber Oakleaf! so there!"

Sandstorm screamed, "Well I was clan-born, you were a kittypet! Then stupid Graystripe just had to come along and find you and, poof, you're here and we're all mad and we think that you're going to weaken the clan, then Bluestar goes psycho and starts calling everyone 'Fire-homey and Sand-homey and Dust-homey!'"

"Huhhh?" mewed Graystripe, sounding like a cow.

"Oh, oh, okay. Um, um, um," stuttered Firestar. "Um, I became a warrior before you did! And then I was Deputy. And, plus, it was not my fault Bluestar went crazy. She had Alzheimer's and thought it was the 1960's."

Bluestar randomly ran in and started screaming, "You put your right hand in, your put your right hand out, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around and that's what it's all about!"

Firestar announced, "See I told you she had Alzheimer's!"

Yellowfang came down from Starclan and coaxed Bluestar, "come on, time to go back to hot dog world. Sorry, she forgot to take her medicine today."

As they both magically flew back to Starclan, Bluestar screamed, "I like cookies!"


In the end, Firestar dies and goes to Starclan. Sobness.