Totally Wasted! Cool!

AN: Just something random I had to let out. Hope you like it.

Warning: Do not try this for real.

Disclaimer: I do dot own the outsiders and not in any way partake in the production of the Dodge Challenger.

It was a slow and quiet day at the Tulsa police headquarters. Officer Lardbutt was enjoying the peacefulness of his day until a loud supped up motor sounded outside the building.

Normally the officer would dismiss it all together as the police vehicles always made a lot of noise, but the motor sounded like it was coming closer and closer by the minute.

Suddenly, a jet-black car came into view. It was the new Dodge Challenger, and it was being driven at top speed by none other than a badly dressed and drunken… George Washington?

In reality it was Two-Bit dressed in costume and sporting the lasted fashion in powdered wigs.

Everyone in the room scattered as the vehicle zoomed through the parking area and through the front glass window panels of the police station.

"Charge!" yelled Two-Bit pumping his right handed fist in the air wildly.

Desks, papers, chairs, and all sorts of things went flying. Panic, fear, and anger was circulating through Officer Lardbutt as he surveyed all the damage around him that Two-Bit had done. .

He wondered how many times he had to put that greaser in jail. It wasn't like it ever did any good. Two-Bit loved jail. He thought it was one big joke after another, and Officer Lardbutt knew it all too well.

He took out a set of his handcuffs to arrest Two-Bit. Walking towards the car, Officer Lardbutt opened the door to the driver's side.

"Step out of the vehicle, Two-Bit. You're under arrest," said Officer Lardbutt.

He pulled Two-Bit out and pressed him up against the car. Then the door fell off.

"Car go broke," said Two-Bit. "Wow!"

"What's wrong with you? Don't you know to stay away from police when your drunk and underage?"

Officer Lardbutt patted him down, confiscating his switchblade, and cuffing him. The other officers and staff members started to clean up thinking that the crazy shenanigans were over. But they thought wrong.

"Yo, Lardbutt," the fearless ex-con, Tim Shepherd asked.

He was screeching in their direction leading a gang of boys and motorcycles that included his best buddy Dallas Winston, younger brother Curly, and a few other of his boys.

"Ahhh!" yelled Two-Bit. "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

Two-Bit stuck his head in the now doorless car, and picked up a stick with his mouth. Attached to the end of it was a pair of a lady's white, lacy panties, which Two-Bit waved around in surrender.

Such an act caused the police chief's secretary to faint. The Latinate thought Two-Bit had some strong teeth to be able to accomplish something like that.

The greasers each took turns jumping their bikes over the Challenger before heading through the back of the building.

"Save me Lardbutt! Save me!" Two-Bit cried in alarm.

"That's pronounced [lir-toe]. It's French," said Officer Lardbutt. "You need to sober up kid. How about a couple nights in the pen?"

"You'll never take me alive copper!" yelled Two-Bit.

"Now son I just did," said Officer Lardbutt.

"No!" shouted Two-Bit. "I'm a fugitive running from the law!"

"You're not going anywhere. Now stop pretending you're in a gangster movie, and just calm down."

With that Two-Bit threw himself in the car. Rolling around, he tried to wiggle his way through to the other side.

"My patients is running thin, boy. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

Two-Bit made it through the car, and landed hard on his head as he got out knocking himself out.

The officer dispatched a message through to the other officers out on patrol to pick up the greasy motorcyclists while he took car of Two-Bit.