They said that it would take some time.

But really time isn't on my side.

I have people looking at me from each direction and expecting something from me.

The thing is they don't really know what I went through.

I was always taught to push and push, and when I couldn't last anymore to keep on pushing till I dropped.

They didn't care if I did something right, it wasn't good enough, they wanted 100 percent and then some.

I remember I was the best to ever touch that ball and I gave it all up just for a hit.

And let me tell you back in those days, the hit let me just ease up a bit.

You know, oh wait you don't know how a hit feels because you never took one.

Well I did, and I had my shares of ups and downs believe me on that now.

It was pretty at first, to just unwind, or relax and to let the pain just slide off my body like sweat on a hot summers day.

Then the ugly side decided to reveal it's self, and that was something I couldn't fathom in the wildest of my dreams.

Shoot the reality was like a horror movie, just waiting there, to get caught,attacked, pass out, escape somewhere else.

I honestly thought I was going to die and speak to the man up stairs or whoever you believe in when your gone.

And I was going to be embarrassed to talk to the man, honestly if I must, no if I have to say.

I saw the ugly, pretty, screwed up side of all of this and it was something that took someone away.

The minute I took that hit I lost my self, my family lost their son, even though they saw him, he wasn't there.

Well to me he wasn't, like how can you adjust to taking hit after hit, and say it's alright, honestly you can't.

If I am to leave you some advice, never take that hit and say it will happen one time.

Addiction sucks, and it controls you, that is why it is called addiction.

It is addicted to making you a loser, a sucker or whatever you want to call it.

Addiction is hell and you're lucky if you can survive it.

I am here to say I was an addict once and I been clean, but it isn't easy.

I can't say it will take one day to be back to your old self.

But it's a process, if you are addicted to something ruining you, just have the courage to wake up one day and save your self.

Not for the ones that love you, but for the one it will help the most you.