Summary: Draco is dared by his cronies to make Luna fall in love with him. Will it work? Will Draco win, or will he actually love Luna by the end?

A/N: Ok, so I started by writing a fanfiction about one of my favorite books EVER, but I currently do not have access to a copy, it being on one side of the country and I being on the other…so I stole my friend's Harry Potter book and started reading it. Then I just got this idea, like lightning! YAH! So…I don't know what's going to happen. I like pie and tea.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or known items or known quotes mentioned, which are, in fact, owned by Joanne Kathleen Rowling…or Warner Brothers® depending on what you're talking about. In any case, I don't own them.

Chapter 1: Of Quibblers and Galleons

Luna Lovegood sat on the Hogwarts Express reading her magazine The Quibbler. She was pretending to be grossly interested in the ancient runes. She had not looked at a single rune on that page ever since Draco Malfoy walked into sight. She did not love Draco Malfoy, she "loved" him. His wonderful muscular body she knew he was concealing beneath his Hogwart's robes was what she fell asleep to every night in her mind's eye. She sighed dreamily. If only she could hug him. They would do runes together in front of the fireplace, they could agree with everything The Quibbler said. They might even start a Quibbler stand together!

Luna shivered with pleasure as she saw Malfoy standing outside her compartment door, still! He was laughing and joking around with his friends. 'O gosh. His smile is absolutely…utopian!' Luna closed her eyes for a moment, picturing them together at the fireplace again. When she opened them, he was gone. Luna screwed her mouth up with distaste. Caught up in defeat, she went back to deciphering the runes in The Quibbler.

Once she was back into her own little world, she was interrupted again. She looked up dreamily, and was hoping it was Malfoy asking if she'd finished deciphering all the runes yet. She almost thought it was for a couple of seconds, but she blinked and realized that it was only Ginny Weasley.

"Hi, Luna," said Weasley. "Is it okay if we take up these seats?"

Luna's eyes ranged over the two boys standing there with Weasley. She nodded. 'Maybe if Gryffindors are here, then Malfoy will come back! Gryffindors and Slytherins are always getting into rows and such! Oh, I do believe this will be a treat!'

"Thanks," said Weasley, smiling at her.

Luna was now watching the taller boy over the top of her Quibbler magazine. 'Just when will he come?' she thought to herself.

"Had a good summer, Luna?" Weasley asked.

"Yes," said Luna dreamily, without taking her eyes off of that one strange boy. "Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know. You're Harry Potter," she added. Her eyes stayed steadily gazing at Potter as thoughts and ideas started forming and racing through her mind. If she were to befriend Potter, that would then make her enemies with Malfoy. However, enemies was a lot closer than she was now, and at this point, she wanted to take whatever she could get.

"I know I am," said Potter.

The squat boy chuckled. Luna turned her pale eyes upon him instead.

"And I don't know who you are."

"I'm nobody," said the strange plump boy hurriedly.

"No you're not," said Weasley sharply. "Neville Longbottom—Luna Lovegood. Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw."

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure," said Luna in a singsong voice.

Luna then raised her upside-down magazine high enough to hide her face and fell silent. 'Wit without measure is for sure,' Luna thought as she pretended to be examining her runes again. 'That Longbottom boy will only take me further from Malfoy. Why does he have to be here? I hope he is just as good of enemies with Malfoy as Potter is. Perhaps the more enemies with Malfoy I make, the better things will be.' Luna consoled herself and kept everything she was thinking inside. She would never tell anyone about her physical attraction to Malfoy. It was too risky.

The train rattled onward, speeding them out into open country. It was an odd, unsettled sort of day; one moment the carriage was full of sunlight and the next they were passing beneath ominously gray clouds.

"Guess what I got for my birthday?" Longbottom proclaimed.

"Another Remembrall?" Potter said with a grin on his face. Whatever the inside joke was, Luna wanted it to stop. She just wanted them to shut up so that she could continue her fantasizing without being interrupted.

"No," Longbottom grinned back. "I could do with one, though. I lost the old one ages ago…No, look at this…"

He dug the hand that was not keeping a firm grip on his slimy, disgusting toad into his schoolbag and after a little bit of rummaging pulled out what appeared to be a small gray cactus in a pot, except that it was covered with what looked like boils rather than spines.

"Mimbulus mimbletonia," he said proudly.

Luna looked over her Quibbler for this. The plant was disgusting.

"It's really, really rare," Longbottom said, beaming. "I don't know if there's one in the greenhouse at Hogwarts, even. I can't wait to show it to Professor Sprout. My great-uncle Algie got it for me in Assyria. I'm going to see if I can breed from it."

Luna was repulsed by the thought of breeding such a disgusting thing. She went back to her magazine, once again, wishing desperately that everyone would just leave the compartment and leave her alone. Luna then proceeded to daydream about what would happen once everyone did. Malfoy would come traipsing in the compartment, a smug look on his face. He would take off his school robe, revealing a white shirt. Slowly, the buttons would come undone, revealing wonderful, amazing, truly-sculpted…

Liquid squirted from every boil on the plant, thick, stinking, dark green jets of it; they hit the ceiling, the windows, and spattered Luna Lovegood's magazine. Weasley, who had flung her arms up in front of her face just in time, merely looked as though she was wearing a slimy green hat, but Potter, whose hands had been busy holding Longbottom's disgusting animal again, received a face full. It smelled like rancid manure.

Longbottom, whose face and torso were also drenched, shook his head to get the worst out of his eyes, spattering yet more of the goop onto Luna. The boy started to mumble out an apology, when the compartment door slid open. Luna was praying against everything in her being that it was not Malfoy. She would hate to be caught in this state, covered in glunky cactus poop by the hottest guy in school.

Luckily, it was only Cho Chang. Luna knew Cho, being in the same House with her. As far as Luna was concerned, however, Cho was a stuck-up, self-satisfied prig who got whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, all because she had had the hottest boyfriend in the school, and the most popular Hogwarts Champion. Even after Diggory's death, Cho still got whatever she wanted, only this time it was because everyone felt too sorry for her.

"Oh…hello, Harry," said a nervous voice. "Um…bad time?"

Potter wiped the lenses of his glasses with his frog-free hand. A very squinched up face of Cho gazed back at him. The smell was terrible.

"Oh…hi," said Potter blankly.

Luna rolled her eyes. Yet another one of the male species had been captured by the natural beauty and pitiful emotional state of Cho Chang. It was disgusting.

"Um…" said Cho. "Well…just thought I'd say hello…'bye then."

Cho closed the door again, rather pink in the face, and departed. Potter groaned and slumped back in his seat. Luna just rolled her eyes again.

"Never mind," said the Weasley girl. "Look, we can get rid of all this easily." She pulled out her wand. "Scourgify!"

The Stinksap vanished.

A couple of hours later, after two more of Potter's friends had shown up, and they had stuffed themselves full of chocolate frogs, Malfoy came in. Luna was shocked as he opened the compartment door. She was expecting something like this to happen, there being so many notorious Gryffindors, but she didn't know it was going to happen so soon. His cronies, Crabbe and Goyle stood behind him as always.

"What?" said the Boy Who Lived aggressively, before Malfoy could even open his mouth. Luna shot him a dirty look for this, but no one else saw.

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," drawled Malfoy, whose sleek blond hair and pointed chin were just like a dream to Luna. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."

He was so dreamy when he was being authoritative Luna thought. Her eyes were twinkling with pure physical delight, as if she were watching something at the cinema.

"Yeah," said Potter, "but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."

Both Weasleys, the girl that was there, and Longbottom laughed. Luna's and Malfoy's lip curled in unison.

"Tell me, how it feels being second-best to Weasley, Potter?" he asked.

"Shut up, Malfoy," said the bushy-haired one sharply.

"I seem to have touched a nerve," said Malfoy, smirking. "Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I'll be dogging your footsteps in case you step out of line."

"Get out!" said the girl, standing up.

Sniggering, Malfoy threw a last malicious look back into the compartment and departed, Crabbe and Goyle lumbering in his wake. The girl slammed the compartment door behind them and turned to look at Potter.

"Did you see who was in that compartment, Malfoy?" Crabbe asked, being the cleverer of the two sidekicks.

"Yes. I very well did. Of course I did. What, do you think I'm blind?" Malfoy said, stopping in his tracks turning to look menacingly at Crabbe for ever thinking to suggest such a thing.

"No, not blind. Did you see that Looney Looney Lovegood was in there?"

"Who's that?" Malfoy asked, almost curiously, but still maintaining that menacing tone.

"She's this Ravenclaw. I don't know her very well myself (well of course not), but I once caught her dancing in the hallway with a suit of armor."

"Er…yeah. That's right," Goyle added, trying to sound intelligent and failing miserably.

"So?" Malfoy sneered.

"Well, me and Goyle have a proposition for you." Crabbe said, while elbowing Goyle in the ribs to make him agree.

"Er…yeah," he said again stupidly.

"Why should you be making me a proposition? Haven't I given you everything?"

"Well, this is just for a bit of fun. We bet that you can't make Looney Looney Lovegood fall in love with you by the end of the first term."

"Why would you bet me such a thing?" Malfoy asked, letting go of Crabbe's robes finally and continuing along the train corridor.

"Er…" Crabbe didn't have an answer.

Malfoy thought for a moment as he was making his way back to his compartment. On the one hand, he could accept Crabbe and Goyle's offer and perhaps make some money. Of course there was no doubt in his mind that he could make the Lovegood girl fall in love with him. On the other hand, he really did not want to associate himself with someone such as her. The thought of money tempting, Malfoy agreed.

"Alright. I accept your challenge. How many Galleons are we talking about here?"

"Two hundred," Crabbe said promptly.

"Very well. Carry on, and you are to speak to no one of this proposition, understood?" Malfoy asked, taking a hold of Crabbe's robes again in one fluid motion.

"Understood Malfoy. Understood."

A/N: I hope it's okay. I don't know if the chapter is long enough…but it's my first fanfic posted, so give me a break. I'll try to write the next chapter later…but I don't know how much time I'll have. Finals are coming up here in two weeks time…If no one likes it I can just stop posting and delete my story. W00t for delete buttons! still liking the idea of pie and tea, but it being much to early in the morning, not being able to get any