I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, I wouldn't be wasting cough spending my time here writing fanfics about it. Huzzah! Oh, and I also don't own The Lord of the Rings. Wish I did, 'cause the books and the movies are awesome.
A Series of Pointless Events
A little known fact about Beast Boy: he likes tofu. Hell, even if you're not a fan of Teen Titans, you know that Beast Boy likes tofu. When you think of Beast Boy, you think of tofu, and vice-versa. Everyone in the tower knew that he loved tofu with a passion. However, for one reason or another, Beast Boy was unaware of this.
So one day, Beast Boy decided he would make himself heard. He puffed out his chest, a determined expression on his face, and marched into the living room. The first person he saw was Raven, who was levitating a foot above the couch, reading a book. Coincidentally, this book was titled The Lord of the Rings. This is coincidental because several hundred miles off to the North, an old man was flipping through his television channels, and happened to stumble upon an add for the upcoming Lord of the Rings musical.
"My God, they're making a Lord of the Rings musical!" he then resumed his channel surfing, indifferent.
And so it was as Raven read this purely coincidental book that Beast Boy marched up to her, head held high, and said "I like tofu."
"No duh." Raven dead panned, not even bothering to glance up from her rather coincidental book.
Now, usually two words of such small size and meaning would have little effect on a person.
However, there was always an exception, and in this case, it was Beast Boy. He just looked at Raven, his ears drooping, unsure of what he could say to clear this rather awkward situation.
Lucky fort Beast Boy, a distraction was provided when non other then Robin walked into the room. Now, usually Robin wouldn't waste his time worrying about shiny green fabric, but on this particular day, it was exactly what he was worrying about.
"Team, I've been thinking." Robin said dramatically.
"That can't be good." Cyborg said, walking into room having just finished cleaning his baby, or rather, the T-Car. Robin chose to ignore this, deciding that the situation was far too important to waste time worrying about this. A little known fact about Robin: he tends to push the drama.
"Like I said, I've been thinking," he continued, "and have come to the conclusion that my tights make me look, for lack of a better term, gay."
Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at Robin blankly, unsure of what to say to that notion. Raven chose simply to ignore them all, deciding that men were simply hopeless, and that she might consider becoming a nun. No offense to men, of course; they're quite lovely when not in a gassy mood.
Well, I'm just digging myself deeper into this, aren't I? Sorry.
And so all went silent, leaving Robin feeling rather confused and very much uncomfortable. Lucky for him, Starfire chose that very moment to fly into the room from the kitchen, where she had, coincidentally, just invented a new fabric stronger then steel and light as a feather simply by mixing egg shells, baking soda, an old bottle of mustard and a handful of toenail clipping she had found on the floor. The original owner of the toenails is still to be discovered, but the others had a sneaking suspicion that Cyborg was secretly collecting the toenails in order to make sculptures out of them in an attempt to revolutionize modern art as we know it. The coincidental fabric would soon be lost, however, when the Gerbils attempted to take over Titans Tower, but the story hasn't gotten that far yet.
Well. Starfire flew into the room, having heard the conversation going on there, and immediately wrapped Robin in a bone-crushing, yet reassuring hug. A little known fact about Starfire: she loves Robin. She loves him like peanut butter loves jelly, like Beast Boy loves tofu, like Rice Crispies (Which I also do not own) love marshmallows. Also, on a rather coincidental side not, when put in a microwave and heated up for thirty seconds, the marshmallow will inflate, causing a mini explosion and ultimately turning into a pile of sticky yet satisfyingly sweet goo. But this is completely irrelevant to the topic, if there ever was one to begin with.
"Robin, whatever the term 'gay' may mean, I assure you, you are not so!" Starfire said brightly. Robin nodded, somewhat reassured, and then thought it wise to ask a question that had been nagging at him for several moments now.
"Beast Boy, why are you wearing a giant sombrero?"
For indeed the young green boy was now sporting a sombrero with a very wide brim. He shrugged.
"It just seemed appropriate for the moment." The others, including Raven, exchanged a glance, only to be startled even more when they looked back only to see Beast Boy now sporting a very tall cowboy hat.
"I'm not even going to ask." Raven said, monotone.
It was then that Violet, Claus and Sunny Beaudelaire (All of which I do not own) popped up, giving the Titans yet another confusing thing to think about.
"Uh…what are you guys doing here?" asked Robin, "And who the heck are you?"
"We're the Beaudelaire twins," said Violet, "and we have every right to be here. After all, the title of this story is dreadfully similar to the title of our series, for which the authoress will soon be sued."
Damn.
"But we don't really want to stay long," Claus piped in, "So we'll just be stealing your T.V. and be off."
And so, using their godly strength which I just bestowed on them (in hopes that I won't get sued) the Beaudelaire orphans lifted the very tall, very wide T-Television (which I just named now) and hefted it off back to wherever they came from.
It took the Titans a moment to register what had just happened, and when they finally did, it was Beast Boy who reacted first.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he bawled to the Heavens, falling to his knees and clutching his head.
There was an awkward silence.
"So, who's up for mini-golfing?" said Robin, holding up a bag of mini-putting clubs he had, one way or another, produced from behind his back.
Dare you find out what happens in chapter two?
Review my story, and perhaps I will tell you!
