I was born April 5, 1994.
My mother had always wanted a daughter. After having a seemingly disturbed son, my dad was beyond unpleased at my birth.
But my mother wanted another child, and another child was what she got.
My mother always gets what she wants.
/ /
I was five years old. My brother was ten.
Our father decided to treat us to a movie. I was really excited because I had never been to a movie theater before.
I wanted to see The Pretty Unicorn Princess, because it was full of wonder and color and sparkles, but my brother wanted to see The Mighty Muscle Man, because it was full of icky boy stuff, like fighting and guts and exploding stuff.
Dad went with his movie, because he said my pretty, happy movie would make my brother like my uncle and uncle.
My brother always gets what he wants.
/ /
When I was seven, I wanted to play an instrument.
I wanted to learn how to play the drums. They were loud and exciting and full of life. The beat was wonderful and it seemed like it would be the most fun thing, to know how to bang on something just right to make bold, beautiful music.
Daddy said that racket would give him a headache. He made me learn to play the piano instead.
My father always gets what he wants.
/ /
I auditioned for the school play when I was nine.
My cousin was an actress in some local plays and she always talked about how much fun it was. I was always looking for new ways to have fun, so I auditioned for the lead role against a really bratty girl named Lily Prescott.
For my ninth birthday, my parents took me to a farm to ride a pony. For Lily's ninth birthday, her parents bought her a stable full of ponies.
Lily got the lead. I got to play a tree.
Lily Prescott always gets what she wants.
/ /
My mother became friends with Karen West.
They met backstage while my mother helped me put on my tree costume. Mrs. West's daughter was named Jade, who was playing one of the supporting roles.
They both thought that since they were such great friends, then their daughters would be great friends, too. But Jade didn't want to be my friend. I didn't want to be her friend either.
She was scary and grumpy and mean and grouchy and liked blood and scissors far more than an average nine year old should. We were too different.
Mrs. West forced Jade to have play dates with me, so she could spend time with my mother.
Karen West always gets what she wants.
/ /
It turns out that opposites really do attract.
Jade and I became best friends, despite all of our differences.
I liked Jade because she was creative and independent and was never as mean to me as she was to all the other kids.
Jade liked me because I was easy to push around and I always gave her the dessert my mom packed in my lunch. But she was a good friend.
And that was something I wanted.
/ /
I met Beck Oliver in my freshmen year at Hollywood Arts.
He was handsome and funny and nice and he never made fun of me for being different. But he was different too. He was just a kind of different that everyone liked.
Jade asked me if I liked him. Like, like-like him. I said I didn't know.
But she knew. She knew how much I was crushing on him, but she asked him out anyway, because she knew I wouldn't do or say anything to stop her.
He said yes. They dated for three years.
Jade West always, always gets what she wants.
/ /
Two years later, I was finally over Beck.
At least I thought I was.
I met a boy named Daniel. He was handsome and funny and nice and he never made fun of me for being different, just like Beck.
He asked me to be his girlfriend.
I finally got something I wanted.
/ /
I was wrong.
After seeing her and Daniel locking lips, I realized I hadn't gotten what I wanted.
But Tori Vega certainly does.
/ /
I am always happy.
Things may not work out the way I want them to, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. No God could be as cruel as to give everyone else in my life everything they want and give me practically nothing that I would like.
I like to dwell on the things I do have, and thank God every day that I have them, because I know some people aren't as lucky as me.
But it's still not bad to want things.
/ /
Beck and Jade break up during senior year.
The whole school is abuzz. Jade is furious. Beck is in love with someone else. No one knows who she is, but all he will say is that he is determined to get her.
And Beck Oliver always gets what he wants.
/ /
Beck didn't get the girl he wanted.
He still wouldn't admit who she was. He just stared down at his burrito and said she was taken.
I gave him a sympathetic frown as Robbie wrapped his arm around my shoulder in the way that only a boyfriend can.
Robbie asked me out right before Thanksgiving break. I didn't know how to say no. Besides, Robbie's sweet.
Despite everything else that is wrong with him.
Robbie doesn't always get everything he wants.
But this time, he did. He got me.
/ /
Robbie breaks up with me in the middle of January.
He said he wanted to see other people, but I knew what he meant.
He didn't want me anymore.
He wanted Trina.
/ /
I've wanted quite a lot of things in my life.
Sometimes I've received them. Sometimes I haven't.
But I always wonder if anyone has ever wanted me.
/ /
Tonight is senior prom.
My dress, my hair, my everything is sososo pretty.
So then why am I alone?
André had asked Tori. Robbie had finally gotten Trina to go out with him. I think she just wanted to relive prom, since hers ended with a pair of broken six-inch heels and a cake and punch-coated dress. Jade didn't go, because according to her, prom is for losers.
That must be true.
Because nobody even asked me.
/ /
I sit on the steps outside the gymnasium, crying my eyes out.
My mascara runs down my cheeks, ruining all my makeup, but I don't care.
Everybody in there had a date. Someone to slow dance with and laugh with and drink cheap punch and dry cake with.
I'm not a selfish girl. I don't ask for much.
I just wanted something to go my way for once.
/ /
A shooting star shoots across the dark, starless sky.
I silence my sobs as I look at it. My eyes are still watering, so it was hard to see, but the brightness of it was able to shine, even through my murky, mascara-filled tears.
I wish for just one thing.
But I can't tell you what it was.
Because then it won't come true.
/ /
After the star was out of sight, I went back to crying.
Because I knew my wish wasn't going to come true.
/ /
A pair of shiny black shoes step in front of my downcast, tear-filled eyes.
I look up, and thanks to my blurry vision, I momentarily think Aladdin is standing in front of me. After he sits down and gently wipes my tears away with his hand, I can see who he is.
Beckett James Oliver.
He's wearing a tuxedo, just like all the other guys, but it just looks better on him than it does on them. His usual style was so laid back, but to see him all dressed up, with his wild hair slicked back… It was a shock. Like, the good kind.
He asks me why I'm crying. I say I don't know. He takes my chin, forces me to look into his dark brown eyes, and tells me to tell him why I'm crying.
His touch is so gentle. Like, I felt like he really cared about me. None of my friends even bothered to see where I had run off to, but Beck, even though he had just shown up, still searched for me.
He cares about me.
/ /
I tell him about my lack of prom date in a huge, run-on sentence of a ramble.
And, while I'm on a verbal diarrhea role, I tell him about how none of the small things I wanted ever really happened and how I tried so hard but was never rewarded and how everybody was having a great time but me and how I wished on that twinkly star and how oh how I just wanted something good to happen to me for once and how I really needed to take a breath because I was talking too fast without taking a break.
He hugs me the whole time that I am rambling, and makes quiet shushing noises at me every now and again when I start sobbing again.
Everyone thinks I'm so innocent and so oblivious.
But I still have problems too.
Beck is apparently the one who sees that.
/ /
After my wails are reduced to pathetic sniffles, Beck kisses the top of my head.
I don't think much of it. Beck's one of my best guy friends. He kisses me all the time, and I kiss him sometimes too. On the forehead, the cheek, but never on the lips, of course.
They're just signs of friendly affection.
/ /
It's silent.
Beck doesn't say anything for a while, even after I've stopped crying. He just rubs my back and lets me rest my head against his chest.
And that's all I really needed.
/ /
My entire world stops when he quietly says he loves me.
It wasn't in a platonic way. He says it in the same tone he always did when he said it to Jade. That soft, loving tone I had always wished he would use with me.
And now he just did.
I tell him that I love him back. He gives me that smile that has made my heart melt since the day I met him.
He kisses me.
I'm pretty sure my heart is going to explode from how fast it's beating.
He slowly pulls away soon after and I quietly ask him if I was the girl he broke up with Jade for. He laughs and kisses me again.
I guess that's a yes.
/ /
We go inside and dance the night away.
I don't even see the reactions of the other prom-goers, because I spend the entire night looking into Beck's eyes, my heart swelling with joy.
My wish came true.
Like I said before, Beck Oliver always gets what he wants.
I'm just lucky that I wanted him too.
The word 'want' has now lost all meaning D:
Please tell me if this sucked or not. It's my first attempt at fancy writing… Or whatever you'd like to call this.
