It was not easy being a pikmin. Especially when you had no friends or family. Actually, you didn't even know why you existed. You were a sad, lonely, rock pikmin. If you were more social, you could have been the most popular pikmin around, but you decided that it was pointless to make friends when you were different. 'Oh, we love different pikmin!' 'It's ok, nobody will judge you!' 'If you're nice, everyone will like you.' Lies. Dirty fucking lies. Everyone will judge you if you are different. Blue pikmin are jerks.
Now, you are a bud pikmin. Your whole childhood was a wreck. And at an attempt to try improve it, your mother painted your flower white, painted you red, and put a thick leaf around you to make it look like you were just wearing a sweater. "Trust me Granite," your mother cooed, "You will be okay, just as long as you keep your and paint on." Your mother was a red pikmin, as was the rest of your family. You asked your mother if you were thrown in a candypop bud, but she always said, 'They put in the wrong pellet.' Honestly, you thought it was a bunch of bulborb-shit. (See what I did there?) And just like her fail attempt to help, you made a fail attempt to walk to a puddle so you could see yourself. Sure, you were teased without wearing these "enhancements", but it made you look like one of those creepy kids in the teenager movies. Anyway, you had planned to take this disguise off as soon as it was time to go to school.
As soon as you had arrived, you had already felt the dreadful atmosphere of the School Onion. It was the place where pikmin came to learn how to fight enemies, carry treasure, dig and handle bombs, etc. You hated it. It wasn't because of the school, or the teaching pikmin. The reason for your suffering was the stupid idiots that attended the school. Of course, you couldn't do anything to harm them. There were cameras in seriously every fucking room of the place! So, as much as you wanted to kick the asses of these idiots, you couldn't.
The worst part was over. You had made it through the whole school day without getting teased. And good God, were you surprised. Your mother's disguise had worked. (for once) Of course, there was an occasional stare of mental trauma, but you were at least glad that you weren't tempted to rip out someones bud, which was rare considering that most of the time, some bitch managed to fuck up your day. It was time to get ready for the next painful day at the School Onion, you dreading what will become of your life.
