It Should Be Me and You
Abigail swore on her life and promised the Lord above she would never do this. She would never fall for a man who was her employer and master. She had seen it and heard it too many times in her years as a child and as an adult. Women were subjected to the master's whim and nothing could be done about it. Thankfully she belonged to a family who didn't believe in taking young slave girls and using their bodies for sport.
Here she was in this house with a man who was supposed to be the enemy but she did not see him as such. He was man fighting for a cause he believed in and the guilt of spying on him coupled with these rapidly growing feelings unsettled her.
She didn't even know she truly felt this way until Peggy Shippen came into her life. Peggy Shippen, the young and beautiful girl who mesmerized Major Andre with her charm and wit. The woman who had not lived the hard life she had. She was a woman of grace and beauty and sophistication.
Who was she in comparison? A former slave girl who still didn't know whether she would be free once this war over. She was a mother who worried for her son. She was a woman invisible to the world and to her employer in some regards. The only time he seemed to be interested was when she talked about her son, Cicero.
Cicero. Maybe that is how it all began. All she had to do was mention his name and his eyes would light up with such admiration and care. Even though it was an excuse she was still touched by his willingness to help her.
"Abigail? Did you hear me?" Peggy asked breaking Abigail out of her thoughts. Abigail shook her head as she hurried her feet to the woman.
"I'm sorry Ms. Shippen," Abigail said.
Peggy gave a light hearted chuckle. "Now Abigail, I've told you to call me Peggy when we're in private. I do consider you a friend."
Abigail smiled begrudgingly then hung her head a bit to hide the resentment and guilt. "Stop it Abigail," she chided herself.
"Yes…Peggy," Abigail responded aloud.
"Dear, would you mind helping me out of this blasted dress?" Peggy asked.
"Of course," she stated and helped Peggy. As Peggy rattled on about the Major, Abigail tried her best to tune her out somewhat. She gave the appropriate responses when required. All she wanted to do was run out of the room and block out anything that could transpire within the next few moments.
"All done," Abigail announced.
"Thank you. You may go now," Peggy said.
Abigail was halfway out the door when Peggy said, "Tell Major Andre I require his presence this evening. I'll be waiting for him in the bath."
"Yes ma'am," Abigail responded not bothering to turn around. She closed the door behind her and let out a breath. Her fingers balled into a fist as she went to find him.
It didn't take long due to the Major coming to the bottom of the steps.
"Oh Abigail, is Ms. Shippen settled in for the night?"
"Yes," she said with a hardened edge. She quickly worked to get rid of the agitation after seeing the perplexed look on Andre's face.
"Yes and she wants you to know that she requires your presence tonight. She's waiting in the bath for you," she said.
"I see," Andre said. "Um, thank you. You are relieved of your duties tonight."
"Thank you sir," Abigail said and proceeded to walk down the steps. She brushed past him ignoring the way her hands brushed against his.
"Abigail," he called out. She halted her steps before turning to see an expression she couldn't quite decipher.
"Yes sir," she said tilting in her head in curiosity.
"Never mind. It's not important," he answered berating himself. "Good night Abigail."
She nodded and walked off to her room.
Andre stood rooted in his spot. He waited until he heard Abigail's door close to let out the breath he had been holding. He sighed heavily. He knew better. He knew the right thing. He knew the type of woman society would want him to have. He knew the ways of the world would not be kind to Abigail.
Yet, why did his heart nearly burst out of his chest when she entered a room? What was it about this woman that made him rethink many of his life choices? How did Abigail capture his heart unknowingly? Why was he the one who had to break it?
It wasn't lost on him how her hands were balled into fists while she stood on the staircase. It did not go unnoticed how tense she would get when Peggy walked into the house. At first he chalked it up to him overreacting but those brown eyes gave her away and he did not know how to handle it.
Instead, he pretended not to notice these things. He refused to acknowledge what his heart was telling him. He denied the spark even existed. He denied himself who he wanted most.
Even now as he glanced up the stairs knowing who and what was waiting for him patiently, he still had the presence of mind not to show up. He would rather knock on Abigail's door and sit with her until the sun rose but he could not allow it. He would have to settle for the fantasy and then remove it from his consciousness otherwise he would go mad.
He let his eyes wander. If only they lived in another time where things could be different. Perhaps they had a chance if the world was more accepting.
"I'm sorry my love. It should have been us. Forgive me," he said to himself as he made his way up the stairs.
