You Are The Person
Because we all need to know what was said after that door closed! (Spoilers for 4.1 if you haven't watched yet)
Sharon's POV
As I hear the door click I felt my stomach tighten into one giant knot. Why the hell did I tell him to close the door so we could talk? Why didn't I just say "Not now" like I had so many other times? He wouldn't have pushed, he never does. A year ago he told me he would wait in case I needed him and he has. Now here he is asking what I need him for. I noticed quickly that he didn't ask if I needed him for anything but what I need him for. Acknowledging what we both know already, I do in fact need him.
The last several months I had needed him more than ever. His was the number I called in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. He would listen to all of my fears, he would tell me funny stories to distract me, and he would tell me that one day they would all move past this.
I look away from him for a minute and the half empty box of protein bars in my desk drawer caught my eye. Those had magically appeared in my desk drawer about a month ago when he realized I wasn't eating. There was also the cup of tea that was sitting on my desk today when I finished with Ashley. He was never showy with these gestures in fact I am probably the only one who knows that he is doing them. Today was the first time he had crossed over from looking out for me personally to looking out for me professionally, I know that is a dangerous line for us, whatever we are.
He flashes me a crooked grin as he turns back to me, "You sure you want to do this here?" he ask.
"Yes, yes, I think so." I jumble all of my words, damn why am I so nervous.
His crooked flirty grin changes slightly into the patient understanding smile that I've seen so many times over the last year, especially the last five months.
"I need you to not look at me like that Andy." I tell him suddenly knowing how to express what I need him for.
He shakes his head in confusion, "I don't understand."
"I need you to not look at me like I am going to break at any second. I need to be able to tell you how scared I am at 2:00 in the morning but not have you trying to protect me all day. I need to be able to be honest with you about my feelings and my fears without if affecting how you act at work."
He looks down at the floor for a minute and then back at me. "I can do that, I think, but I need something from you then."
I feel the knot tighten again in my stomach, "And what is that?"
"I need you to be honest with me and talk to me at times other than 2:00 in the morning. Don't get me wrong Sharon I want to be the person that you call at 2:00 in the morning. I want to be the person you call anytime you need someone. I just want to know that it is really me that you need…"He pauses for a second looking away and then back at me, "Sharon, I need to know what we are to each other."
So there it is. The question is out there. Two questions really. Actually no, it's the same question.
"Andy." I say his name as a statement, the way I do when I want him to pay attention.
"You are the only person I ever want to call at 2:00 in the morning. You are the only person outside of my family that I have spent time with in the last five months. You are the person who gets me to go out when I need to but I want to go home. You are the person who puts food in my desk without saying a word to make sure that I eat. You are the person I count on and you are the person that I want to be with, to be more than we already are. That's what you are to me."
He looks at me and blinks a couple of times. I don't think he was expecting that much honesty but I'm tired and I just need him to know. He deserves to know.
He looks back over his shoulder towards the murder room, everyone is working but my blinds are open. He picks a file up off my desk and stands up. He walks around and the desk and I feel my heart start to beat faster. He sits on the edge of my desk and pretends to show me the file his fingers wrapping around mine.
"You are the person that I want to wake me up at 2:00 in the morning. You are the person that challenges me more than anyone else and that makes me a better man. You are the person who makes me smile just because you are there. You are the person whose world I want to make better however you will let me. You are the person I want to fall asleep next to. You are the person I want to be with."
I feel my fingers tighten around his as I look into his eyes, the desire to kiss him is stronger than ever, not now I remind myself. I smile at him.
"Well, I guess if we have that covered you should get back to work, because I would really like to have dinner with you tonight." I tell him slowly letting go of his fingers.
"Yes, Captain." He says with a wink as he turns and walks out the door.
