Disclaimer: INK isn't mine.
AN: Pardon my mistakes. It's just me sharing you my story for you to read. (This is the English version of: Con la mente y corazón)
Something of mind and heart
by: MissKaro
I
The opening ceremony of the new year concluded, and the students were forced to go to their respective classes, causing Kotoko to lose sight of Irie Naoki, of class 1-A, with whom she had been fascinated after hearing his magnificent speech that opening day to high school classes.
The reason why a newcomer had spoken to all of them, she already knew by an indiscreet question to her sensei, who explained to her that this young man was a prodigy student, that reached a perfect score to the high school's entrance examination, like he did so for the grades that preceded it, and that, apparently, with an evaluation of his intelligence, he had reached an IQ of 200.
She was simply amazed to share, at least, school with someone so impressive. After having heard him give the speech, she wouldn't have thought less. It was a shame for Kotoko that she was a student of class E, while he belonged to A. But that was not an impediment to be able to approach him and seek his friendship, for a future to tempt if something else could arose.
Naturally, she liked him, admired as she was by his presentation, where she thought of him as someone great and very firm; of course, she couldn't deny that he was a handsome. Tall, athletic, light complexion, brown hair and enigmatic eyes, of a color that she couldn't define by the distance, that next to a mysterious air, gave nothing but a respectful bearing.
Her mother would be happy to know that she had found, on that first day of school, a boy she liked. She had never seen anyone who would captivate her with a look, much less that in a low, manly voice, in a leisurely, pleasant cadence, she felt trapped.
One of those days she would approach him to introduce herself.
When the sensei made his appearance, she forced herself to push away the thoughts of her high school classmate, and soon found herself immersed in the new school environment. She worked to give her best and to pride her mother, whom, since she had memory, struggled to support them, and the best she could do was devote herself to school, until at the age of seventeen when she'd be released from her promise not to seek a part time job to help at home.
She wondered what it would've been like if her father had not died when she was six, and the restaurant might be open, but those were questions that she had no answer for, or were worth doing, because the past was over.
"Since no one is offered, the group head will be the first person on the list."
Kotoko closed her eyes with a groan, because she knew Watanabe-sensei would pronounce her name.
"Aihara."
She stood up like a spring. "Here."
"When the classes finish, you must stay so that you know your obligations."
Excellent for her, that would delay her schedule at home, only she could not refuse.
She nodded.
And so that began her school life in high school: have a guy she liked and be the group leader. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, they were two great achievements in a single day.
She would have to tell her mother at dinner.
[…]
It took two months for Kotoko to pluck up the courage to approach Irie-kun, with whom she was most delighted after observing him in his tennis practice, the days she had to stay for matters concerning her position as representative of group E.
It had been advantageous, especially since it allowed her to meet with the fellow heads of the other groups, one of which turned out to be a good source of information, Watanabe-san, which corresponded to Irie-kun's class.
Her friend Hitomi had said that luck smiled on her, because it might be a way of establishing a bond with him, since she had often seen the blond in the company of the genius. And, in addition, the two could have double dates, because her friend was attracted to the guy with glasses from A, to whom she had introduced her a few weeks ago.
That seemed too perfect; however, Kotoko knew that she was far from perfect, and could say that the good fortune of that year was the cause of that coincidence.
So that day, knowing some details of Irie-kun, and deciding to confess what she felt, she approached him when he concluded his participation in the tennis club, after classes ended. Fortunately, he was alone; though, with the exception of Watanabe-san, he almost always was.
Watching him behind him, she noticed that the tennis uniform, consisting of shorts and white sports shirt, marked his good athletic figure.
She shook her head so as not to distract herself and caught up with him.
"Irie-san," she said behind him, and he turned, with an indifferent, or rather, empty look.
This time she had the opportunity to see that his eyes were a brown color, but of a more violet tone, as only a few people in the world had. Though the empty gaze made him look rather frightening.
For a second it gave her reticence, but she decided they were strangers, so he couldn't look at her in any other way.
"Hi, I'm Aihara Kotoko, from Class E."
"What is it, Aihara-san?" he asked, with what seemed like a hint of annoyance.
She didn't want to delay him, but it was the best time, when there weren't many people at school.
She blushed under his impatient gaze and lowered her head, apologizing. She'd have written it, as she thought.
Taking a breath, she looked at him in the eyes.
"Irie-san, I like you, and I wanted to know if you would be my friend and give me a chance," she said hastily.
Irie-kun watched her with narrowed eyes before he wrinkled his nose.
"I'm not interested," he answered, walking on one side.
She was stunned and watched him walk away, unable to believe it, but the disappointment did not settle on her and ran until she reached his side, persistent as she was.
"Why cannot we be friends?"
Irie-kun gave her a cold look. "I dislike stupid people," he said.
Had he just called her that?
"Hey, but if you don't know me," she replied, indignant rather than offended.
"You belong to class E."
She gaped at him and watched him walk away.
"That does not mean I'm an idiot!" She shouted. "Irie-san, would you accept my confession if I belonged to Class A?!"
He stopped and looked at her over his shoulder, which saw him with fury and determination.
A few moments passed, in which she waited for an answer, full of nerves. Then he smiled and turned.
That meant yes?!
"You'll see, Irie-san! I'll reach that class before I finish high school! I swear it!"
She gripped her hands in the air, certain that she would, even if it was the most difficult thing in her life.
[…]
The sheet of papers of the physics book were stuck to the other, causing Kotoko to snort, trying to separate them, frustrated.
This was how her mother found her, she had spent weeks watching her study hard in the afternoons and evenings, as she hadn't done before. Yes, she studied hard to have an acceptable position in school, and at least she was not in Class F, but she had never put all the effort like she was doing now at school and studying.
From her words to Irie-kun, she had devoted all her free time to school, entirely determined to prove to the boy she liked, that she deserved an opportunity with him, and that she was not the stupid one he took on.
He did not offend her, she understood that for an intelligent man like him, it must be disagreeable to relate to someone of little ability, rather than to consider other aspects of personality, and had not taken with great affection that he had rejected her for it, so she had continued with her campaign to reach Class A at least, at third grade. Even if she was the last of the group.
Thanks to her mother, she understood the value of striving to get what she wanted. Etsuko Aihara, after being widowed, with the death of her husband in an accident while going to buy ingredients for his then restaurant, had to leave home and find a way to keep a six-year-old daughter, once the savings that they had run out. The place where her father worked was not his own, and as much as her mother had wanted to continue the business, she lacked culinary skills-and still did not have them; Kotoko, thanks to a foolish neighbor, learned little, just to feed them both.
With the death of Shigeo Aihara, her mother was forced to go out into the world of work, where her constant clumsiness, and her unfinished high school studies for not passing the term test, were a strong impediment to being accepted. She faced many difficulties, only by not giving up, she managed to get ahead.
Kotoko had seen her fight a lot and admired her for it, because she was just as distracted and clumsy, and Kotoko knew how complicated it could be. But it was her example to keep on, for she didn't surrender to the adversity.
And so she wanted to make her feel proud.
What was happening with Irie-kun, was another test, not an obstacle or a situation to get discouraged, she would give the best of it. She liked him... she wanted to show him that she could keep her oath and be in his class, and deserve, in the beginning, his friendship.
"Will you tell me why you overreach, my heart?" Kotoko looked up at her mother, so similar to her, and for a moment she left her fight with the book of Physics. "You've been too devoted to studying for a couple of months, more than usual in you. I'm worried."
She smiled at her mother, who arranged a little of her red hair behind her ear.
"Irie-kun."
"Yes?" Her mother muttered, leaning more comfortably on her chair, her eyes excited. "Is for him?"
She nodded. "I told him that I liked him and he said that he didn't like unintelligent people, so I decided to show him that I am not, until I reach his class."
Her mother frowned, and her brown eyes, like her own, looked worried.
"Is not it going too far?"
"Mom, he's a genius ... that's why he couldn't like someone who seems unintelligent."
"But... Kotoko, if you have to be in his class and change for him to like you, it isn't wrong?"
She wrinkled her mouth. "I had not thought so," she said aloud. "My idea is that once I reach his class, he'd know me, as I am. Not by raising my grades I have to change."
"Love, if that's so, that's fine. I don't want you to have to change for someone. Dad," her mother sighed wistfully, as every time she mentioned him, "Shigeo, he loved me for what I was... and we both know how we are. The person who loves you should not expect you to be different, just to be with him."
"And I don't want to change just for him to like me," she grumbled. "I'm just going to show him that I'm not such a bad student. To enter Tonan, I didn't study to reach a very high class, just to get in. Now I do want to go on a superior class... and... also... I thought it would help me to go to college... I want you to feel proud of me."
Her mother smiled and welcomed her into one of her mother's embraces. "Kotoko, I'm already proud of you. Do your best to show Irie-kun what we're made of!"
"Yes!"
[…]
Unfortunately for Kotoko, it was much easier said than done. If it hadn't been for Mathematics and Physics, she might have gotten good marks on all the tests at the end of the first trimester, but those subjects were her martyrdom, she couldn't understand them properly.
Her longed-for goal, well, she saw it far away because of so many numbers and problems with unknowns that exists only to ruin her life.
And not even a tutor or extra classes could be paid, which serve to increased her torment; they barely could save a little after the end of the month, and to use that money in a goal whose main cause was selfish, it seemed embarrassing to her. It required more effort and open mind.
She was not about to give up, but she wasn't going to abuse at home for the idea of a boy accepting her.
"Silly Physics, dumb Mathematics," she mumbled, pounding her head at the Arithmetic book, thanking that few people were in the library, although it might have been because it was the beginning of the trimester, and few saw the interest to go there.
"What is it, Aihara-san? Do you have problems?" She stopped short in Watanabe-san's voice, and turned to answer him, but she froze to see that he was accompanied by Irie-kun.
Only two A boys, of the best grade, would be in that place of school facilities in that trimester time.
Nervously, she avoided Irie-kun's gaze, and looked at her Class A friend; what she would have given for not being as ashamed as she was and ask him to explain a couple of subjects.
"I cannot figure it out," she said in a whisper, finding herself comforted by the blond's sympathetic gaze, who smiled slightly in support.
It would have been great to be attracted to him, but it was not that way... and her friend Hitomi and he seemed to have something between them. Besides, the heart was not so easily commanded.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Aihara-san. I'd like to help you, I'm just a little short of time, so I cannot offer you my help."
Wasn't he a great guy?
She was excited... he had already volunteered, so one day she could consult him with some doubts.
"Do you think that…"
"I know," interrupted her Watanabe-san, without seeming to have heard her, and she watched him look at his companion. "Irie, would you mind? She's Aihara Kotoko-san, group head of Class E. Do you mind..."
She was alarmed by what her friend insinuated. "Hey, Watanabe-san," she cut off. "Another day you..."
"If you accept it, Aihara-san." She kept the word in her mouth and focused her gaze on Irie-kun, who had just spoken, interrupting her.
Would he explain the issues? Didn't it bother him? It was incredible! He was definitely a great guy, although it was pitiful considering the circumstances. Nor were they friends, and him helping her could be considered a trap. Also, teaching her what topics she didn't know was reinforcing the idea that she might be stupid.
"Are you serious?" she asked, attentive to the face of Irie-kun, that didn't change of emotion at any moment.
"Aihara-san, I'm sure Irie is willing, he doesn't acept for things he's not going to do. Thank you, Irie."
"Yes, thank you very much," she said with a smile, offering him a respectful inclination, obviating the thrill of having him near her and being her tutor. If she did not concentrate on her main goal, thinking of him, she would fail.
"Excellent, guys, I have to go, I'll go to the book I was looking for and I'm leaving. Good luck, Aihara-san, see you tomorrow, Irie."
The latter nodded equanimously and took the empty spot beside her.
"What you do not understand?"
She sighed, almost soundly, and ran to open the book on the page that corresponded, pointing to it. It was a method to solve quadratic equations, where the first one, x squared, had a number, a coefficient, next to the letter. She couldn't find the right answer.
He watched for a second and nodded. "I'll explain it only once, so listen."
She nodded.
Then Irie-kun began to explain, and somehow, it was as if his words opened a way in her head, making her understand easily.
She could definitely claim him to be a genius, because he taught the subject much better than her teacher.
[...]
A few days later, Kotoko was more certain about the topics in the two subjects that she had problems, which made it easier for her to understand some of the other lessons, but with the introduction of new subjects, she had difficulty, because it was complicated.
The hour and a half that Irie-kun explained everything, was excellent, yes, but she was aware of not overstepping the mark, thus she didn't dare to ask for his help again.
So she was hesitant about Class A, hoping that Hitomi-chan's new boyfriend would come out for lunch, for her to be able to ask him if he would explain a couple of things—and help her in the future—hoping she would have it at hand something that could be used as payment. Her friend had reassured her a little by telling her that his parents had money and he wouldn't need it as retribution, but that left her with less possibilities. What could she give him in return?
She had decided that she should first talk to him, with great embarrassment, and then she would solve it. It was just Mathematics and Physics, and little things she did not really understand—for now—so it would not be too heavy, like asking him to help her in everything, which she did see as imposing.
Almost as if she invoked him, Watanabe-san appeared on the other side of the dor, next to Irie-kun, and smiled at her, after modifying the look of surprise on his face.
"Can I ask you something, Watanabe-san?" she asked timidly, shifting her weight from foot to foot.
He nodded, and they stepped away from the door, while Irie-kun leaned against the wall next to it, waiting for his friend.
"What's happening, it's about Hitomi?"
Kotoko bit her lower lip and denied.
"I wanted to know if you could be my tutor in some subjects in Physics and Mathematics... I will pay you anyway, but I don't understand some lessons of those subjects and I am very interested in doing well in the tests," she said quickly, almost without breathing .
Watanabe-san took a few seconds to respond, as if making sense of her words.
"That's it. I wouldn't mind helping a friend, and you're also friends with Hitomi, You don't have to pay me for it."
She giggled. "Eh, but it's not a very temporary situation, I know I'll need it in the next few lessons, and it would be an abuse."
"Oh, don't worry, but I don't know if I'd have all the time, I have to take care of my cousins, and helping them to study in the afternoons, weekends would be more feasible."
She closed her eyes in frustration. "I would not be able to have those days, I have a weekend job at a supermarket. Thank you, anyway."
Just when she'd gotten her mother to relieve her of the promise not to work, there was such an opportunity, something must be.
"Wait." Watanabe-san held her when she was about to leave. "It's not that impossible. Irie?"
"No, Watanabe-san, I would be ashamed with him."
"I'm sure you won't lose much by asking."
"But…"
"What happen?" Kotoko wanted to be somewhere else and decided that it was best to see that dream come true, rather than receive Irie-kun's rudeness.
"No, no, I'll see how, Watanabe-san. Thank you very much, see you."
Even if it was impolite, she walked away without an answer, her face so hot that she felt her ears tickling. It was better to avoid embarrassment.
[...]
As she had guessed, in the mid-second-trimester exams, the results she obtained were much better than the previous occasion, with areas of everything but Mathematics and Physics with more than notorious grades. The other two subjects increased results, as well, related to the explanations of Irie-kun, but the parts that involved different subjects, she had only flaws. She barely got right one, and that was because she did it by fate, as the solution turned out to be true.
It was tiring to have to study at the same time as working, and she could say that they were good results, although not enough to advance classes, rather than D.
She was not extremely physically exhausted, but her mind, with the constant repetitions that she had to do well and the frustration of not getting a solution to those two problematic subjects, was a little tired.
She had never thought so much in her life.
The positive thing was that with her salary, they had been able to increase the savings at home, and she could afford to arrange a bracelet of her mother, given to her by her father, that had been broken. In addition, she had been able to spend less than a year to taste one of her favorite sweets, for she rarely fell into unnecessary expenses like that, even if the money was enough.
And she had bought one for Watanabe-san, who had explained a subject to her, because he insisted on doing it, during a period of rest. He also explained to Hitomi, but he had managed to get her to pick up the subject, and had the opportunity to get right one question, althought it was pure luck.
It was not that the boy didn't know, or that he was a bad teacher, because he got her friend to obtain incredible results on the subject, but there was something in the method of Irie-kun that did manage to penetrate her mind, not like the ineffective way of Watanabe-san.
Now she felt slightly repentant for her impulsiveness and stubbornness about not asking for help from Irie-kun, but there was nothing she could do. She didn't take advantage of the opportunity that the other presented to her.
She had to think better before acting, when it was something important.
She wasn't a friend of Irie-kun's to ask him now something like that, so she was already resigned. And a little discouraged.
That she would continue to fight to reach the site in class A, that nor doubt. It would be hard work; she would not give up... it was a slight rest and protest of her mind.
Especially being in the library like at the moment, without going home.
That was already integrated into her routine, so being there didn't surprise her or hinder her activities.
She sighed and hit the physics book with the eraser of her pencil. She would pause her study five minutes. And the next half hour she would be immersed in it, and then go home.
"You don't understand?"
Irie-kun's voice made her shriek in a way that the librarian told her to shut up, frowning.
She turned to Irie-kun and saw him with his mouth curled.
"Don't appear like that, you'll scare me to death," she chided with one hand on her chest.
"It would only raise your blood pressure or your glucose levels," he replied, with a little mockery.
She shrugged. "Okay, yes." She noted to look for what the glucose was. "But that doesn't mean you can go around scaring people," she warned.
"Are you lecturing me?" inquired Irie-kun, with a raised eyebrow.
She blushed. "I... I'm sorry. I'm nothing from you to do it."
"It's true, and so far, no one apart from my mother had done it."
"Sorry then."
"No, you're right about what you say, Aihara." He cleared his throat. "You didn't answer me."
She tried to erase what his admission had caused in her mind and concentrated on remembering the question.
She had to sigh, putting aside who was asking her. "No, Mathematics, Physics and I, we're not friends, they're so difficult," she said, closing her eyes in dismay.
The worst was not that, but that he witnessed that she was lousy and could corroborate that not so deserving of his friendship.
"Watanabe said you work on the weekends and that's why he cannot explain you."
Kotoko opened her eyes and nodded at Irie-kun's words, a little embarrassed to require someone else to help her out of class, as if she couldn't understand the lessons, being a fool.
"In the week, you'll have a single chance to ask about what you don't know, Tuesdays after school, when I come to the library for an hour."
She would surely have her eyes to get out of their sockets.
Was he offering himself? Really?
"For real?" She asked incredulously.
He nodded, without changing his expression, without, well, expression.
"What can I give you in return? I don't have much money, but I work and..."
"That's not necessary, I'll think of something later," he interrupted, speaking in neutral tone.
Kotoko, pushing away the shame, felt totally grateful and overwhelmed, so much that her eyes became wet and quickly felt tears wetting her cheeks.
"You're great, thank you very much..." she said smiling.
He gave her a strange look.
She hiccuped. "I will try harder to be in your class," she said.
"We'll see," she heard his grumbling. "Come on, tell me what before I regret it," he sneered.
She, nodding swiftly, set about doing it.
AN2: As some of you may know, English is not my first language, so if I there were parts with mistakes, help me.
This is part one, out of two. I'm half way throught the second. It's just me working, not like "Imperfect girlfriend", so this has more errors. Btw, next chapter of that fic is being checked.
Karo.
