This generally follows canon, but will veer into uncharted waters. Chapters may be out of chronological order. Krista/Ymir is (so far) just a minor part of the story.


Mikasa knew it was wrong. It was too cold and dark to be out of bed so early. She hadn't slept well. It was that dream where it was all just screaming. She wondered if it had been the same for Annie. Annie, the only other person awake so long before dawn, sharing this cold empty field in silence.

She listened to Annie's fists and legs as they sliced through nothing, beating the shit out of air. She could hear her short panting breaths and something in Mikasa's stomach took flight. Her own muscles were like a collared dog's, and it felt good to use them. For a second she was honestly enjoying the training, until she remembered it was all just an act.

When they'd finished their "training", Mikasa turned towards her. She could just make out Annie's dead set expression and the sweat on her brow. Sometimes just looking at her was like trying to breathe underwater. Her chest was heaving, and sweat rolled down the small of her back. They both knew what was next, without even having to speak a single word to one another.

Annie turned away from her and stalked across the field towards the storeroom. Mikasa followed. The way Annie pushed the door open was so desperate that Mikasa felt it in her gut. It was dark inside, and smelled like sweat and leather. Annie had walked to the opposite wall and stood with her back to Mikasa, her head tilted slightly down. Mikasa approached her, and pressed her chest against Annie's back. She placed a heavy hand on Annie's shoulder and leaned forward to whisper into her ear.

"Don't turn around."

With all the efficiency of a trained fighter, Mikasa pulled Annie's arm up behind her and twisted it. Annie bit her bottom lip to keep the moan from escaping, hard enough to almost break the skin. It wasn't the pain in her arm, or the harsh fingers wrapped around her throbbing wrist. It wasn't pain that welled up from the depths of her and soared to her throat to try to rip itself from her lips.

It was need.

Annie kept it in. She, more than anyone, knew how to keep a thing inside. Her composure was second to none. Mikasa used her powerful body to pin Annie up against the storeroom wall. The cold stone made her nipples harden and ache. She pinned her, like she thought Annie might try to run. They both knew otherwise. This was the reason they had woken up. This would be what they had to look forward to. Thinking about the next time would get them through the days. How long had it been, since they started playing this dangerous game?

Annie coveted Mikasa's slow, rasping gasps, hot and breathy at the exposed skin at the nape of her neck. Of course she'd go for that, Annie realized. Mikasa Ackerman. Always so diligent. Such a quick learner. The teeth against Annie's skin broke down her defenses while breaking the skin, and there was nothing left to stop her needy sounds. She could feel her face get hot and red when she felt Mikasa's lips curve up to form a smile.

Mikasa's own calm was threatening to fade. She could feel Annie's moans at the very core of her. She shoved her free hand down Annie's pants with an urgency that surprised herself. She could feel it. The sting of guilt; the wounded pride. Her own strong heart sickened by such a base need. She, who was the very best of them, reduced to such desperation.

It was her fault, of course. Her quiet strength, the golden glinting blonde of her hair in the light, the crook of her nose. All of it. Her fault. The reason for this downfall. Falling, yes, but Mikasa told herself it would not be her knees that would buckle. It would not be her thighs that shook and strained. She would walk away easily, afterwards. She was doing this; it was not being done to her.

Annie bucked her hips and slammed a fist into the wall in front of her. She was warm against Mikasa's body, warmer still against her hand. A warmth more potent than even the warmth of the scarf. A stranger heat that Mikasa felt the absence of, in the night, alone, in her bunk, while Krista's muffled sighs came forth through silent darkness like a curse.

Ymir and Krista. Damn those two. It was so easy for them to be themselves. But who was she, Mikasa wondered. This warrior, in the dark before the sunrise, with her hand between Annie's legs, stroking her into sweet oblivion. The top of her class. An orphan. A champion. Or was she anything? Anything at all?

"Come for me," she whispered into Annie's ear.

Annie's eyes widened, and the sound of Mikasa's voice poured over and through her like liquid heat. She let go. Her body jerked, and her stomach tensed against Mikasa's forearm. She cried out as she came, grasping at the wall as her legs lost their strength. Mikasa held her up, and continued to hold her even after she had finished. She let her hand rest on Annie's own throbbing heat. Annie was gasping and sweating, like Sasha after laps.

"It's almost dawn." Mikasa's voice was quiet and smooth, distant; retreating. She kept her hand still. Annie tried inching her hips forward to rub against her fingers, but Mikasa pressed her own hips forward and held her still.

"We can't do this forever," Mikasa whispered. The words carved a deep hollow that both of them felt. The silence crept into the absence like an animal waiting to die.

Annie felt sharpened; honed like the blade of a knife. "Can't we?" She asked as she pushed her hips back against Mikasa's own, pressing her ass up against her until she heard Mikasa's defeated sigh. "Once more, that's it," Annie begged, and when she heard her own voice she felt like it belonged to someone else.

Mikasa paused, but after a moment she pressed a finger inside.