In the early days of the civil war, Steve moved out of the tower and Clint hated how it took a hit on him. Everyone was slowly breaking off and friendships were crumbling. Steve leaving was just the first thing to happen. Hoping it could help, maybe gain better insight from a distance, fix the crumbling relationship of he and Tony.
But it didn't help. The distance made things worse. Without Steve to help ground Tony, make sure he eats regularly and actually sleeps more then four hours every other day he slowly degraded. They fought more, mostly over the phone, sometimes in person and it was always full of harsh words that were meant to hit a nerve.
Clint accidentally walked in on one of these phone fights, he stopped, not quite sure what he was hearing until it sunk in that it was Tony on the phone with Steve. It hurt more then it should that Tony told Steve that "I hope Barnes runs away. He'l probably be taken by HYDRA again because you weren't there, as usual."
Clint wasn't so hungry anymore.
He went back to his room, over thinking what Tony said, wondering how it came to this, feeling fucking terrified he's gonna lose his family.
Then the Super Hero Registration Act happened with Tony's go ahead. Some of the Avengers signed, agreeing with it and others were against it, fighting it, saying it could get into the wrong hands and whatnot.
Honestly Clint lost track what everyone was saying because he just saw his family breaking apart and it hurt. It felt like someone was twisting his heart to its limit and it got hard to breath at times.
It had to quietly excuse himself to have his anxiety attack in peace. But half way thru locking himself in his quarters, head in his hands, gripping so tightly hair might start breaking and trying not to pass out from hyperventilating he heard the quiet hiss of his door open. He didn't even look up. He knew who it was.
Still didn't help at his most vulnerable that he's jumpy. Natasha put a hand on his shoulder, to announce her presence but he still jumped like he was being attacked. Getting in a fighting stance quickly before seeing red curls and a soft face and achingly familiar voice.
"Hey tough guy. Doing ok?" Clint swallowed down his anxiety, still feeling hurt and tears prickle his eyes. "Tasha. Arnt you supposed to be at the debrief?" His breath was still heavy and fast, his body tensed and coiled.
She shrugged. Sitting in his bed casually. As if there family wasn't breaking apart. "A little bird told me those debriefs are bullshit." Clint couldn't help but start to calm down in her presence. "I wonder who." He moved, sitting down next to her, leaning his head on her shoulder. She brought hers arms around him. He relaxed, letting himself be vulnerable in the privacy of his quarters with his best friend.
She gently started petting his hair back before speaking. "We're gonna have to fight." "Not the first time." "They want us to fight our family." He let out a breath before repeating himself quietly. "Not the first time." It was Natasha's turn to let off some weight, letting out a sigh that sounded pained, like it had been held in for a long time. "There's a war coming. There expecting us to fight, possibly kill the only people who became family." He just held her closer, feeling so small.
He sometimes forgot how young they are compared to the others. Just two kids wanting there fighting to be over. Natasha sniffled before straightening up, looking Clint in his eyes. "Let's go get pizza. At your favorite place." He gave her a look. "But there's a war going on. " She let go of him, standing up. "We'l be back but for now let's skip out on the formalities and get some comfort food. At least until shell-head and cap are off there periods." He snickered at her high school level joke and stood. "Alright. Maybe we should pick up some chocolate to throw at them if things get too bad." She smirked, opening the door. "Might calm them down."
They snuck to the garage, Clint starting the SUV as Natasha got in the passenger side. As Clint drove out of the garage he spoke. "Laura thinks if they would stop fighting each other and talk they could find a compromise." "Laura is not wrong but Tony has too much guilt and Steve has too much righteousness to hear any other conclusion."
He drove down the busy New York City road, driving toward the tower and just past it. It was a little hole in the wall pizza place that barely anybody knew about. He parked, getting out, feeling the crisp,cold air of November.
He stopped on the sidewalk. It hit him.
Tomorrow was thanksgiving. He said it out loud. "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Corse. Our family would fall apart on this holiday. " Natasha stopped, seeing the lost look on his face. She went to him. "Hey, no thinking about that. We're here for pizza. " he smiled weakly, ignoring the ache the realization gave him. "Pizza makes everything better."
They say down, ordered there pizza then Clint started going on about the kids and how good they were doing in school or how bratty they were but he didn't mind that. He always thought a sassy kid was a smart kid. He smiled. "He had to do a report about his hero." Natasha smirked. "Now why would he chose you?" He gave her a look and smiled. "Naw. Not me. It's was Captain America. " He hates how when he spoke about either of them it left this looming cloud above him.
Natasha seemed to see it. Reaching out her hand to his to comfort him. "He's still a good guy. Tony to. There just a little lost." He shook his head. "There expecting us to chose between our friends. Family. " "Then don't. Chose between there points. Ignore who is behind the point." "So pure logic?" She sipped her coffee. "Yep." He gave a weak smile. Then waiter came, placing there X-large pizza on the table.
It took a minute of thinking and prodding of why the pizza was making his heart ache even worse. Then it hit him. "Coulson would be so disappointed if he was here." This pizza was his favorite. Cheese with extra sauce. After missions if they were near a pizza place they would unwind at one and talk. Natasha gave a soft smirk. "If Coulson was here he'd slap some sense into those idiots. " "with a taser
They both shared a small laugh before a somber silence took over. Clint stared out the window. Feeling an ache at seeing a classic red mustang pull in. "I miss him." Natasha signaled a waiter, asking for a Togo box. "Com'on Clint. Let's go somewhere more appropriate." Clint gave her a look before standing, following her best friend.
Two hours later Natasha was helping hold Clint up, unlocking his door to his apartment. Clint giggled, hugging her. "Natasha...your my best friend." She gave a smile, carrying him in. Getting him to his bedroom. "I know Clint. Your my best friend to." She got him on the bed. He continued, laying face up, watching her walk around the room. "I love you. I'd give my life protecting you." He sat next to him, petting his hair. She smiled softly. Trying not to laugh at his drunken antics. He was a lovable drunk. "I know Clint. And I'd give you mine." "Your not gonna leave me to are you?"
Natasha looked at him confused. "Of corse not. None of us is going to leave you." Clint let out a scoff sound. "Yeah. That's what they said. That's what people say but they always leave in the end. I mean, parents died, Barney, left me for dead. Coulson died and then shield wanted nothing to do with me because I was Loki's puppet." Natasha was about to say something when he cut her off. His eyes watering.
"With Laura. You. It's only a matter of time. I mean..Bruce left. Steve left the tower. Tony's never around. Just..if you leave Tasha just... just leave because it hurts too much to say goodbye." A few tears fell down his cheek and on the blanket. Natasha felt her own eyes water.
She blocked a lot of the pain and fear of there new family abandoning her but Clint saying all she feared and had buried so deeply. It felt like a fresh wound. She wiped her eyes, laying down next to him, wrapping her arms around him, holding him close. "I promise Clint. Your stuck with me."
