A/N: This is an Anti-Twilight (sort of) fic. And if that doesn't show much in this chapter, it will in the next. This fic is what happens when Bella's transformation from human to vampire isn't so god mode sueish.


Watching him through her newly formed eyes, she feels an odd emotion sweep through her—hunger. She can feel it in every inch of her, clawing at her. She is breathing hard before she knows, fighting against the unknown force that is trying to control her.

"Bella," The voice is distant, and she hears it as though she is deep in the water. A hand presses onto her shoulder. Gentle, but firm. She releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

She looks at him with eyes full of sorrow and he realizes then and there that it was a mistake. And he has to turn away from those eyes. Once beautiful brown—now ugly red. He hates himself for what he did to her.

"Edward," She breathes it barely a whisper. And were it not for his super hearing he doubts he would've even heard it. He forces himself to face her. He loves her too much to not. He loves her too much to let go. And his hand grips a little harder.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, voice constricted with emotion. She doesn't say anything and it kills him. He loves her too much. He grips her harder, as if afraid that if he lets go, she'll disappear. He grips her too hard, and were it not for the fact that she was now one of his kind, he would probably destroy her; he grips her even harder.

"It's Charlie," She says, almost out of the blue; but he knows better. "It's Charlie," She repeats, as if he hadn't heard her with perfect clarity the first time.

"It's Charlie—and I want to eat him." She chokes out the word with such disgust that Edward feels the air sucked out of his lungs. "It's Charlie." She says so helplessly that he desperately wishes he could make it all better. But he can't. Because he loved her too much. Because he loves her too much.

"I'm sorry," He repeats dumbly as she begins to cry onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry." It's all he can do to not cry himself.

He wishes he didn't love her so much.


next chapter has a more cynical and bitter Bella; you are forewarned.