A/N: Welcome back :)


Clarke rolled the bloodied chip in her palm. Her whole body was aching. She had tried. They both had. But it still wasn't enough.

The grey mansion was only a few hundred meters away, but they would never make it. It was too prepared for them.

Lexa clutched Clarke's body tighter against her chest, her lips brushing against the wispy blonde hairs at her hair line. "You're going to be okay, Clarke." Lexa muttered, before growling low in her throat. "Anya! Pull back! Pull them all back!"

Even with the Commander bellowing her orders, Clarke could barely hear her voice over the sound of the raging fires around them.

Clarke's whole body seized with pain the moment she tried to rise to her feet. She felt her mouth lulling open uselessly. The pressure in her skull was unbearable and she wanted nothing more than to scream her pain onto the battlefield beneath their feet.

She wasn't sure how much time passed, but slowly, through the haze of fog that had settled in her mind, Clarke realised she was walking. Lexa was tucked under her arm and clutching her around the middle, practically carrying her away from their goal.

Even through her pain, Clarke was still holding the chip tightly in her hand. The little blue object gave nothing away of its true power. It was so small, but it had changed so much.


2 Months Earlier

It should have been a time of peace and healing.

Just three days ago, Clarke had witnessed Lexa hew the former Ice Queen's hand from her arm. She had watched as Lexa claimed victory over the woman, who had forced them into a war no one had wanted.

It seemed funny to Clarke that a small blue chip was threatening to unfurl all of that.

Clarke watched Lexa as she continued pacing the space at the end of her bed. The imposing wooden frame and headboard were still as impressive as the first time Clarke had seen them. There was something in the way the patterns swirled together that always drew her attention.

Flicking her gaze back to Lexa, Clarke let out a sigh at the sight of her lover tightly flexing her hands behind her back. The expression on Lexa's face was a familiar one. Clarke had seen the barely controlled anger bubbling beneath the surface before. It hadn't been since before the Mountain that she had seen it directed at herself though.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Lexa suddenly snapped.

Clarke bristled at her words. "Sorry, I was a bit busy trying to help you win a war."

"Mockery isn't-"

"The product of a strong mind?" Clarke bit back. "Yeah, I got that the first time you told me." Lexa's lip snarled up at her retort, but Clarke didn't back down under her angry glare.

Lexa began her pacing anew, her head shaking as she muttered to herself in Trigedasleng.

When Clarke had shown Lexa the chip, the panic had been clear to see in her green eyes.

"She's back."

That was the last thing Lexa had said to her before her whole demeanour had changed. A demeanour Clarke was quickly beginning to lose her patience with.

"What did you mean when you said she was back?" Clarke asked, trying her hardest to keep her teeth from gritting together.

Lexa stopped her pacing again, but before she could answer a knock at the door interrupted them.

"Wanheda?" A voice called.

Lexa's expression hardened as she marched across the room and flung the door open. Immediately, the guard stumbled backwards and out of Clarke's sight, caught completely unaware by the abrupt appearance of his enraged Heda.

"You will not interrupt us again!" Lexa roared at him. "Am I understood?!"

"Ye- Yes, Heda."

Clarke winced at the sound of the glass rattling in the door as Lexa slammed it shut again. The room descended into silence, even the noise from the busy streets of Polis seemed suddenly muted.

With a quick turn on her heel, Lexa resumed her angry pacing.

"Lexa, I don't know what this is." Clarke protested. "All I know is Jaha came wandering back into Arkadia with a backpack full of the things and that they apparently erase pain."

Lexa's pacing halted, her head jerking up to reveal a look of disbelief. "Your people are using them?!"

"No!" Clarke instantly denied. "Well, Jaha and Raven implanted them, but I had the rest of them locked away."

"They're locked away." Lexa sighed and the tension in her shoulders seemed to disappear. With another heavy exhale, the brunette sat on the edge of the couch and dropped her head into her hands.

Clarke could feel her own irritation growing, despite Lexa's calmer posture. "Are you going to explain what's happening? Or who the hell she is?"

Without so much as acknowledging her questions, Lexa began running her hands over her face. With each moment that past, the anger Lexa had been radiating gradually started to dissipate.

It didn't stop Clarke's own annoyance from spiking at her extended silence though.

"We call her Ker. What you hold is her seed." Lexa finally replied.

Despite herself, Clarke edged closer. She recognised the name from the thick books she had read at the back of the Ark's library. "Ker? As in the goddess of death?"

Lexa looked up at her for the first time since she had sat down. "The one who brought fire from the sky and destroyed our world. The person who brought death to us all."

"The nuclear strikes..." Clarke ventured quietly. "Your people think it was one person who caused the world to end up like this?"

Lexa nodded. "And they are correct to think so. It's true."

Clarke stepped nearer to the couch, her head shaking gently. "Lexa, you can't know that."

"Why?"

"Because—" Clarke cut herself off, trying to think of a way to say what she had to without offending the woman she loved. "We don't even know why it happened." From the way Lexa angrily furrowed her brow, Clarke knew she had failed.

"Your people thought there was no life here. They are not all knowing, Clarke." Lexa snapped.

Clarke swallowed the first angry retort that sprung to mind. Arguing would get them nowhere. It was getting them nowhere. "What I meant is, we had access to every news record, official and unofficial, from the time the bombs started going off until there was no one left to record them. None of them ever figured out why."

Lexa seemed to relax at her words. "There are stories, history, that only the new Heda learns during their ascension – when the spirit of the Commander becomes one with their own."

The talk of spirits and voices of the previous Commander's was something Clarke could never quite reconcile—

The voices.

The chip in Clarke's hand was still a mystery, but she was starting to wonder if maybe it didn't just suppress pain.

When she talked to Jaha at Arkadia, there was something in the way he looked over her shoulder. It was as if there were someone else in the room with them. The same thing had happened with Raven. It was like they were talking to someone only they could see and hear.

Just like the voices only Lexa claimed to hear.

"The scar on the back of your neck..." Clarke stalled, swallowing nervously. There was a part of her that didn't want to know Lexa's answer to her next question. "Was it for a chip?"

Lexa furrowed her brow at the term. "It was for the flame, yes."

"So you have one of these," Clarke gestured to the chip between her finger and thumb, "in the back of your neck?"

"Yes."

Clarke reeled at the revelation. She knew about Lexa's scar. She knew that was exactly how Raven had the chip inserted. Yet a part of her hadn't wanted to think about what that might mean for Lexa.

Clarke shook her head as she tried to comprehend what Lexa was telling her. "But, I don't understand, you feel pain."

Lexa looked confused again. "I might be the Commander, but I am not immune to things that hurt me."

"The chip Raven had, it stopped her feeling the pain in her leg. It stopped her feeling the pain of losing Finn. For Jaha, he stopped remembering his dead son."

"I can still feel the pain of loss, Clarke."

Costia.

Lexa had felt the loss of her first love so much, she had tried to shut herself from ever feeling it again. The pain she felt was what motivated her to try and stop feeling at all. Clarke gave into her need to be at Lexa's side and dropped down onto the couch beside her.

"The seed of Ker is not the same as the flame I carry." There was still an uncertainty wriggling in the back of Clarke's mind though, an uneasiness she didn't want to put a name to. Clarke startled when Lexa suddenly took her hand into her own. "They must be destroyed."

Clarke nodded and tried to clear her mind of troubling feeling Lexa's confession ignited. The radio Clarke brought with her from Arkadia had lost power days ago, so destroying the chips would have to wait until her return.

"I'll do it as soon as I'm back." Clarke quietly assured Lexa whilst gently squeezing her hand. The guards were still waiting in the corridor, ready to take her to her people. It didn't feel right to be leaving though.

Despite Lexa's calmer tone, Clarke could still feel the weight of their earlier argument. "I should go. Are you still coming down to the gates?"

"No." Clarke turned her head away from the sight of their joined hands, her heart seizing in her chest. "I'm coming with you."

Clarke twisted her head back towards her lover, but before she could reply, Lexa was already standing up.

Lexa opened the door, summoning the guard who had apparently scurried off down the corridor with a demanding shout of his name.

"Bring Titus to me."


Clarke could still feel the uneasy tension between them as they waited for Titus to arrive. Lexa had returned to her seat on the couch but there was a distance separating them that Clarke wasn't used to any more.

They had argued before. When they were planning their assault on the Mountain, Clarke had sometimes purposefully pushed the Commander into a corner to get a reaction out of the usually stoic woman. But it had never felt like this.

Clarke looked across at Lexa again. The brunette had her eyes closed, but Clarke could see the way they darted around under her eyelids. It wasn't the first time Clarke had witnessed Lexa meditate, but the calm and tranquillity the activity usually radiated seemed lost in the strain between them.

She wondered what Lexa was seeing. What she was hearing. Were the voices of the Commander's talking to her now? Were the advising her of what to do?

A loud knock shattered the silence in the room, making Clarke quickly look away when Lexa's eyes flew open.

"Enter!"

The door opened immediately, revealing the ever glum form of Titus. Clarke was sure his face was already starting to look thinner. Tentatively, Titus made his way into the room before clicking the door shut behind him.

His dark eyes settled on Clarke for only the briefest of moments before he looked to his leader. "You wanted to see me, Heda?"

Lexa rose to her feet. "I need to leave Polis." Her hands tucked behind her back. "Today."

Titus lost the stiffness in his shoulders instantly, his face looking completely exasperated. "So close to the-"

All it took was one word for Lexa to cut his argument short. "Ker."

Clarke watched Titus's expression closely. First he widened his eyes, then slackened his jaw, before the disbelief finally settled in. He visibly swallowed and shook his head. "You are sure?"

With a slight turn of her head, Lexa looked over her shoulder towards Clarke. "Show him."

Clarke eyed the Titus warily, but pulled the chip out of her pocket regardless. "Here." She said as she approached him. "There's more at Arkadia."

Titus held out his hand, letting Clarke drop the little object onto his palm. "I thought they had been lost." He muttered before holding the chip over the light of one of the many candles lining Lexa's room. "Where did Skaikru find them?"

"I don't know." Clarke answered, silently wishing she had tried to get more information from Jaha before leaving for war.

Titus glared at her. "You bring the weapon of our peoples greatest enemy to Polis, to our capitol, and you don't know where it came from?"

"Titus." Lexa said in warning.

"The Skaikru bring us danger. They bring you danger, Heda. This..." He practically waved the chip at them, "this is not a mistake. This is an omen. The Skaikru bring death."

"I did not bring you here to discuss the threat Skaikru do or do not pose to this coalition." Lexa was seething already, her whole body taught with the power of her authority. "The enemy is within the walls of Arkadia. If we move swiftly we can stop her before she begins!"

Titus's jaw tightened, his hand clutching around the chip. Clarke almost expected the Fleimkepa to continue arguing, but with Lexa's unyielding gaze still trained on him, he seemed to lose all fight before quietly responding. "Of course, Heda." He then focused his attention to Clarke, holding out the chip for her to take. "Make sure this one is destroyed too."

Clarke quickly stashed the little device back into her pocket.

"I will have arrangements made..." Titus began before drifting off, his brow knitting together. "You have not been struck by the Natblida's sickness in many moons. No one would question your body succumbing to sickness at such testing times."

Lexa nodded her consent. "We will take the Southern tunnels out of the city."

"We? Surely Wanheda should be meeting her people-"

"Anya will be coming with me, as my guard." Lexa explained. "She saw me through my illnesses as a child, no one will suspect her absence as anything more than treating her Heda."

Titus made no move to deny her request. "And Nia?"

Lexa looked to Clarke. The blonde hadn't seen Nia since her failed bid to kill Lexa in the throne room, but the healers of Polis often brought her news of the fallen Ice Queen's recovery as she worked beside them.

"The healers said she'll be able to move in the next couple of days." Clarke informed them both.

"Have the Floukru move her quietly, before dawn." Lexa instructed Titus. "I will not give her the attention she craves. Let her fade away into non-existence."

With everything Nia had forced upon them, Clarke knew the former Ice Queen was lucky to be alive. A lesser Commander might have broken the call of blood must not have blood and executed their enemy regardless. Even without killing her, Lexa could have paraded Nia about the city — demonstrating to her people their Commander's unwavering strength. She could have shown them how their Heda had crushed the coalition's greatest foe, by reducing Nia to utter humiliation.

In a dark corner of Clarke's mind, she briefly wondered if it were Lexa's idea to let Nia leave unseen or the voices she heard telling her to do it.

"As you wish, Heda." Titus replied. "I will bring Anya to you now."

"Titus." Lexa called before he could leave. "Do not speak of Ker to her."

Crossing his hands in front of himself, Titus bowed his head. "Of course."

He didn't spare them another glance before he was walking out the door, gently clicking it back into it's frame.

After Titus's departure, constricting silence once again dropped heavily in the room. Clarke looked up at Lexa, frowning at the tight set of her shoulders. Was Lexa talking to the other Commander's now? Were they telling her what to do? Was she-

"What is it?" Lexa asked over her shoulder.

Not wanting to admit to where her thoughts had drifted, Clarke tried to alleviate the fraught air between them. "Isn't it weakness to admit your ill?"

A smirk pulled at Lexa's lips. At her lover's expression, Clarke could feel some of the oppressing tension slip away. "I'm not about to be ousted as Commander because I have a cold, Clarke."

Clarke moved beside the brunette. "You never mentioned she was your greatest enemy."

"She is the reason fire fell from the sky." Lexa stated solemnly. "How else would we describe her?"

They had spoken about the nuclear strike before, but Clarke didn't have a single recollection of Lexa ever telling her what the Grounders believed caused them. All Clarke had really established was the Grounders believed fire had fallen from the sky, which based on the information she had seen on the Ark, wasn't far from the truth.

Clarke shuddered to think about what those who had been left behind were forced to endure. The fire was only the start. The sun would have been blocked for weeks. The very air they breathed would have poisoned them. The dead would have been every-

Clarke stopped her train of thought, shaking her head to try and remove the sudden onslaught of images her imagination was conjuring. "I just meant, well, you've never mentioned a Ker before. Ever."

Lexa eyed her curiously for a moment. "We still have much to learn about each other, Clarke."

Clarke sighed wistfully. She couldn't wait for the day when they would have the time to talk about something other than their latest crisis. They had tasted what that would be like over the past three days. Lounging in Lexa's bed at night, with the furs tangled around their bare legs, they had spoken freely to each other about their day and told stories of their pasts.

Clarke knew they had barely scratched the surface though.

Lexa interrupted her lover's ruminating. "I should pack."

Clarke picked up the Commander's sash from the back of the couch in anticipation. "Are you taking your shoulder guard?"

"Yes."

Clarke folded the velvety red material into a square and handed it to Lexa. "Where did you leave it?"

"Bottom draw." Lexa quickly reached out to grab Clarke's arm before she could walk away. "I did not mean to be so harsh to you."

"It's okay-"

"No. It wasn't." Lexa interrupted, cutting off Clarke's dismissal. "I apologise. I should not have taken my frustrations out on you. I am still not used to," Lexa blinked her eyes rapidly as she paused for a moment. "To having someone I can call my equal."

"That's because I'm not. I might be the Chancellor of my people, but you're the leader of the coalition. You're the Commander, Lexa."

Stepping back around the couch, Clarke slotted her arms around Lexa's middle, who didn't hesitate to reciprocate the hold, cocooning Clarke in the warmth of her own arms.

"You're not just the Chancellor, Clarke." Lexa whispered, her face nuzzling into her hair. "You are Wanheda."

Clarke tightened her grip for the briefest moment. "But it's not me who leads this coalition, Lexa. It's you."

"There are those who choose to follow you now."

Clarke creased her brow "Echo and the Azgeda who were with her. They swore loyalty to me."

"If a member of a clan wishes to defy their leader, and fight on the side of the coalition, it is not another clan leader they would swear their loyalty to." Clarke could already tell where this was heading. "They are meant to swear their loyalty, in blood, to their Heda."

Clarke had to consciously stop her body from tensing. For the Azgeda warriors to defy their traditions and swear their loyalty to her... It wasn't any wonder Rhea had been so angered when she heard the news. The defectors from Azgeda swearing loyalty to Wanheda had put Clarke at an equal standing to the Commander.

"I should finish packing." Lexa said softly before placing a soft kiss on Clarke's forehead. There wasn't any malice on the brunette's face when she pulled away. "Titus should be back soon."

Clarke winced at the mention of the man's name. She had hoped she wouldn't have to see him before leaving for Arkadia.

"I'm not sure who dislikes whom the most." Lexa commented, a smile finally pulling across her face again.

Clarke tried to hide her amusement at Lexa's words as she gently pushed the brunette away. "I can't believe you even have to ask."

As Lexa continued packing her small bag, Clarke pulled the shoulder guard from the draw Lexa had indicated. There were new chips and cuts on the surface that hadn't been there before the war, each one a testament to the brutality of the battle it had been through. Silently, Clarke traced the deepest gauge. She hadn't even seen the strike that had caused it, but the evidence of it was clear to see.

"Titus is misguided, but he believes he is doing the right thing." Lexa interrupted Clarke's train of thought again.

Clarke pushed herself up to her feet and brushed the light layer of dust and dirt from the beaten guard. "I just wish he'd stop seeing me as the enemy."

"Anyone who becomes close to his Heda is an enemy. He saw Costia much the same way."

Clarke mulled over Lexa's statement for a moment before she handed the guard to her. Silently, she watched Lexa hook the shoulder piece onto the side of the bag.

Clarke sucked in a nervous breath. "You've never really talked about her."

"Costia?" Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. "You would like to hear of her?"

"Heda?" Titus's voice called through the door before Clarke could even think about addressing the uncertain feeling that had just erupted in her stomach.

"Enter!"

At Lexa's command, Titus pushed the door open. Anya was standing beside him, a small bulging bag in hand. She eyed them both curiously. "We're going to Arkadia?"

Lexa nodded. "There is something we must deal with. Quickly."

"Titus said we're to leave through the Southern tunnels?" Anya questioned.

Clarke tuned out their conversation as Titus approached her. "A map, for your people to follow." He muttered.

Clarke took the paper from his hand and unfolded it. There was a quick scrawl across the ageing material showing the key landmarks they would need to navigate to Lexa's and Anya's location. "Thank you, Titus."

Clarke had been content to duck away at that moment, but Titus had other ideas. He caught her arm, pulling her back towards him.

"Once again, you put Heda in danger." He said quietly enough for neither Lexa nor Anya to hear. "A habit of yours."

Clarke had seen this side of Titus before. She hadn't previously been intimidated by his words or actions and wasn't about to start now. "Do you think if I asked, Lexa would have you removed as Fleimkepa?"

Titus darkened his expression, snarling his lips as he prepared his rebuttal.

"Is there a problem?" Lexa interrupted from the other side of the room.

Titus's back straightened instantly. "No, Heda. I was showing Wanheda the map to your location."

Anya glared at him. "You lie as well as always, old man." He could clearly hear the agitation in her voice. "My warning still stands. Touch Wanheda again and I'll have your head."

Clarke knew Lexa had spoken to Titus after his failed assassination attempt, outside Roan's prison cell. She hadn't realised Anya had also threatened him.

Despite his expression remaining completely stoic, the slight bob of Titus's throat gave him away. "Wanheda's people will be expecting her. She is already late."

"Then we leave now." Lexa instructed before picking up her bag. "Titus, escort Wanheda to her people."

Clarke quickly grabbed her own bag from the floor and followed after Anya and Lexa. The three of them had barely made it into the hallway when Titus's voice stopped them.

"Heda!" He called from the doorway of the Commander's room. Lexa looked at him expectantly. "The boy. He recognised the symbol. He called it by a different name though."

It was the first time Clarke had heard the Fleimkepa mention Murphy since their confrontation outside the tower. Despite both Lexa and Rhea sending the best trackers Polis and the Trikru could offer, there was no sign of Murphy or Ontari. The pair had disappeared from the city without a trace

Lexa clenched teeth. "What was the name?"

"Alie."


Clarke wasn't sure which part of her journey down to the Polis gates was the worst. Between Lexa and Anya wordlessly leaving Clarke alone with Titus as they ran off down a corridor and Clarke actually having to stand in the confined space of the elevator with the man, it was hard to decide.

Clarke could still feel Titus's ominous presence beside her, feeling somewhat relieved that her "walk" with him was almost at an end. Despite her protests that she knew exactly how to get to the gates, Titus had insisted on following his Heda's instructions and chosen to escort her down with a contingent of tower guards.

There was no doubt in Clarke's mind that he had only done it to increase her irritation.

Clarke almost let out a sigh of relief when she spotted Hannah standing outside the rover speaking with Indra. She knew Monty was travelling with them too, but from the state Clarke had seen him in the night before, after he tried to out drink one of the tower guard, she wouldn't be surprised if he was sleeping inside the vehicle already.

"Be careful on your journey back." Titus muttered as they approached the vehicle.

Clarke scoffed at the man. "We're at peace. There's nothing to worry about."

Ducking in closer, Titus lowered his voice. "There's always danger on the road. Not all people belong to our clans. They're allegiance can be bought." Clarke rolled her eyes at the barely concealed threat. "Whatever it is you're doing with Lexa needs to stop."

That caught Clarke's full attention. The blonde blinked in surprise. "How-"

"You are not nearly discreet enough." Titus seethed, his voice spiking in volume. The guard in front of them twitched his head to the side. Apparently noticing his attention to their conversation, Titus lowered his voice again. "Already, rumours circulate of Wanheda's nightly visit to Heda's bed chamber."

"We have a lot to talk about." It was only half a lie. Whilst her nights in Lexa's room were definitely not just spent talking, between their languid conversations of their pasts, they had spent hours discussing Skaikru's place in the coalition.

"Do not play me for a fool. It stops. I do not expect to see you back in Polis again."

With the gates only a few meters away, Clarke stopped. There was nothing Titus could say or do that would stop her from returning to Lexa. "Or what?"

Titus nodded at the guards, prompting them to step away. "Your place in her life is a weakness I won't stand for."

"You're awfully brave when Lexa isn't here."

"You don't know what I'm capable of, you don't know what I've done to protect the Commander." Titus threatened. "I won't let you bring her work to ruin."

Stepping in closer, Clarke glowered up at the taller man. "You don't scare me, Titus."

The Fleimkepa sneered at her. "You're not the only one who can bring death, Wanheda."

"Just try it."

"Chancellor!" Hannah's voice pulled Clarke's gaze away from Titus. Her title still felt unfamiliar, but Hannah and the rest of the Skaikru, who had joined in the battle, were all insistent on calling her by it.

"We were going to leave without you." Hannah smiled at her.

Glaring up at Titus one last time, Clarke made her way to the rover. "Sorry, I had something to deal with."

"Wanheda. I was expecting the Commander to be with you." Indra greeted whilst eyeing Titus and the delegation of guards that had followed him.

"She was unwell."

Indra's brow creased with concern. "Unwell?"

Clarke smiled before easily lying to the other woman. "Titus said it was natblida's sickness or something?"

"Anya is with her?" Indra guessed.

"Yeah, which left me with Titus as an escort." Clarke couldn't help the way her eyes rolled.

Indra twitched her lips, barely restraining a smile. If there were one person who disliked Titus more than herself, it was Indra. The General always seemed to be cursing his name for one thing or another.

As if on cue, Titus made his presence known again. "Wanheda, if you're intending to return to Skaikru camp before nightfall, you would do well to leave now."

"Of course, thank you, Titus." Clarke replied tightly.

"He is keen as ever to see you leave." Indra commented dryly, before reaching out and gripping onto Hannah's outstretched arm. "May your journey be safe."

"And yours." Hannah smiled back.

Since the battle, Hannah had been surprisingly nice to Indra. It wasn't just her though. Clarke had seen Hannah around the other Grounders too, actively engaging with them without the air of disdain she had beforehand. It seemed, living among them in Polis had slowly started to change Hannah's opinion on them. Clarke could only hope the rest of Pike's comrades would feel the same.

Clarke didn't try to disguise her glare at Titus as she climbed into the back of the rover. She hadn't thought it possible for her dislike of the man to grow even more potently, but once again Titus was proving her otherwise.

Seating herself close to the front seats, Clarke poked her head through the gap. "Hi, Monty."

The boy jerked awake, blinking his eyes heavily. "Hey."

"You ready to go, Chancellor?" Hannah asked as she slammed her door shut.

"Yeah." Clarke pulled the map Titus had given her from her pocket. "But we need to make a detour first."