The Parody of Love

Just a little memo after writing for t.o.s.o.t.d. Happy Halloween!

Long ago, Hermione Granger realized that love was possibly the most gormless that could happen to a human. Seriously, she thought as she stared at Draco Malfoy picking his nose who invented the stupid thing when you realize that the only reason the guy wanted to marry you was if you were hot and could cook.

In fact, Hermione would rather marry Cookshanks than an actual human males, Ron was an indolent brat, Malfoy was...weird, and she couldn't really put her hands on other's opinion. Regardless of what, people still dated, married, and argue over things like underwear on top of drawers.

By sarcastic comments and puffing of chests over one another, Hermione could tell they still liked her. To test their maturity, Hermione decided to hold a contest in the school cementary on the coldest day of the year to see if any of them could get out the fastest alive. Ron and Malfoy reluctantly assented only after much nudging and exchanged looks.

Together, they made their way towards the cementary. Hermione popped herself down on a tree stump, sipping from a hot chocolate cup while Ron and Malfoy trudged over to the cementary.

About two seconds later, Hermione saw a blinding flash, yelping, and two black clad figures shooting out from the entrance, smoke trailing from their bottoms. Malfoy was wearing pink boxer shorts with money signs on them while Ron was wearing ones with a big red R.

"There was a huge eight-foot spider in there!" Ron panted, eyes wide.

"Yeah, and a fire breathing dragon!" Malfoy screamed.

"You guys are so immature." Hermione snorted.

Suddenly, two hulking shadows appeared on the ground. Wide-eyed, the two looked back and saw it was really a giant spider and dragon!

After the two ran off shrieking, the two 'monsters' took the head of their customes. "Shit," Crabbe grumbled. "they are serious pricks."

"Yeah," Goyle replied, fishing out a ganola bar and chewed on it, "Twey re picks."

Nearby, Harry and Hermione simply shook their heads.

A/N: Wrote this in the park with a squirrel throwing acorns at me. (Seriously, what are animals getting on to these days?) Published upon getting home.