A/N: Hey guys! Trust me I have no idea what mood brought me to write this! Anywho I hope you enjoy none the less.


This was agonizing. Not physically agonizing but mentally agonizing. Each step was harder and harder for me to take yet I took them anyway. Forcing myself down the small pathway knowing only what I would do would upset me, tear me apart, or something else altogether. Each leaf and stick that crunched beneath my feet as I walked made me flinch, any noise when I came down here did.

A large house loomed up on the horizon and I shivered at the sight, the intricate patterns woven on the gate to keep outsiders out, to stop them learning our secrets. As I small child they seemed awfully obsessive to me. I couldn't understand why we had to keep the world out but now I understood. We were freaks, well at least I was.

The gates only got closer at a rapid pace, there was no taking this slowly, if I did I might find the power within myself to turn around and go straight back home. I should use that power to keep me going, keep my legs moving forward.

In the near distance the sound of a violin could be heard, it soft and sweet music almost creating a gentle aroma around the building, relaxing me almost. But the music was broken when a loud shout was heard.

"Stop that racket! I was trying to sleep!" Boomed an intimidating voice that I could not mistake. The voice was the voice of Akito Sohma, and I, Yuki Sohma, was his puppet. I had been a long time free of his control (not totally free but enough) however his voice and his manner still scared me. It sent shards of ice straight down into the pit of my stomach, piecing my heart and soul painfully.

"I-I'm sorry Akito." Came a trembled voice back, it was high and squeaky, much reminding me or a elementary grade student. It could only be Momiji Sohma.

I waited for conformation that no further arguments would be held and I received it when all that reached my ears was silence. Gently I out-stretched my hand and placed it onto the gate. I had taken these steps before, opening the gate, walking into the grounds, seeing Akito and then leaving again. Each time they had been hard and unwelcome in my mind but never had I been here for this purpose. I was here to see the room. The room I had been held in for most of my childhood, the room that suffered in. It was finally time to face up to it.

I wasn't sure why I'd come here alone, now I came to think about it, it probably wasn't the best idea I'd ever had. Then again, who would I have brought with me?

Kyo? Over my dead body.

Shigure? He wouldn't understand.

Miss Honda? Well I just couldn't make her worry, she'd only make herself ill over it.

"It's okay, all your going to do is look, you're not going to go inside, just look." I murmered to myself reassuringly and I finally plucked up the courage to swing the gate open slowly. It squeaked nosily like fingernails on a black board, it made my ears ring. It took another few moments before I could move my feet inside the gates.

When I managed to get the momentum in my feet going I began to stray off my usual path, no longer was I going to walk up the steps and into the bare corridors. No, I pushed my way through over growing plants and weeds that were no longer needing to be cut and trimmed to perfection once I had been freed.

Before I knew it, there it was. The one room that still held the potential to give me nightmares, vivid ones at that. It's walls were now home to poison ivy, some were cracked and some were on the brink of falling down. It was clear no-one had taken any care for maintenance.

Something caught my eye... a simple wooden window. The white paint now peeling and the glass now shattered. This one window had been a life line for me. It was the only thing that gave me a sense of the outside world. From there I could watch the other Sohma children play in the sand and I could overlook the whole of the Sohma woods never once allowed the privilege of going out there and experiencing it for myself.

A cold tear ran down my face, leaving it's residue as a mark on my cheek. Suddenly I felt a warm and gentle hand on my shoulder, I turned around to recognise it's owner, the owner shocked me. There looking down at me was Hatori Sohma.

His normal stern face was still there but now it seemed to have softened slightly. He fished around his pocket and handed me a clean tissue to wipe away the tear.

"You're very brave Yuki," He said his voice quiet and husky.

"I'm not brave, just stupid." I replied stiffly, repeating the words Akito had drummed into my head one night.

Hatori shook his simply and he followed my gaze until he too was looking at the window. He sighed slightly before squeezing my shoulder loosely.

"You're not stupid in the slightest, you knew how to keep your spirit alive." He nodded at the window and then looked back at me, he knew just a well as anybody that my spirit had almost been broken, that I was on the verge of giving up. But I never had, and when I thought about it, I really was glad about that. If I had, who would have taken in Miss Honda? Shigure certainly wouldn't have done it off his own back.

I shook my head to rid myself of these thoughts and a thin smile escaped my lips. I shouldn't dwell on the past, I should keep thinking about the window, after all that's what had been keeping me going all those years, knowing that one day the window I stared out of would finally be empty.