Renovation Chaos

A/N: Wow... how long has it been? A year? I have a lot to catch up on. Anyway, I've been busy (make that insanely, and it's going to get worse I'm sure), but I miss being here, and I (at least kind of LOL) miss writing. I've missed a lot and have tons to catch up on (and review). This has been sitting in my files, completed, for ages. I may as well share it... though I'm not fond of the first part. Don't know where my head was. On Planet X, maybe? I must have been on something at the time of writing LOL. ;) It's kinda dumb and ridiculous sounding, but it gets a bit better. I remember needing a "happy" lift out of one of my previous writings, and so this story was born. That's probably why it's so ridiculous at first. ;) Anyway, enough rambling. Enjoy, and drop me a line if you'd like. :)

One-shot, family story.

~~BB~~

"Kid, pass me a beer, would you?"

Jamie scoffed. "You have to go up on the roof, Danny."

"So?"

"No."

"Jamie…"

"No!"

"Fine." Danny pouted.

"Sean, stop playing with that!" Linda hollered across the yard. "It probably still has nails in it!"

"Sorry, Mom." Sean grumbled, dropping the board, an old nail narrowly missing his sandaled foot. He stalked off to see what his brother was up to.

"Nicki, you're supposed to be taking out the nails as we give you the old boards!" Erin chastised. Nicki was sitting on the grass, looking tired and pouty.

"You guys are going too fast, Mom!" Nicki groaned. "I can't keep up!" She fiddled with the hammer in her hands. Henry laughed, ambling over to her.

"Come on, sweetheart, let me help. We'll get it done in no time!"

The family had gotten together Sunday morning to take down the old shed in the backyard, which was rotting and starting to lean. They had piles of fresh new boards off to the side of the yard and packages of shingles to put on the newly built roof… if they ever got that far. The old framework was down, and the men of the family were attempting to put together the new framework. All was fine until they realized they had forgotten to cut a space for the door and Danny ended up trapped inside with no way out. The others were highly amused. Danny just glared at them all.

"It's an easy fix, son," Frank soothed, trying not to laugh. "We don't need to take the entire wall down again."

Jamie headed over to the front side of the shed, armed with a saw. "What do the blueprints say, Dad?"

"Normal sized door, Jamie." Frank told him. Jamie shot him a look.

"No kidding." he grumbled. He looked at the boards, glancing in at his annoyed brother. He smirked. "You know, it might be easier to just take this wall down again."

"I agree!" Danny quickly butted in. Jamie snickered. "Shut up, kid."

Frank sighed, grabbing the drill. "Fine, Jamie. You may be right. I don't want anyone losing any fingers."

Half an hour later the wall was back up, complete with a door frame. Henry was sitting on the patio with a glass of water, Jack and Sean were still running around the yard, and Linda and Erin were chatting amongst themselves as Nicki was still trying to get the last of the nails out of the old boards. Jamie and Danny were arguing over how to place the shingles on the tar-papered plywood slabs that made up the roof. Frank sighed; he was starting to wish that he had gotten one of those pre-made, ready-to-assemble sheds that would have been done hours ago.

A sudden scream made everyone freeze. Nicki took off from her spot on the grass, the hammer lying forgotten beside the board she had been working on. Her face was reddened, her eyes showing her panic. She kept mumbling "widow" as she raced for the house. Erin caught her before she got to the patio. Linda grabbed her boys before they could start snooping around the boards. Jamie and Danny both scrambled off the roof, Danny going for the can of bug killer they always kept around. He passed it to Jamie.

Jamie looked at him incredulously. "Are you kidding? I'm not going over there!"

"It's for your niece!" Danny admonished, trying to push the can onto him again.

"You know I'd do anything for her, but I'm not going over there!"

"Really? You face gigantic men ready to bash your head in and yet you can't face a tiny spider?"

"Those tiny spiders can kill you!"

"So can the gigantic men." Danny mumbled.

"You're holding the can, why don't you go over there?" Jamie muttered back.

"Um…"

Erin groaned, grabbing the can from Danny. "You two are such babies!" she grumbled. She quickly flipped the board with the toe of her shoe. There it was, in all its eight-legged glory. She aimed the can, sure that it's tiny raised legs were supposed to be a warning to her to back off. "Not a chance, ugly. You don't mess with my daughter." she mumbled, spraying it with a heavy dose of strong-smelling liquid. She used a shovel to pick up the dead spider, tossing it over the fence. A quick check over the rest of the boards revealed no more nasty surprises. She shoved the can back into Danny's hands. Both boys stared after her, stunned.

"Don't mess with Mama-bear." Jamie mumbled quietly. Danny nodded in agreement.

"It's gone, honey." Erin soothed. "I checked the rest of the boards. They're safe."

"I'm not going back over there!" Nicki wailed, still looking panicked.

"And you don't have to, sweetheart." Frank said, putting his arm around her. "Come help me in the kitchen. We'll bring out some lemonade for everyone."

"Okay, Grandpa." she agreed, following him into the house. Jamie and Danny headed for the ladder, crawling back onto the roof. They resumed their arguing.

Frank exited the house with a tray of glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. Nicki followed behind him holding a plate of cookies and looking much more relaxed. Frank looked over at the shed; Jamie was on his knees, his back to them, kneeling over the peak to place shingles in rows and hammer in the nails. Danny was finishing up the remaining ones on the other side, teetering close to the edge. Frank sighed.

"One of them will fall off the roof behaving like that." he mumbled. "Boys!" he called. "Time for a break."

"Sure, Dad." Jamie called back, his voice muffled. "Just give us a minute."

A sudden yelp caught everyone's attention. Jamie almost tumbled off the roof in his surprise. He looked over at Danny, who had his thumb stuffed in his mouth, muffling the curses that made his way to his lips. Jamie laughed.

"You're thumb's not a nail, Danny." he smirked.

"Shut up, smartass!" Danny mumbled, examining his bruising thumb. "That's gonna swell."

"Probably." Jamie smirked again, climbing down the ladder. Danny shot him a glare before easing his way off the roof.

They reached the patio. Jamie took the glass that Erin offered him. Danny was still examining his thumb. Linda laughed, taking his hand.

"It's fine, Danny. I'm pretty sure you'll live." she muttered, handing him a glass and a cookie.

"It's not your thumb that's swelling." Danny grumbled sarcastically. Linda sighed, taking a seat next to him.

"I think I've figured out why the boys whine so much." she mumbled. Danny shot her a look.

"Thanks a lot." he muttered back, finishing off his cookie.

"The roof will be finished soon, Dad." Jamie said, turning to his father. "The walls shouldn't take long."

Frank nodded. "Nicki, do you want to help with the painting?"

"Sure!" Nicki replied, looking excited. She glanced over at the paint cans. "White walls with red trim or red with white?"

"It's up to you." Frank replied. Nicki smiled at him.

"Let's match it to the house."

"Red with white, then." Frank smiled. "Good choice."

"It'll look like a barn." Jack mumbled. Sean nodded his agreement.

"The house doesn't look like a barn." Nicki shot back. The boys glared at her.

"The shed will." Sean snapped.

"Sean, that's enough." Linda sighed. "The choice was Nicki's, and I think she made a good one."

Nicki smiled at her aunt. "Thanks Aunt Linda." she replied, making a face at Sean. Sean stuck out his tongue at her in return.

"What do you say we finish the shed in time for dinner?" Frank interrupted before a fight could break out.

"I need to finish a few shingles." Jamie replied, standing. Danny followed after him. Nicki hopped after her uncles, heading for the paint cans. Erin was right behind her, telling her what to do. Linda headed inside to start preparing for their dinner. Henry decided he'd had enough construction work and followed after her. Jack and Sean continued horsing around on the patio. Left alone, Frank grabbed another cookie.

An hour later, Linda wandered outside followed by Henry, who immediately grabbed up another cookie and sat on his favourite patio chair. Frank smiled at them.

"Do you need any help in the kitchen, Linda?"

"No, it's all ready to cook. How are they doing?"

"I should have bought a pre-made shed." Frank grumbled. The roof was finished, but now the boys were arguing over the walls. "Linda, tell me how hard it is to cut a slab of wood to size and attach it to the framework?"

Linda laughed. "Nevermind, Frank. You know those two will fight over anything. They live for it."

"Unfortunately." Frank responded, frowning. He listened to the heated voices across the yard, the pounding of hammers on wood. He jumped when Linda stood up like a cat on fire.

"Sean!" she shrieked. "Watch out!"

Jamie immediately looked in Sean's direction, his eyes taking in the forgotten board teetering on the edge of the roof. He jumped at his nephew as the board fell. He grabbed Sean as he felt his feet tangle…

Sean looked up curiously from where he was sitting on the grass. He pointed to his uncle's face. "You're bleeding, Uncle Jamie."

'Thanks, Sherlock.' Jamie thought to himself, feeling the warm liquid traveling down his forehead. He patted Sean on the back. "It's fine, Sean, no need to worry. What about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm not the one who's bleeding, Uncle Jamie." Sean replied simply. Jamie just sighed. He kicked at the hammer that had tripped him as Linda ran up to them.

"Sean, are you okay?"

"It didn't hit me, Mom." Sean replied, gesturing at Jamie. Linda ruffled his hair before turning to Jamie. "Come on, Jamie, let's get you cleaned up."

"It's fine, Linda." Jamie grumbled as he stood up, embarrassed and fully aware that his remaining family members were looking at him.

"I just want to take a look at it." Linda insisted. Jamie sighed again before following her.

"You okay?" Danny called from where he stood at the side of the shed.

"Fine, Danny." Jamie shot back, fully suspecting that it was his brother's hammer that had tripped him up. He ignored the fact that Danny was currently hammering in a nail and that his own hammer was no longer in his hand. He also ignored the fact that the hammer on the ground had a faded "Jamie" carved into the side of the wooden handle courtesy of his father, given to him when he was fifteen years old and extremely interested in construction work.

He followed Linda onto the patio. Frank half stood.

"Jamie…"

"It's fine, Dad. Really." Jamie replied, sending him a smile.

"Real men have construction injuries." Henry piped up, taking another drink of lemonade and deliberately ignoring the look his son, grandson, and granddaughter-in-law shot him. He didn't have a heart made of stone; he felt a flicker of worry when he saw the board teetering towards his great-grandson, and the flicker of worry when he saw his grandson go down with the board determined to hit him. He just didn't want anyone else to know that. "What?" he asked, shrugging. "In my day, we were injured all the time. We just wrapped it up and kept on going. It never stopped us."

Linda sighed. "Just go, Jamie." She said, gently pushing him ahead of her and following. "Grab the first aid kit. I need to check on the roast."

"The roast is more important than my head?" Jamie muttered quietly to himself as he wandered towards the bathroom, unaware that he had been heard.

Linda found him in the bathroom poking at his hairline. She pushed him down onto the closed toilet seat lid. "Let me see, Jamie." she told him, swiping his hand away. The cut was right by his hairline. She pressed his forehead a bit, ignoring the grimace he gave her. She gently wiped up the blood, smearing some disinfectant over the cut. She ignored the whine he gave when it stung. She pressed his forehead again. "Hmm…"

He looked at her, an eyebrow raised in confusion. "What's that mean?"

"Shush…"

"But…"

"I'm checking it, Jamie."

He glowered at her.

"Hmm…"

"See, there it is again!" Jamie insisted. "What's that sound supposed to mean? Do I need stitches?"

"Well…"

"Well what?"

Linda sighed. "Yes, Jamie. I think you need stitches. Several of them."

He looked at her, speechless and nervous. "But…"

Linda laughed. "I'm kidding, Jamie. It's not even bleeding anymore." She grabbed the gauze, taping a small piece of it over the cut. "It may bruise a bit, and just be careful with the scab when washing and combing your hair, but you probably won't even notice it in a few days."

He frowned. "You can be mean, Linda." he grumbled, getting up. She laughed and cleaned up as he took the first aid kit from her and stuck it back under the sink.

"It's just a small cut, Jamie." Linda said, shooting him a look and making her way back to the kitchen. "You know that. You were looking at it."

Jamie huffed impatiently, fully aware of that fact and completely unwilling to admit it.

Frank smiled at his son as Jamie took a seat next to him. "Your head okay, son?"

"It's fine, Dad. It's nothing." He looked out over the yard. "They're painting?"

"If you could call it that." Frank sighed, watching Jack and Sean haphazardly slap paint onto the walls.

"Right…" Jamie grinned, watching as Erin swooped in over her nephews, expertly telling them the proper way to paint. She completely ignored it when they stuck their tongues out at her from behind her back. It was only Danny's snorting that gave them away.

"Hey, kid… why don't you get down here and help us?" Danny called out. Jamie shrugged, pointing at the small bandage on his head.

"Injured, Danny," he stated. "I'm supposed to rest."

Danny turned away as he grumbled to himself. Something about "lazy" and "ass." Jamie just laughed.

An outraged shriek drew everyone's attention to the shed. Danny looked guilty. The ladder was still wobbling on unsteady ground, and Erin was glaring at him. She also had a streak of white in her hair and down the side of her face.

"You did that on purpose!"

"I did not!" Danny defended himself. "You're the one who left the paintbrush up there!"

"You ran into the ladder!"

"I bumped into it by accident!"

Erin glared at him again. "I need to wash this off before it dries." she grumbled in return, stalking towards the house.

Danny looked at the only remaining members of his family helping with the shed – his boys and Nicki – and shrugged. "Well, at least the painting's almost done."

-A few hours later-

Frank sat at the head of the table looking out over his family. They'd had a quiet dinner, no one really talking with one another. Danny's thumb was bandaged ("to keep the fingernail in place," Danny explained, positive it would fall off). Jamie was beginning to show signs of bruising around the bandage, and Erin still had remnants of paint in her hair and on her cheek ("how am I supposed to go in to work?" she complained earlier. "They'll just stare at the paint!"). They all had varying degrees of sunburn.

"I want to thank you all for your help today," Frank started. "I took a little longer than I thought, but it wouldn't have been finished if you all hadn't pitched in."

Jamie tossed him a smile. "You're welcome, Dad."

"Yeah, Dad… you can count on us." Danny continued.

Frank nodded. "I know I can, son. That's why I don't want any of you to take offense to this… but we're never doing this again!"

Laughter echoed around the table, the tense feeling finally dissipating.

"Francis, the garage could use some work." Henry piped up.

"I'll hire someone."

"Why would you do that? There's a perfectly good group of people sitting around this table, and it would be free!"

"I'll hire someone." Frank repeated patiently.

"Excellent idea, Dad." Erin quickly cut in, grabbing a few plates and hurrying towards the kitchen.

"Agreed." Linda replied, picking up a few dishes and following her sister-in-law.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to be busy for the foreseeable future." Jamie said, following the women.

"I don't want to do more work!" Sean grumbled. Jack nodded in agreement.

"Construction's boring," Nicki told them. "I like painting, though."

"Your mother says differently." Henry mumbled.

"Well, I'll help you, Dad." Danny boasted before looking at his thumb. "Though this might take a while to heal."

"You'll live, Danny!" Linda called from the kitchen.

Frank sighed. At least they meant well. He smiled, listening to the talking and laughing that filled his home, the events of the day quickly forgotten.

-END-