Leah
First Beach. One of my favorite places to go to when I want to get away from everything for a while. I could feel the sand under my feet and the sun on my face. The sound of the waves crashing to shore, the smell of the salty ocean, the cool misty air; all so calming and relaxing. But the surf was also turbulent, and the ocean that housed so much life could also destroy everything in the blink of an eye.
Like me.
I felt my baby kick, as if to tell me to stop such negative thoughts. And she would be right to do so, since there was no room in my life for negativity. Things with the pack were going well, there hadn't been any disturbances in or around our town in almost a year, and my mom and Charlie were planning their wedding. I actually couldn't believe it when they told Seth and I, since they had been so secretive about the fact they even had a relationship. I think after I told my mom about dad coming to me in a dream and all the things he had told me, she realized she had nothing to be ashamed about. We Clearwater women are strong, and stubborn, but when Charlie asked her to marry him, she accepted. They loved each other, and though it would never be what my mom and dad had, it would be different, and good. I was so happy for them both. Also, there's Sam.
Sam is amazing. He's smart, kind, and wonderful. Now that he's in my life, I can't imagine a life without him. Together we were building a family, a life full of happiness. I just, I couldn't help but think that things were too good. That our lives were too normal in contrast to our pasts. It worried me, and took away from enjoying the simple things.
I heard footsteps behind me seconds before I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "What are you thinking about so hard, love?" Sam asked, giving my shoulder a squeeze before sitting down on the blanket next to me. "You have those worry lines on your forehead."
I playfully punched his arm. "I don't have worry lines!"
"Okay, okay, ouch!" He laughed and rubbed his arm. "You do look a little troubled. What's up?"
"It's nothing..." I started, but I realized if there was anyone I could share my doubt and worry with, it was Sam. "It's just, things..."
"...Are too quiet." He finished. He reached over and put his hand on mine.
"Yeah. Much too quiet, for too long. Is it that we're just so used to bad things that we can't accept that maybe the worst is behind us? Are we so jaded that we can't enjoy peace?"
"Maybe. It never hurts to be cautious, and as long as we don't get too comfortable we won't be caught off guard. Dean and I keep our eyes open, and the pack is still doing patrols, even if you can't join them."
"Don't remind me." I sighed, longing for the feeling of phasing, the rush of wind while running through the forest as a wolf. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I went to Carlisle Cullen to see what I should do to ensure the safety of my daughter. Even though I knew my baby wasn't going to do the things to me that Nessie had done to Bella, I still wanted to know what the possibilities were, if he even had an idea. As far as anyone knew, I was the first female shape shifter in our tribe, and so my baby would be the first one born to a shape shifter. He didn't have much to go on, but after a full exam and blood work, he told me the only difference between myself and any other expectant mother was I could change shape. It changed my whole internal structure when I phased, and that could be dangerous for the baby. So I hadn't "gone wolf" in five months. It was difficult, and kind of funny considering I never wanted to be a wolf in the first place and used to curse the fact that I had inherited the gene.
"I know it's been hard on you, Leah. I understand, believe me. Being able to settle down and be normal has always been my dream, but even I feel cooped up sometimes. There's a part of me that wants to hunt, that wants to take down the bad guys. I know there's a part of you that's wild and wants to run free. Once she gets here you'll be able to do it again." Sam put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him.
"I know, love. I just get restless, and feel bad because I can't help the guys."
"They understand, you know. Plus, your mom needs your help with the wedding."
"She's going to make me crazy. Ha ha. For someone who doesn't want a big wedding, she sure has a lot of stuff she wants to do before next month. I don't know what the hurry is."
"A lot of women want to be June brides?" Sam shrugged. He'd been reading entirely too many wedding magazines. Not that it could be helped with how many were strewn across our living room, where Mom and I did a lot of wedding planning.
"Hmm. Perhaps. I honestly think that she feels like this peace won't last either. Like maybe this is her shot, and if the wedding doesn't happen soon, something else will." I sighed and curled up closer to him. "What's Dean been up to lately, anyway? I haven't seen him around."
"Spending lots of time with Lauren when he's here. He drives a lot, too. I think he wants to leave seventy five percent of the time, just take off and hunt. He worries, more than you, more than any of us. Life has taught him to be a skeptic more than anything. Plus, the Lauren thing is serious. I don't think he knows how to have a serious long term relationship." He put his hand on my belly, and our baby moved in response.
"She's happy, Daddy." I smiled and kissed him.
"Have you thought of a name for her yet?"
"I was thinking we could name her after our mothers. Mary Sue?" As soon as I said the name out loud though, I knew it wasn't a good fit.
"Uh, hmm. That sounds a little..." Sam started to say.
"Boring." I added.
"Yeah, sorry." He rubbed my belly and looked out over the ocean.
"Nothing to be sorry about, we'll figure it out. She's got some baking left to do."
We laughed together for a few minutes before falling quiet again. We sat that way, his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist, watching the sun slowly set over the ocean. We watched as an Orca pod hunted not far from the shore. Then finally, when the sun had set, we said good bye to the ocean for the day, cleaned up our area, and headed to the car.
