Harmon~~~~~~~~y!!

Ah…Christmas is right around the corner!  We thought we'd submit our Christmas special story a little early so we could avoid the rush!  Ha ha ha!  Or should we say… Ho ho ho!

One bright and sunny December day, the X-Men were sitting in the mansion lounging their heads off with not much to do.  All of a sudden, Professor Xavier's head came down on a large screen.

"X-MEN!" he said, sounding desperate.  "Terrible news!  Come to my private office at once!"

"We'll be right there!" yelled Scott, immediately leaping up from his chair.  All of the X-Men followed suit and they all ran into Professor Xavier's private office and whether he actually has one or not is a mystery to even me!

"Is there something wrong, Professor?" asked Jean.

"Yes…" said Professor Xavier, holding up a calendar.  "Would you look at December 25th?!"

"But there IS no December 25th!" Kurt said skeptically, looking at the calendar.  "It goes from the 24th to the 26th!"

"That's exactly my point!" said Professor Xavier, taking the calendar back.  "Where is Christmas?!"

"GASP!!" gasped all the X-Men.

"Someone has stolen Christmas from the general public!" Professor Xavier explained.

"Are you sure, Professor?" asked Kitty.  "I mean…you could have, like, just gotten a defective calendar or something."

"No, Kitty, I'm positive." Said Professor Xavier seriously.  "Christmas has been Holiday-napped so its day has been wiped off of our very calendars!"

"Who would do such a thing?!" Evan said angrily.

"You must travel to the North Pole to find out what the problem is and where Christmas has disappeared to." He explained.

"We're on it!" Scott declared.

"How are we going to get there, though?" asked Rogue, putting her hands on her hips.

"I have arranged for an one horse open sleigh to take you there." Professor Xavier answered, folding his hands.

"…To the North Pole?" Kitty said.

"Yes." Professor Xavier replied.

"What are going to find at the North Pole anyway?" Kitty asked.

"Santa Claus, of course." Professor Xavier answered is if she should KNOW that…which she SHOULD!

"What are you talking about?" Kitty laughed.  "Santa isn't real!"

There was silence.

Professor Xavier cleared his throat.  "Yes he is." He said finally.

"There's no way I'm going to travel all the way to the North Pole on a one horse open sleigh to look for a guy who isn't even real so he can tell us why the Professor's calendar is missing a day!" Kitty said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Well then we don't want you along anyway." Said Kurt.  "If you're such an unbeliever, it'll take away the magic of finally meeting Santa."

"Whatever!" said Kitty, phasing through the wall.

"Don't worry, X-Men." Said Professor Xavier.  "No matter what anyone tells you, Santa Claus is REAL."

"We know, Professor." Said Scott.  "You ready to go X-Men?"

"YEAH!!" cheered all the X-Men, including Scott.  They all ran to their rooms to get their fluffy warm jackets and earmuffs and assorted other accessories that would be nice to have at the North Pole.

They exited the mansion to see a big red sleigh sitting there.

"Where's the horse?" Evan asked, looking around.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Jean enthusiastically.  "How are we going to get to the North Pole now?"

"Hey, what's that?!" said Kurt, pushing his way forward and pointing up at the sky.  Everyone gasped as a reindeer came flying down from the sky and landed in front of them RIGHT BY THE SLEIGH!

"It's a flying reindeer!" said Rogue, grabbing the reindeer's collar and examining it.  "Prancer!"

"Come on, team!" said Scott, getting into the sleigh as the reindeer got hooked onto it purely by magic.  The X-Men boarded the sleigh and Prancer took off into the sky.

"I can't believe we're going to meet Santa!" said Kurt.  "I'm gonna be able to give him my list in person!"

"This isn't just a joy ride to the North Pole, Kurt." Said Scott firmly.  "Before we have any fun, we have to find out why Christmas was erased from the calendar and fix the problem."

"I know that!" said Kurt.  "But I'm still excited to meet him!"

"Wow!" said Evan, looking over the edge of the sleigh.  "We're so high up!  I can't even see the ground anymore!"

"I'm getting cold…" Rogue complained.

"I wonder how long it'll take for us to land at the North Pole?" Jean wondered aloud.

"We're going pretty fast…so I shouldn't imagine it would take…" started Scott but suddenly, they felt a strong jerk.  They paused for a moment and then looked over the edge of the sleigh once again to discover that they had landed on a ground of fluffy snow.  "Very long?"

"We're here!" said Kurt, leaping out of the sleigh.  "Thanks, Prancer!"

"Yeah but…where's Santa?" Jean asked with a worried expression on her face.  They all followed Prancer over a hill of snow to be faced with a destroyed city that was burning and in ruins.

"What happened?!" Rogue gasped.

"This can't be…!" Scott said.  "Everyone, listen up!  Santa and all his elves were attacked!  We have to check it out!  Let's move!"  The X-Men ran down the hill and into the village.  There were tiny Elvin people running around frantically calling for Santa and screaming about their poor houses.

"What's going on here?!" Evan asked a passerby elf.

"We were attacked!" the Elf answered.  "A group of people swooped in and destroyed our village and all the toys!  Then they went to Santa's house and… well…no one knows what happened next!"

"Come on!" said Scott as the X-Men ran up to a path that had a little mailbox with the name 'Santa Claus' on it.  They looked up to where to path led to see another house that was just as destroyed as all the rest of the houses.

"This is Santa's house!" Kurt gasped as he stepped over the collapsed white picket fence.  "And it's destroyed!"

"No!" said Scott, clenching his fist and shaking it towards the sky.

"Who would do this…?" Jean said, trying to hold back her tears.

"Look!" said Rogue.  "There's a note!"

To the X-Men:

If you have found this note then that means you are looking for Santa.  Well, give up!  Your search is fruitless!

-The Acolytes

Magneto, St. John, Remy, Piotr, Pietro

(Sabretooth died unfortunately, he would have signed his name but as we previously stated, he died)

"Those MONSTERS!" Evan yelled.

"How did they know that we would come looking for Santa…?" Scott wondered.

"It doesn't matter!" said Kurt.  "The only thing that's important right now is saving Santa!"

"Jean, can you track the Acolytes?" Rogue asked.

"Yes!" said Jean.  "They're back at their lair!"

"To the sleigh!" Scott exclaimed.  Dramatic chase music started playing as the X-Men ran back through the burning town to the sleigh where Prancer was waiting ever so patiently for them to come.  With Jean steering the way, they got to the Acolytes' lair ever so quickly.

"All right, are you all ready to save Christmas?!" Scott asked his X-Men team as he zapped down the door with his laser eye vision.

"Hello!" said St. John who was standing at the doorway apparently waiting for them to come.  "We've got X-Men!"

"It's an ambush!" Rogue yelled as all the X-Men dodged the flames that were so psychotically sent their way.  "They knew we would come to rescue Santa!  It was all a trap!"

"Yes, it was!" said Piotr.

"How could we NOT have rescued Santa?!" Kurt yelled.

"That's exactly what I said!" said Pietro as he ran out.

"We knew you guys wouldn't be able to resist." Remy added.

"But how did you know we would go searching for Santa in the first place?" Evan demanded.

"We made sure that you would." Magneto said as he flew out.

"So, it's YOU who's behind this!" said Scott, reaching for his sunglasses.

"Not him…ME!" came a voice.  Magneto flew to the side to reveal Kitty who was dressed up as a giant menorah.

"SHADOWCAT!!!" yelled everyone, using her codename just because they all simultaneously felt like it.

"I am no longer Shadowcat!" said Kitty.  "Henceforth, I shall be known as Lady Menorite!!"

"But WHY?!" Jean asked.

"Because!" said Kitty.  "You all care so much about Santa!  But what about me?!  Every Christmas, I'm left all alone as you all celebrate the holidays!  No one ever even bothers to wish me a Happy Hannukah!  So I decided to kidnap Santa and turn him into my slave!"

"But…how did you get the Acolytes to work for you?" Kurt asked.

"You all should be more worried about yourselves than how I got the Acolytes to randomly kidnap Santa for me!!" Kitty screamed.

"It was fun." Said St. John.  "I got to meet Santa."

"Be quiet." Said Remy, whacking St. John with his stick.

"Now, ATTACK!!" Kitty commanded.  "I can't because of my hindering Menorah costume but it's not like I would have done anything ANYWAYS!!  What are you all standing around for?!  GO!!"

"YEAH!!" yelled all the Acolytes, including Kitty.  All the Acolytes each pulled an individual lever and a trap door opened underneath the X-Men, separating them all!!  Then all the Acolytes leapt down the trapdoors, each being paired off with the X-Man of choice.

"You're going on my naughty list!!" said Santa from his cage that was hanging over a pit of fire.  "Forever!"

"You've never brought me presents anyway!" said Kitty.  "So I'm not worried!!"

Meanwhile, Evan and Magneto were duking it out!!

"Give in, Evan!" said Magneto dramatically.

"Never!" Evan yelled as Magneto cornered him.  "Why are you going along with this anyway?!"

"Because I am Jewish as well!" Magneto replied.  "And I, too, wish to get back at Santa for never delivering a present to me!"

"You expected one from him?!" Evan demanded.

"Yes!" Magneto said, breaking down into tears.

"It's okay…" said Evan, getting up and patting Magneto on the back.

Meanwhile, Kurt and St. John were having their share of a brawl!

Or lack there of…

"Stay still!" St. John yelled as he attempted to burn Kurt.

"Stop attacking me!" Kurt yelled.  "Answer me this single question; why would you kidnap Santa?!"

"I never WANTED to kidnap Santa!" St. John confessed.  "It was just…I wanted to meet him so badly…and the other guys promised me that if I helped then Santa would give me lots of presents!  But…he actually just put me on his naughty list…"

"There's still time to get OFF the naughty list!" Kurt assured him.

"You really think so?" St. John said, his eyes lighting up.

"I KNOW so!" Kurt said, giving him the thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Scott and Remy were having some fights!

"I must know one thing!" Scott said, backing into a corner.  "Why?!"

"Because." Said Remy.

"That's it?" Scott said.

"Remy don't need a reason!" Remy said.  "He was just bored!"

"That's not a good reason to kidnap Santa!" Scott yelled.

"Remy didn't say it was a GOOD reason." Remy said.  "He just said dat he was bored."

"Well…since you're not passionate about keeping Christmas from the world, you want to join the good side?" Scott tried.

"Eh, sure." Said Remy with a shrug.

Meanwhile, Rogue and Piotr weren't fighting.  There were just standing there.

"There's no reason why you should ruin Christmas!" Rogue said since she was feeling awkward just standing there staring at him.

"I am doing only what Magneto says." Said Piotr solemnly.

"But think about it!" Rogue said.  "If Magneto told you to jump off a bridge, would you?!"

Piotr didn't answer.

"Okay…bad question…" Rogue said.  "If Magneto told you to KILL Santa, would you do it?!"

"Never…" Piotr said.

"I didn't think so." Said Rogue.  "So why would you kidnap him?!"

"I…I do not know…" Piotr said truthfully.

"Will you help us?" asked Rogue.

"Of course." Piotr said.

And finally, Jean and Pietro were in the last trapdoor.  Pietro had been running around Jean and as soon as she lifted him up into the air, he began to wonder why he had jumped down THAT particular trapdoor.

"Now you HAVE to listen to me!" Jean said.

"Please don't try to turn me over to the side of good!" whined Pietro as he attempted to get loose.  "I can't get loose!"

"You have to!" Jean said.

"I don't DO that!" Pietro retorted.  "I switch sides at whim and right now, I just don't feel like switching.  I'm quite enjoying my roll on THIS team…for now."

"Fine." Said Jean with a sigh.  "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to resort to this."  She closed her eyes.  "Professor!  I need your help!"

"What is it, Jean?" the Professor replied.  "Have you located Santa?"

"Yes," Jean 'answered'.  "It was the Acolytes all along!  I'm trying to turn Pietro over to the side of good but he's not cooperating!  Do you think you could… well…YOU KNOW."

"No Jean.  I would never take control of another's mind unless it was absolutely imperative."

"But he kidnapped Santa!"

"You're right!  That is MORE than absolutely imperative!  That is an emergency!"

"Thank you, Professor!!"

Then the two of them just kind of hung out in silence.

"Hey!" said Pietro.  "We have to rescue Santa!!"

"That's the spirit!" said Jean.  "Thanks Professor!"

"I didn't do anything…" the Professor answered.  "Maybe…it was the spirit of Christmas…"

"It was!" Jean exclaimed in her mind.

Kitty, meanwhile, was sitting up in the top room area watching about fifteen televisions all with a different Christmas special on.  She spun around and faced Santa.  "You like this, don't you, SANTA?" she asked.  "You know what I have not yet seen, SANTA?  A HANNUKAH SPECIAL…SANTA!!!"

"You're a monster!!" Santa yelled.

"No!" said Kitty, spinning around and hurling a menorah at the televisions and they all exploded at the same time.  "I am NOT a monster!!  YOU'RE the monster, Santa Claus!"

"Because of you, millions of boys and girls all over the world will be disappointed!" Santa exclaimed.

"Not THIS year!" came the enthusiastic voice of Scott.  Kitty and Santa whipped around to see Scott and all the X-Men as well as the Acolytes all standing behind him in a triangle formation.

"Traitors!" Kitty yelled at the Acolytes.

"We realized our wrong doings!" said Magneto.  "I may not celebrate Christmas, but, thanks to Evan, I finally came to the conclusion that we had no right to do this to Santa!"

"I had a feeling that your hearts would waver so I was prepared!!" Kitty yelled as the Brotherhood dropped down from the sky.  "Get 'em!"

"With pleasure!!" said Lance as he started shaking the world.

"This outta be easy!!" said Todd as he clung to the ceiling.

"I don't care whether it's Christmas or not, I automatically jump at the opportunity to destroy by father and brother!" Wanda declared.

"Yeah!" said Fred, at the loss of anything else to say.

"CHARGE!!!" Scott yelled as the X-Men and the Acolytes ran at the Brotherhood.  While they were engaged in mortal combat, St. John crept over to Santa.

"Santa…" he said quietly.  "If I save the day, will you take me off the Naughty List?"

"Of COURSE, Little Johnny!" chuckled Santa.

"You promise?" said St. John.  "You're not just saying that?"

"Santa never breaks his word!" Santa said, giving the scout's honor.

"Oh all right, Santa!" said St. John, pulling out a set of keys and opening the cage.  Santa then flew out of his cage and hovered above the brawl.

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!!" he bellowed, his voice echoing.  Everyone stopped their fighting and looked up at Santa.

"Santa…" gasped Lance.

"He's…so beautiful…" said Wanda.

"I'm sorry we ever started this fight." Said Todd.

"Yeah." Said Fred.

"I hope you all realize what has happened today." Santa continued as a light started shining behind him.  "This fighting is pointless on such a magical and holy day!  For shame!  Especially you, Lady Menorite!"

"Don't call me that!" Kitty yelled, blocking her ears.  "I'm Shadowcat!!"

"What is this?" Santa said.

"Santa, you have gotten me to realize…" Kitty began.  "That it is not the holiday or the presents that are important…it's the spirit!  And the togetherness!  It doesn't matter whether I celebrate Christmas…or Hannukah…or… Kwanzaa…!  All that matters is that I have the spirit in my heart!"

"Does anyone celebrate Kwanzaa?" Pietro whispered to Remy.

"Remy don't know." Remy whispered.

"Well I'm glad that you've learned your lesson." Said Santa.  "But that doesn't take away from the fact that you've been a very naughty girl."

"I'm sorry, Santa." Kitty cried.

"Well…you don't celebrate Christmas anyway so it doesn't even matter!" said Santa, producing a present from behind his back.  "Here!  Take this present to show that Santa never holds a grudge, even if you did attack my elves and blow up my house and kidnap me on Christmas!  It doesn't matter!  All that matters is that I set another mind straight about the TRUE meaning of Christmas!"

"Is that…love?" asked Scott.

"Oh my no." Said Santa.  "If I had a quarter for every time I got kidnapped on Christmas, I certainly wouldn't be making presents anymore!"

"Oh SANTA!" laughed everyone.

"HO HO HO!!" chuckled everyone as a black circle engulfed them.

Merry Christmas!

"Hey, wait." Said St. John, stepping out onto the black screen.  "In a way, there are two Santas in this world.  We have Santa Claus and Santa Allerdyce!  St. JOHN…St. NICK!  Wasn't every important person in Santa's life a Saint?  Does that mean that…"

THWAP.

"Be QUIET!" Remy instructed as he dragged St. John back through the black circle.