Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.
Pairing: KaitoxShinichi
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: They both have their funny little quirks, but that's what makes them who they are. It's what makes them the people that they each love.
Notes: This is the second installation in the "Little Steps" series. Each installation will have its own theme or running plot, and ratings will vary. Enjoy!
Little Steps: Funny Little Ways
Art
Kaito was surprised when he got home on Wednesday afternoon to find Shinichi sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading his criminology textbook. Don't get him wrong, there was nothing surprising about what Shinichi was doing. Coffee and books were like oxygen for Shinichi—essential for living. No, what surprised him was that he was positive his detective should be in class. And Shinichi never skipped class when he could help it because he was called out often enough as it was.
"I thought your art class was supposed to be right now," he remarked, sliding into the chair across from Shinichi.
For some reason, the comment made Shinichi blush. "It was," he mumbled, not looking up from his book.
"Did they cancel it?"
"…No."
"So then why aren't you there?"
"I dropped the class?"
Kaito raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you wanted to improve your drawing skills so that you could act as a police sketch artist when one wasn't handy?"
"Well I changed my mind."
"You were happy about it this morning. Did something happen?"
"…"
"Something happened."
"If you must know, they were drawing—you know." He waved a hand vaguely, blush darkening by several shades.
Kaito thought about this for a moment then laughed. "Were they nude?"
Now the color of a ripe tomato, Shinichi nodded. "They said there're going to be live models." He shuddered in horror at the mere thought of it. "And the figure drawing unit goes on for half the semester!"
Kaito couldn't help it. He doubled over laughing.
Blue eyes glared indignantly at him. "It isn't funny!"
"Yes it is," Kaito chortled. "I mean, you don't have any trouble with naked people on crime scenes. Dead ones anyway."
"That's different!"
"Really? How?"
"W—well," Shinichi stammered. "They're dead."
"Some people would think that that makes it worse."
Shinichi huffed and buried his nose in his mug.
Picture
Sitting down at his usual seat in the lecture hall, Shinichi pulled his laptop out of his bag and booted it up. He was still thinking about a case he was called in for the previous evening, so it took him a moment to register what his eyes were looking at. When he did, he flushed bright red and slammed the computer shut.
The student sitting next to him started in surprise and turned towards him. "Kudo-kun? Is something wrong?"
He could feel his face heating up even further as he spluttered, "N—no, no, everything's fine. Nothing—nothing's wrong, nothing at all."
"Ooookay. That's…good."
Shinichi looked down at his shut laptop then glanced around surreptitiously. The student sitting right behind him was staring at him, red-faced. The girl seated beside him—his girlfriend, if Shinichi remembered correctly—was trying to stifle her giggles in her arm and not doing a very good job of it. Catching Shinichi looking, the boy coughed and hurried to assure him, "We didn't see anything."
Which, of course, had to be a lie. It was clear from their reactions that they had seen something.
Shinichi spent a moment wishing the ground would open up and swallow him. But then the professor walked in, so he put his laptop away and pulled out a notebook. He could go to the library right after this lecture and change his desktop image from the one of Kaito kissing him under the mistletoe back to the nice picture of Mount Fuji it was supposed to be. He had to change his password again too.
Morning
"Good morning, Shin-chan."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"Your last final exam is today, right?"
"Mmmm hmmm."
"Mine too."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"We should celebrate."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"I made reservations for us at a restaurant one of my classmate's recommended."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"Your test ends at five?"
"Mmmm hmmm."
"I'll pick you up in front of the campus library."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"There's an alligator in the bath tub."
"Mmmm hmmm."
"Will you wear that kitty maid costume I got you for me tonight?"
"Mmmm hmmm."
Kaito hid a smirk behind his Poker Face. He loved how not a morning person his dear detective is.
Later that evening, Shinichi blushed bright red as he stared at the clothes dangling from his hands. "I never agreed to wear this!"
"Yes you did." Pulling a tiny recorder from nowhere, Kaito clicked a button. Their conversation (if you could call it that) from that morning played for Shinichi's disbelieving ears. "Now be a good detective and keep your promise~."
"B—but you tricked me!"
"A promise is a promise. Besides, do you have any proof that I tricked you?"
"You're holding it!"
"Tsk, tsk. All this proves is that you agreed. I asked, and you answered. You could've said no."
"There's no alligator. You made that up to test me."
"There is too an alligator." Kaito snapped his fingers and a plastic alligator appeared in his hands. "See? It's a soap dispenser. Cool, right?"
"…"
Riddle
Shinichi woke up that morning to find the riddle on the nightstand. Kaito had already left their apartment, though that was no surprise since the thief had an early lecture to get to. The riddle had a red rose attached to it. Shinichi smiled softly at the sight of it and added it to the roses in the vase on the living room table.
He pondered the riddle as he ate breakfast and headed out for his own first class of the day.
"Hey Kudo, what's that ya got there?"
Shinichi looked up to find Hattori standing by his desk. Oh yeah, he'd forgotten that the Osakan detective was also in this lecture. "Good morning."
Hattori chuckled as he dropped into the neighboring desk. "Not sure I'd call this mornin'. You never answered my question. What's that?"
"It's from Kaito," Shinichi replied, returning to the riddle.
Interest piqued, Hattori leaned over to get a look for himself. His brows wrinkled as he read it over twice. "Kinda reads like a Kaitou KID heist notice."
Shinichi glared. "It's not."
Hattori smirked. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. So you solved it yet?"
"Most of it," Shinichi said a bit vaguely He knew that the riddle was an invitation to dinner, and he knew that Kaito intended to pick him up at seven. He didn't yet know where exactly they were going though. He also had an inkling that Kaito had specific ideas about what he should wear for the outing, but he was still working that part out. Only the last two lines of the riddle were a complete enigma.
Being the nosy person that he was, Hattori found himself working out the riddle in his head as well. Large parts of it seemed to be referencing matters that he suspected would only make sense to Shinichi—like inside jokes—but he could decipher enough of it to realize that the note was for some kind of date. He snorted to himself. Leave it to Kuroba to ask someone on a date with a riddle.
Kudo obviously liked it though. He cast a sidelong glance at his friend and fellow detective. Yep, definitely more cheerful than normal. Go figure.
That evening at exactly seven sharp, Kaito grinned as he spotted Shinichi sitting on one of the benches outside the campus library. Conjuring a rose with a flick of his wrist, he presented it to his detective. "I see you figured out my note."
Shinichi accepted the rose with a faint blush and a rather self-satisfied smile of his own. "Of course I did." Most of it anyway, he added to himself a touch self-consciously. He let Kaito pull him to his feet. "The one you wrote last time was harder."
"Is that so?" Kaito chuckled. "I will have to make the next one more complex then. Now, shall we be on our way?"
They had a pleasant evening together simply enjoying each other's company. It wasn't until they were taking a walk the long way home that Shinichi thought to ask, "What were the last two lines about though? They were the only part that didn't make any sense."
"Oh? I'm surprised. I thought that part would have been obvious." Smirking, Kaito leaned down to whisper into the detective's ear.
Blue eyes widened as the magician spoke and Shinichi choked. Then his face turned bright red, and he smacked the thief upside the head. "Pervert! What if somebody else figures it out?!"
Indigo eyes blinked innocently at him. "You mean you showed someone else my riddle?"
"I didn't show anyone," Shinichi huffed, not believing that look for a second. "But Hattori saw it in class this morning."
"I doubt he would be very surprised," Kaito said in what he probably thought was a placating manner. "Especially not after he walked in on us last month," he added, referring to an incident when he had ambushed his dear detective in one of the university library's many private study rooms. He smirked at the memory. That afternoon had been fun in oh so many ways.
Shinichi seriously considered finding a bridge to jump off of.
Sustenance
The kitchen is not a place that Kaito goes very often. When he'd been ten, his mother had banned him from hers, though in his defense he hadn't meant to make the thing explode. When he'd moved out of home to go to college, he'd tried cooking for himself once. But his taste buds had rebelled at the disaster, and after that the only things he made by himself were either microwaveable, just-add-water, or a sandwich. Now that he and Shinichi were living together, he left the cooking to his better half. Okay, it wasn't entirely his decision. He'd tried to help once, and now he was banned from ever doing so again (he swears it was an accident, but Shinichi says that makes it worse).
Therefore it wasn't until Shinichi got sick one day that Kaito first opened the pantry doors.
He stared at the sight that greeted him. There are three full shelves packed with bags upon bags of coffee beans. It would not be exaggerating to say that there was more coffee than any other edible substance in the house.
When he thought about it though, it made perfect sense. Shinichi practically lived on coffee. It was the first thing he looked for every morning because he couldn't wake up without it. He had to be reminded regularly that the bitter, brown liquid did not provide real sustenance.
Shaking his head, smiling, Kaito continued his search for the chicken broth.
Prank
Everyone who had gone to and is going to school with Kuroba Kaito knows that he is a prankster.
Some might have thought that Shinichi, being his boyfriend, would be exempt from said pranks. This, however, is not the case.
"Kaito! My clothes!"
"They look wonderful on you."
"No, I mean my other clothes! Give them back!"
"I'm sorry, what other clothes are we talking about here?"
"Kaito!"
Watching as the blue-eyed detective chased the magician around the open-air dining area before one of the most popular eateries on campus, Hattori shook his head. "I swear it never ends."
Seated across from him, Kazuha laughed. "I think they're cute."
The Osakan detective gawked at her, but before he could say anything, Shinichi reappeared by their table. The Detective of the East let out a tired sigh and dropped back into his empty seat. It was clear that his attempt to retrieve his clothes had been unsuccessful. Today's outfit was a short, sparkly, magician's assistant-type dress. Hattori can't help but notice that the cut and color of the outfit would make it a nice match with Kaitou KID's uniform. Kuroba wasn't being very subtle today.
"Ya know, if you two weren't already datin', I'd say it's like a little boy pulling on a girl's pigtails," he observed, shaking his head. "Or I guess in his case it would be flippin' up her skirts."
Kazuha burst out laughing. Her hands flew up to cover her own mouth in a futile attempt to hold back the sound. "S—sorry, it's just—" She dissolved into laughter again.
Hattori gave his girlfriend a strange look before turning back to Shinichi. "I just don't get it. How can ya stand it? This is the third time this week!"
Shinichi opened his mouth then closed it again, choosing instead to shrug. He wasn't sure how to explain it to the others, but while the costumes could be all kinds of embarrassing, they were also a sign of just how much time Kaito spent thinking about him. Besides, his pranks were just another one of the (admittedly odd) ways in which Kaito expressed his thoughts. For instance, Shinichi could tell what kind of mood Kaito was in from the costumes the magician put him in. Take today's outfit, for example. The KID colors and the magician's assistant theme told him that Kaito was feeling mischievous and even more in the mood to show off than he usually was. It was also a reminder to Shinichi that the magician thought about him as a partner in this endless show that was life. The somewhat revealing cut of the clothes also suggested that Kaito was feeling horny, and Shinichi should probably expect to be jumped when they got home. Shinichi made a mental note to pick up dinner on the way back then since he probably wouldn't be given time to cook.
Outfits got more formal when Kaito was feeling romantic and more suggestive when—well, that was probably self explanatory. Finer nuances could be deduced from the themes of the costumes themselves. It was all about the details.
So no, though Shinichi would complain about his partner's habit of dressing him up, he doesn't actually mind. He's just glad that Kaito's considerable possessive streak keeps the more…outlandish outfits from making appearances in public.
Luck
"Ah! He's dead!"
If he had a hundred yen for every time he'd heard an exclamation like that, Shinichi would have amassed a small fortune by now. It happened so often that even he was starting to find it weird. Most of his acquaintances had started advising that he go get himself exorcised, and that was just a little sad considering many of those acquaintances didn't even believe in the supernatural, let alone curses. In general, it was agreed by all that he had the worst luck in the world.
Shinichi himself was of more mixed opinions on the matter. While it was true that he had a tendency to lose games of chance and attracted criminals and lunatics like there was no tomorrow, it didn't mean that all his luck was bad. If all his luck was bad, he would be dead by now. After all, he ran into murderers around every corner, and quite a lot of them had tried to kill him. Though he didn't like to admit it, it was only dumb luck that half of them hadn't succeeded.
"The police will be here shortly. If you turn yourself in, it will go easier for you."
"You brat!" Letting out a snarl, the man lunged, fist rising.
A hand caught his wrist before he could take two steps and deftly twisted his arm up behind his back. "Now, now, is that any way to behave when someone gives you advice?"
Meeting Kaito had been a stroke of good luck too. It was ironic really, considering the magician was also a criminal. So maybe attracting criminals wasn't entirely a bad thing either.
"Don't you think the stinky paint was a bit too much? I mean, you already had him plastered to the wall and helpless…"
"The bastard deserved it."
Part of Shinichi could see his point. After all, the man had murdered his own brother. But after an entire hour of watching the guy go green and vomit from the stench while being stuck spread-eagled to the wall…well, it wasn't the kind of experience Shinichi would wish on anyone. The man had actually thanked the police when they finally arrived and peeled him off the wall.
"Come on Shin-chan, we don't want to miss our train."
"I'm sorry. I know you had other plans. But instead we ended up at the police station all day…"
Kaito reached over to ruffle his hair. "Nah, that's alright. It's your calling anyway."
Shinichi paused in his steps, blinking up at the magician in confusion. "Calling?"
"Well yeah. I figure it's the only logical reason for you to run into all the cases you do. If it's a curse then it's a curse on those who take the lives of others. It's Fate's way of making sure those bastards don't get away with it."
Shinichi wasn't sure he'd call that logical himself, but he found the magician's words comforting despite that. The truth was that there were times when he couldn't help but feel depressed by the amount of death he saw. It sometimes made him wonder if he was making any difference, but he couldn't stop because he couldn't turn a blind eye to murder and the darkness it spread. He refused to be one of those people who didn't care.
But, though he would continue his battle against the dark either way, it was nice to know that at least Kaito believed in him. He wondered sometimes if Kaito knew just how much it meant to him. Maybe one day, when he has the courage, Shinichi will tell him.
Scheme
They were in the library of the Kudo Manor again. Classes were out for the week so they had decided to spend it at the house for a change of scenery. Shinichi was curled up in the armchair, reading the latest installment in a new detective series. The rest of the library was a mess of papers—blueprints, diagrams, scribbled notes and calculations. Standing over the spread of papers was one Kuroba Kaito. Shinichi wasn't sure if he was planning for a heist or a show or both, and frankly he felt that his sanity was safer if he remained oblivious. It was a comfortable afternoon made perfect merely by each other's company.
Shinichi was, therefore, a bit annoyed when the peace was shattered by the sound of his phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Kudo! Tell Kuroba I'm suing him for destruction of property!"
"…Uh, okay…" Pulling the phone from his ear, Shinichi caught Kaito's eye. "It's Hakuba-san. He says he's going to sue you for destruction of property."
"What property would that be exactly?"
Shinichi brought the phone back to his ear as his gaze fell back to his book to pick up where he'd left off. "He wants to know what property."
"My apartment! He painted extra doors and disguised the real ones."
"Oh." Shinichi blinked. "Kai, he says you painted fake doors in his apartment and hid the real ones."
Kaito chuckled. "Now that sounds like a prank worth seeing. Does he have proof that it was me?"
"He wants to know if you have proof that he did it."
"It couldn't have been anyone else!"
"That would be circumstantial though," Shinichi said absently, flipping to the next page of his book. "Do you have anything solid?"
There was a long silence before the line went dead.
Shinichi put the phone down and continued reading. By now he was used to getting irate or pleading phone calls from one or another of Kaito's victims. He wasn't sure what they expected him to do about it. It wasn't like he could stop Kaito from being the mayhem-loving person that he was. If it wasn't one thing then it would be another. Kaito had a million schemes for everything. Besides, Kaito wouldn't be Kaito if he wasn't scheming something. And that was much too terrible a prospect for Shinichi to even contemplate. He didn't think he was the only one either considering just as many people—some of them the same ones—called to ask him (many with great nervousness) what was up if Kaito hadn't pulled anything in some time.
"I do think you should put it back the way it was though," he said later because while he couldn't stop Kaito he did feel obliged to try help keep the peace. "He's renting that apartment for school. His landlord isn't going to be happy. And an angry landlord isn't something anyone should have forced on them."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. It was only funny before he figured out where the real doors were anyway. I'll fix it by the end of the week."
Bargains
"I'm not going," Kaito repeated, eyes never leaving the newspaper he was reading as he reclined on the couch in the Kudo Manor living room.
"But you were the one who told everyone else we'd be there," Shinichi pointed out for what felt like the millionth time that day.
"Yeah, but that was before they decided it would be at the beach." It must have been that bastard Hakuba's idea. He made a mental note to do something extra humiliating to the blonde on his next heist.
"But we already promised…" The detective let out an exasperated breath. It was incredibly bizarre, he reflected, that it was him trying to convince Kaito that they should join their friends on their trip to the beach. Usually it was Kaito insisting that Shinichi go somewhere. Of course, Kaito had a tendency to skip the asking part and go straight to the going—Shinichi had lost count of the number of times he'd woken up to find that he'd been bundled into the backseat of a car while he'd been sleeping (and that was the most normal of the vast number of scenarios he'd been exposed to since Kaito had become a permanent part of his daily life). "If we miss one more of these outings Ran's going to be really mad."
Kaito made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat and turned a page.
"Just go this once and we can do whatever you want for the rest of the summer," he offered as a last resort. In his experience Kaito was much easier to bargain with (bribe) than to threaten. The only kinds of threats that really worked were the ones that involved scaly creatures with fins on, but any attempt, successful or not, always garnered future retaliation. He had seen it happen many times, and he wondered sometimes if the magician kept some kind of mental black list cataloging assorted offenders and the degrees of retribution to be dealt out. It could take weeks or even months, but no one ever got away with poking Kaito's sore points (so it was probably a good thing that there were only about three of them).
Kaito paused, obviously turning the idea over. "For the entire summer?"
"Yes."
"Anything I want?"
Shinichi hesitated a moment at the calculating look in the magician's eyes but nodded. "Y—yeah."
"And assist me in my next three shows, including the one after classes start up again."
"Uh…o—okay…"
The magician mulled it over for another few moments before grinning (Shinichi could almost see the wheels turning in his head, and he suddenly wished he could undo the last several minutes of the conversation and just make up some kind of excuse to tell Ran). The newspaper disappeared with a flourish and he bounded up off the couch. "All right, let's go then. Wouldn't want to keep everyone waiting~."
-END-
