Same Girl

Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera or the song Same Girl. I also don't own Erik or Usher (unfortunately) nor R. Kelly, Raoul, or Christine.

So this is based on the duet of the same name by R. Kelly and Usher, and it's Raoul and Erik singing about Christine. And Raoul and Erik are best friends, because that's the way the song works, so deal with it. (Honestly I would rather Erik and Raoul team up against Christine and be friends than her be happy, because I detest her.) I decided to write this because Christine was playing them just like the girl in the song was doing. And, because I'm crazy.

This might not be exactly parallel to the actual song, as I haven't specifically made Erik sing just Usher's lines and Raoul sing just R. Kelly's, though it starts out that way. I mixed it up a little, and have them both singing sometimes when only one of the actual artists was singing, because they both planned on marrying Christine, and yada, yada. I don't know why I'm explaining this because since this is a parody, no one expects it to be the same. Ahem//end speech. Anyways, it was fun to write, and I thought it quite funny, so I hope you all do as well.

Erik. Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh! Raoul. Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-hoo!

Raoul: Yo Er. (This is said like 'air' not 'err', fyi)

Erik: What up, Raouls?

Raoul: Wanna introduce you to this girl, think I really love this girl.

Erik: Yeah?

Raoul: Mask, she so fine.

Erik: Straight up, dog?

Raoul: She stand about five fo', corsets got whalebone.

Erik: Damn!

Raoul: She a chorus girl, soprano.

Erik: Mm-hm

Raoul: Says some call her "Angel".

Erik: What?

Raoul: Hair that looks like caramel. Plus she's making francs, so … she got a crib on Rue Scribe –

Erik: Rue Scribe?

Raoul: Right on Champ-Elysees.

Erik: Huh?

Raoul: And I call her "Lotte".

Erik: Wait a minute, hold on, dog. Do she got a maid?

Raoul: Yep.

Erik: Love my opera house?

Raoul: Yep.

Erik: Do she got an angel that teaches her to sing?

Raoul: Mask?

Erik: Came here to do ballet?

Raoul: Yep…

Erik: Friends with Meg Giry?

Raoul: Yep.

Erik: Man, I can't believe this chick… damn… mm

Raoul: Tell me what's wrong, dog. What the hell you damnin' 'bout? I'm your homie, so just say what's on your mind.

Erik: Man, I didn't know that you were talkin' about her.

Raoul: So, Mask, you tellin' me you know her?

Erik: Do I know her? Like a dead man know his coffin!

Both: We messin' with the same girl, same girl, the same girl!

Raoul: How could the love of my life, and my potential wife be the

Both: the same girl, same girl, same girl.

Erik: Man, I can't believe that we've been messin' with the same girl,

Both: same girl, the same girl.

Erik: Thought she was someone that I could trust, but she been doublin' up with us!

Raoul: E … E.

Erik: R … R.

Both: Man, we been messin' with the same girl!

Erik: See, I met her in her dressing room in Paris.

Raoul: Well, I met her on this seashore in Trestraou.

Erik: She came right up to the mirror, givin' me conversation. I said, "Do you got an angel?" She said "No.", with no hesitation.

Raoul: Well, it must be a music thing, cause she said the same to me … at the seashore, when we're singin' songs and I'm rescuin' the scarf she lost!

Erik: She asked to see me and said, "Can you take me home?"

Raoul: Me too! Mask, she was on the roof singin' that same song!

Erik: Is that true?

Raoul: And I thought it was true confession when she said, "I love you."

Erik: Man, I thought her body was calling when she said, "I want you."

Raoul: Look, I even got some pictures on my phone! (Um, yeah, they have phones. Camera phones. Erik invented them, okay?)

Erik: And look-a there. There she is with some white stockings on!

Both: We messin' with the same girl, same girl, the same girl. She's the apple of my eye, and my potential wife - the same girl, same girl, the same girl.

Erik: Man, I just can't believe that we been messin' 'round with the same damn girl!

Both: The same girl (Oh yeah), same girl, the same girl!

Erik: Thought she was someone that I could trust,

Raoul: But she's been doublin' up with both of us! E…

Erik: Ay! R…

Raoul: Ay!

Both: Man, we been messin' with the same girl!

Raoul: Said she'd wear my gemstone.

Erik: Are you talkin' 'bout the green stone?

Raoul: Mm-mm. The red one.

Erik: Man, she told me that was an heirloom! It's obvious that she been playin' us, playin' us. Constantly she been lyin' to us, lyin' to us.

Raoul: Don't like the way that she been going 'bout it, going 'bout it. Erik, what you think that we should do about it, do about it?

Erik: You call her up, at her home. She won't know I'm on the phone.

Raoul: Yeah, man, that's the lick!

Erik: Homie, we about to bust this trick! Ask her to meet up with you, and I'm gonna show up too!

Raoul: And she won't know what to do!

Erik: We'll be standing there singing:

Both: The same girl, same girl, same girl. She was the apple of my eye, and my potential wife – the same girl, same girl, same girl!

Erik: Raoul, E can't believe we been messin' with the same girl, same girl,

Raoul: Oh-oh!

Erik: Same girl!

Raoul: Oh-ho!

Erik: She gonna be lookin' so stupid when she see us together! R.

Raoul: E.

Both: Man, we been messin' with the same girl.

Erik: See, she was takin' carriage rides.

Raoul: Yeah.

Erik: Goin' back and forth.

Raoul: Yeah. Man, I would pick her up after performances! I really can't believe ---

Erik: I just can't believe it –

Both: The same girl.

Erik: Ooh-oh. Ay!

Both: Same girl, the same girl …

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So … love it? Hate it? Tell me what you liked or what I could have done better. I'm definitely review hungry.