(Professor Pruve's POV)
Hello, my name is Professor Pruve. Nice to meet you. I live in a stupid, boring, uneventful village in a stupid, boring, uneventful superflat biome.
I'm a writer. I earn about 20 emeralds a week for my fantastic stories. How do I write such fantastic stories in such an unfantastic setting, you may be thinking? Well, I don't know either. I try to suck out as much coolness from my imagination as I can from my stupid sponge of a brain. Okay, now you're probably bored already because I suck at word choice. I keep using words like "stupid" and "fantastic." Well I'm used to criticism from teenage brats like you.
Why, teenage and preteen and seven-year-old players kill my kind for fun. I don't know why. What did villagers ever do to humans? But in a way, I can't blame you. We are ugly. We trade stupid emeralds when all you want are diamonds. We can't help it! It's in our code! I've tried writing a book about this matter, but it was too boring. I don't get politics and stuff like that (whether why players shouldn't kill villagers is politics or not).
I write humor and adventure. I've tried romance, but it gets so gushy I get more bored than grossed out. See, I am a writer. But there is no such thing as a writer in the codes, so I'm a librarian. But the library is a nice, quiet place to write. Personally, I prefer it because you can make "her" sounds all you want without getting kicked in the head!
Back then, I was always writing. But now I only write part-time! I have another profession which you wouldn't even guess. One villagers shouldn't be able to do. What is it? Here's a hint:_. Haha. You fell for that. You thought I was going to tell you! Of course not! Not until you VOW to be nice to villagers for the rest of your Minecraft days. If you don't vow and read on anyway, I will kick you in the head the next time I see you. It could be difficult, but if you are a famous Youtuber, it will be easy to track you down. That is, I don't know if Youtubers even use this website. But don't underestimate me! Just because I'm an author with a strange sense of humor that writes without moving his hands, that doesn't mean I can't kick robe! So if you refuse to vow, THINK OF ME THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A VILLAGER.
