OK, so here is a teaser for my new fic but it's still gonna be a few weeks before I can truly get stuck in... you may get the occasional chapter here and there when I get time but life is CRAZY right now lol

Someone asked for Killian to get addicted to drugs so I thought I'd put my own spin on that and poor Hook is gonna suffer.

Between his pain pills, Gold and the Shadow Man... Killian Jones Senior is in for a very bumpy ride.

Will his family stick by his side or will they only see the "drug addict" that he appears to be? And will they be so distracted by all that is going on that they will fail to notice a shadowy figure stalking around town?

Let's find out shall we?

He'd had so much hope, he had been so happy, he had been looking forward to the future but three weeks to the day since he and David had returned from Neverland Killian Jones Senior found himself sitting alone in the crows nest pretending to watch the sun rise so that he could secretly take more pain pills. He had woken through the night feeling light headed and queasy yet again where upon he had taken a single pill but now as morning rushed in he knew his body needed more. Whale had assured him that he would be free from these damned things within a month yet with only a week to go to reach that date Killian had found himself taking more and more just to keep away the sickness.

He gave a sigh as his eyes fell on the pills. He knew that he should talk to Swan about this but she seemed so happy that he didn't want to worry her... perhaps he could speak to David instead.

Aye, that was what he would do, his Brother would know what to do.

Killian looked back to the rising sun with a sigh, how had he managed to do this to himself? It had started off so well, he had managed with little issue with his first dose reduction but about midway through that first week he had started awakening in a cold sweat and feeling like his world was distorted. He hadn't woken Swan thinking that the feeling would pass instead choosing to hide up here... he thought that it would get better as time passed but if anything it had gotten worse. He started having the same feeling during the day and out of desperation on a day where he was to accompany his boys to watch Henry in a school play he had taken an extra pill... it had worked, he had felt like his old self for the rest of the day... until bed time had come around and he found himself yet again lying under the covers sweating and shaking.

"PAPA" he was pulled from his musings by Juniors voice calling up from the deck.

Killian threw the pills down his throat and swallowed thickly before looking over the edge "What is it Son?"

"Momma said to get your butt inside, breakfast is ready" he gave a little grin and Killian couldn't help the smile that came to his face as he looked at the boy.

"Tell Momma Swan not to get her feathers in a flap, I will be right down" He chuckled as Junior laughed and ran back inside yelling as he went.

Killian pulled in a deep breath, this was the last day he was doing this. Tomorrow he would talk to David and ask for help. He couldn't keep doing this but today he knew that he needed to be able to function... after all it was his Birthday as decided by Henry.

He wasn't supposed to know but David had warned him after the boys had decided to throw him a surprise party at the tribe's camp. Killian had only had two panic attacks since their return and David had wanted to make sure that it didn't turn to three, something that Killian was glad about. He had only been out to the camp once since the teepees were set up and although it had been his idea for the tribe to settle there that damned tree had still been standing and he couldn't help the uneasy feeling that had kept sneaking up on him.

"HOOK" Swan's voice called up from below deck "Get your ass into gear. Henry made pancakes"

He chuckled as he threw himself over the edge and started his descent only pausing slightly to puff out a couple of breaths to settle the pain in his hip. Henry made the best pancakes and he found himself wishing that his stomach was not currently doing somersaults, he would really like to enjoy his day.

"What were you doing up there?" Emma asked with a little frown as he hit the deck

He lent across and dropped a kiss on to her lips "Just watching the world go by Love"

She shook her head and laughed "I swear you and Junior could sleep up there"

"I have done, many a time" he laughed throwing an arm around her shoulder as they headed down to the galley, Killian sniffed the air and hummed in fake appreciation "Smells good Love"

Emma just grinned at him before shrugging out of his grasp and taking his hand. She walked backwards tugging him after her "Close your eyes"

"What?" he laughed "Why?"

"Just do it" she grinned back stopping before they got to the door

Killian pulled in a breath while still wearing his forced smile and closed his eyes "Fine but best be quick, I am starved" he lied easily knowing that Swan would expect him to be hungry after having an early night the night before and missing supper.

He felt Swan tug him forward so he just followed, he could feel the excited tension in the room as they walked through the doorway and could tell that Swan had stopped him at the head of the table.

"OK you can open your eyes"

He grinned and did just that but the minute his eyes were open he actually jumped in shock as his whole family including David and Mary-Margaret yelled "SURPRISE"

He staggered backwards and his hand came up to his chest as his brain tried to catch up with the noise "What the bloody hell?"

"It's your Birthday Papa" Junior yelled out running forward and clamping himself to Killian's leg

"And very nearly my Death day too" Killian sighed out letting his hand fall to Junior's shoulder "I was not expecting that"

"Did you get a fright like I did on my Birthday?" Junior grinned up at him

"Aye Lad" he replied ruffling the Lad's hair "That I did"

"You have gifts" Junior suddenly beamed as he pulled himself from Killian's leg and ran back to the table "Come, sit down between Henry and I"

Killian did as he was told smiling widely at everyone as he settled into place and a plate of pancakes was placed in front of him. His stomach rolled ominously but he just kept smiling at everyone around him.

"Breakfast first" Swan said "Before these bad boys get cold, Henry worked hard on them"

Killian looked to his side to see Henry grinning at him "Thank you Son, you are too good to me"

Henry just shrugged "I'm only as good to you are you are to me... plus... it means I get pancakes too"

Killian laughed hard "I like how you think Lad"

All too soon the pancakes were eaten even though they sat quite heavily in Killian's stomach. He hoped beyond hope that the pills did their job quickly and his guts would settle before he had to explain to the others why he was still puking his guts up when he had told them that he barely needed his pills anymore.

"Open your gifts" Junior grinned coming up onto his feet to crouch on the bench and reaching forward to tug the largest one closer.

"This one is from Henry" he was practically bouncing now as Killian reached forward and picked up the the gift, the minute his fingers touched it he knew it was a book but when the paper was stripped away he was genuinely happy to see that it was one mapping out the skies above them.

"Thank you Son" Killian smiled flicking through the pages to see many illustrations of the night sky "This is something that we can learn together"

"Cool" Henry cried out "Can we use the sextant too?"

"Aye Lad, I think that can be arranged" Killian grinned back remembering how he had shown it to the lad before but the moment didn't last as Junior was shoving another gift in front of him.

"This one next"

Killian quickly unwrapped the brightly colored gift to reveal what he recognized as a pile of DVDs which included Jurassic Park. He smirked and looked to David with a knowing look, then he smiled at Mary-Margaret "Thank you, you are too kind"

David grinned "We need to have a movie night before too long and now you're not watching on that tiny screen you will enjoy these even more"

"It's a date" Killian replied but then suddenly realized what he had said and got a bit flustered "I mean... well obviously not a date date... I just... uhm... I meant..."

"What? You mean you wouldn't date me?" David burst out in mock indignation "And here was me thinking we had something special"

Killian just shook his head and laughed "You know what I meant"

But David pouted his lips and gave a wink "Oh I know exactly what you meant"

"Right enough" Swan suddenly yelled as both Junior and Henry nearly laughed themselves silly "Can we drop the bromance for five minutes, just get on with opening these before it's lunch time"

"I agree" Mary-Margaret laughed "This just got a little too strange"

Killian was laughing again as Junior passed him the next parcel, he picked it up gave a frown at the unexpected weight. He experimented with it letting it lay across palm of his hand to try and judge how much it weighed but when Junior stood on the bench and clamped his hand over his mouth to try and hide his excitement Killian knew if he didn't open it soon the Lad was going to do himself a mischief so he just stripped the paper off revealing... he didn't know what.

He must have looked confused because Henry lent forward to explain "It's a telescope, kinda, but not just a normal one... with this one you can see in the dark"

"Truly?" Killian asked in surprise lifting the thing up and studying it closer

"Yeah, look" Henry said standing up and taking the telescope "You take the caps off, but only when it's dark, don't do it in the light otherwise you'll damage it. So yeah, you take the caps off then you press this button and look through it. Me and Mom checked it out last night to make sure it was working and it's AWESOME, you can see EVERYTHING although not in color, everything looks green"

"Green?" Junior asked tilting his head with a frown "Why green?"

Henry just shrugged "I don't know but you can still see what everything is, it's cool"

"May I look through it tonight Papa?"

"I think that we can maybe arrange that, how about a late night trip to the crows nest?"

"Aye" Junior cried out

Killian's eyes fell back onto the telescope and he suddenly wished that it was dark so he could spend time with his boys but in the next second he was being pulled from his thoughts when Junior gave a giggle and jumped off the bench. He ran from the room to return in seconds clutching a large flat parcel.

"This one is from me Papa"

Killian took the gift and he could tell from the paper that the Lad had wrapped it himself, he looked to Emma, she just shrugged but when he looked to Henry he found him grinning widely... so he had been the one to help Junior.

A little nervous flutter hit Killian's stomach at the anticipation of opening Junior's gift and it had his heart rate picking up.

"Open it" the Lad beamed climbing back up to kneel next to him

Killian pulled in a breath before letting the gift lay flat on the table. He ripped back the paper to reveal a very detailed charcoal drawing of all of them together but as Killian's eyes roamed over the sketch his heart skipped a beat at the two extra figure on either side of the picture, one stood next to Junior and one stood next to Killian himself. He suddenly found himself blinking back tears as he realized what his boy had done.

He looked up to find Junior's smile gone "Now we are all together"

"Lad..." Killian found his throat closing as he looked back at the face of his brother, both as a child and as an adult. How had Junior known what Liam looked like?

"It's alright Papa" Junior said reaching forward and wrapping his arms around Killian's neck "We both have our Liam's with us now"

Suddenly there was a very wet sniff from the other side of the table and Killian looked across to see Mary-Margaret wiping her face on her sleeve, when their eyes met she gave a huge grin and giggled.

"I'm sorry, look at the state of me"

"It's alright Love" Killian chuckled back "I am a bit emotional myself"

Junior pulled back and Killian realized that he was crying too, his little bottom lip was trembling but he suddenly gave a watery smile and scrubbed his face "Today is a happy day, Liam would not want us to be sad"

"Thank you Son" Killian said reaching up and wiping a fresh tear from the boy's face "You have captured us all wonderfully but how did you know what my Liam looked like?"

"Belle helped me" he replied with a grin

Henry spoke again "We didn't think we were going to be able to do it but Belle asked Grandpa Gold to help"

"I don't understand" Killian frowned "Liam was gone before I met the Crocodile"

Henry just shrugged again "I don't know how he did it but he got a picture from somewhere"

Killian was flabbergasted, why would Gold help with this? What was his game?

But right here right now he didn't care, he had his gift and that was all that mattered. The others all started clearing the table of the breakfast dishes but Killian found himself just staring at his drawing in it's frame.

"It's beautiful" Swan suddenly said sitting back down next to him "I had no idea he could draw like that"

Killian chuckled and looked up to meet her gaze "Aye, I always had a love of charcoal. Maybe I should start to draw again. I used to spend many an hour up on deck just sketching, it was relaxing"

"I'd like to see what you can do, if this is what you could draw like at five I'm very interested to see what over three hundred years of life experience has brought"

"And what would you like me to draw Love?" he asked quirking a brow as Henry and Junior ran from the room

She grinned widely, gave him a wink and whispered "Me of course but I'll let you decide the pose"

He suddenly grinned back "Is that a promise?"

"Aye" she grinned back standing up "Come on Pirate, we have "things" to do"

"Things?" he asked knowing exactly what she was talking about but she didn't know that.

"Yes, things. Now move that butt before Junior wrecks the place, he's a bit excited in case you hadn't noticed" she marched from the room and headed towards deck yelling as she went "RIGHT, ON DECK YOU TWO AND JUNIOR YOU SO MUCH AS THINK ABOUT CLIMBING THAT RIGGING AND YOU WILL BE IN TROUBLE, WE NEED TO GET GOING?"

Killian chuckled to himself as he tried to stand but a sudden wave of dizziness hit him and in the next second he found himself lying on his back staring up at a worried David and Mary-Margaret.

"Killian?" Mary-Margaret called giving him a slight shake

He blinked his eyes widely and shook his head "I'm alright, I just stood up too quickly"

"Not buying it Pirate" David replied with a deep frown "What's going on?"

Suddenly Killian felt trapped, he had been caught out. This fainting thing was definitely to do with his extra pills, he knew that because it had happened a few times now yet he did NOT want to discuss it right here right now with his future parents so instead he got defensive and snapped at them... another side effect that kept hitting his mood.

"Bloody hell Mate, why do you have to read in to everything?" He growled hauling himself up to his feet "I am fine, you no longer need to watch me like a damned hawk all the time so will you just bloody well stop, it is getting quite tiresome"

David looked a bit shocked but Killian didn't have time for this as his stomach rolled ominously so he just barged from the room and headed straight for the bathroom instead where he slammed the door closed and leant against it trying to calm his breathing and settle his gut but moments later he was puking for Storybrooke and praying to the Gods that no one could hear him.

He was a mess, he was sweating heavily and his stomach still felt heavy but at least the bout had passed so he pulled himself to his feet and flushed before heading to the sink to wash his face. Killian looked in the mirror to see his dishevelled reflection look back at him... Gods, he looked a state.

Pulling in a deep breath he quickly washed the sweat from his face and brushed his teeth before putting on a healthy dose of Kohl. Over the years it had helped hide his red rimmed eyes from a previous days drinking and now it would help him hide this. A few minutes later just as he was finishing there was a knock on the door.

"Killian?"

Emma, David must have told her about before so he pulled out his happy voice and called back "Aye Love?"

"You OK?"

He pulled in a deep breath and smiled into the mirror to make sure he could pull this off before striding to the door and pulling it open "I was just making myself all pretty for you Swan, I know how much you love it when I make the effort"

Swan giggled and swatted his chest as he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, she smiled up at him for a second before becoming a bit serious "I love you so much Killian, you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

"I love you too Swan" he replied and to avoid answering the question he just pulled her into a kiss instead.

"Ewwwwwwwwww" Junior drawled and when Killian pulled back and looked he could see the Lad's head poking through the doorway to the deck.

"You will appreciate this one day Son believe me. When you find your Swan you will want to do this too"

Junior just giggled then yelled "Come on, we are ready to go"

"And just where are we off to?" Killian asked suddenly being pulled behind Emma again as they headed towards the boy

"It's a secret" Junior squealed and he was off again, running across the deck laughing loudly.

Killian chuckled "I wish I could get that excited about life"

"Hey, he's happy and that's all that matters remember"

"Aye Love" Killian replied meeting Swan's gaze "He is and for that I am truly thankful"

When they hit the dock David was leaning on his truck, he gave Killian a quick smile but avoided a prolonged look just ducking his head and looking away. Suddenly Killian felt bad, David had only wanted to help and he had snapped at him. He pulled in a breath and turned to Swan making a decision that he hoped would pay off.

"I will ride with David so that Mary-Margaret can ride with the boys"

"You sure?" she replied looking at him strangely but Killian knew that with Neal's car seat thing being in the bug it sounded more plausible.

"Aye Love, a mother should not be too far from her children"

"OK" Emma smiled but then she narrowed her eyes and whispered "He's told you hasn't he? You know where we're going."

He gave little smile "Do not get angry with him Lass, he was only doing what he thought was right and being honest I am glad that he did. I... that... that place still holds a lot of memories, ones that will take time to heal."

"Oh Killian, I am so sorry. I am such and idiot. We should have had your party somewhere else"

"It is fine Love" he reassured stepping forward and hugging her "I will be fine now that I know what is coming... this may even help me"

She gave an unsure smile but nodded before coming up onto her toes and kissing him "Go with your Shilah then Apenimon but tell him not to drive too fast, my bug can't keep up with that new engine of his"

Killian chuckled "Maybe you should cast a spell upon the bug too"

"Maybe I will" she grinned back before she suddenly slapped his ass "Now move, people are expecting us"

Killian pulled in another deep breath and headed for the truck pulling himself in quickly and doing up his belt.

"What are you doing?" David asked suspiciously

Killian glanced to the side "Fist off I am apologizing. I am sorry Brother, I should not have snapped at you"

"It's fine" David replied with a smile "I just worry about you, you know"

"I do know" Killian sighed before looking out the window as they started off down the road

"Soooooo" David said looking at him quickly "Why are you in here with me and not in the bug?"

Killian didn't answer straight away, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to do this. His heart rate picked up and he found himself puffing out a few breaths trying to calm himself down.

"Killian? What is it? You're starting to worry me"

"I am an idiot David" he finally sighed out. David didn't throw back his usual quip, he just stayed quiet waiting for Killian to carry on "I have gotten myself into a situation that I can't seem to get out of by myself"

David sighed "You've been taking too may pills haven't you?"

Killian's head snapped up and he looked at David in awe "How? How did you know?"

"Because I'm not stupid Hook. I bumped into Whale the other day and he mentioned that you needed to be more careful about losing your pills. You told him you accidentally dropped them overboard yet you hadn't told any of us that... it got me thinking, why would you need more pills? When you accused me of watching you like a hawk you were right, I have been but I think I had good reason. You are tired all the time, irritable, you look like death warmed up until you put your make up on and this morning you keeled over... tell me that was the first that that's happened and I'll call you a liar"

Killian didn't reply, he was too ashamed.

"Why Killian? That's what I want to know"

"I didn't mean to David I swear" Killian cried out "I just felt awful and needed to feel better for Henry's play so I too ONE extra pill... I told myself it would just be the one time but then Swan told me how proud she was that I was managing so well and I didn't want to disappoint her so I found myself taking more so that she would not see that I was still suffering from the effects but then my supply started to run low and I needed more..."

"So you lied to Whale" David threw in

"Aye" Killian sighed looking back out the window "I promised myself that I would sort myself out but when I tried to reduce my dose I seriously thought I was going to die... David it was awful"

David looked thoughtful for a moment before glancing over at him "OK, so what do you want me to do?"

That was new... David just normally told him what was to happen and this caught Killian by surprise which must have shown as David carried on.

"I can't do this for you Killian, you have to want to do it and it's gonna be hard"

"I do want to, I promise" Killian turned slightly in his seat to face David "Please I need my life back. I will do whatever it takes to beat this I swear"

"Do you trust me?" David asked with a sigh

"Always Brother"

"Then give me the pill bottle"

Killian frowned but dug the bottle out of his pocket and held it out, David took it and tucked it in his own pocket.

"OK, we get through today then you, me and Emma are going to sit down with Whale and get a new program set up. It is gonna be hard Hook... you are gonna suffer but together we can all do this although I think that it might be best if you stay at the loft foe a while so that the boys don't know what's going on. We can say that we've gone on a scouting mission or something. Mary-Margaret can stay on the Jolly with the boys so that their routine is not messed with."

"Emma will hate me" Killian sighed bowing his head in shame

"She doesn't know how to you idiot. She loves you. It's not like you did this on purpose plus you've asked for help, she'll see that you just messed up. Now, are you in?

"Aye" Killian nodded instantly "I will not let you down"

"I know" was all David replied but it was enough and for the first time since Killian took that one extra pill that sent his life spiralling down this hell hole he felt hope.

He was going to beat this... with his family by his side he could beat anything the world threw at him.