Field of Deans – SN fic – chpt 1.

by: sifi

Disclaimer: Present and accounted for.

Love, unflagging.

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Mmm hot... is that birds?... light... ungh! he rolled over, his hands searching for the pillow he knew should have been there, where is it? Yeah that's birds... where am I? he bolted upright, his jade green eyes blinking into the sunshine, filling with glare from the drying waves of yellow wheat swaying around him. Who am I? he could feel his face frowning as he scratched his head, looked around and finally down at himself. I'm a boy... he acknowledged pushing himself to his feet, his hands sliding into and out of every pocket he could find, his jacket, his shirt, and all five of his jeans pockets. Nothing.

"Hello?!" he called, Okay, "Hello! Is anybody there?" Shhhh! something inside him hissed. He crouched low in the wheat his hand clamped over his mouth, his eyes saucer wide. His heart thudded in his ears, But how'm I supposed to get help if I don't ask for it? His mouth bowed down in a deep frown while his face crumpled. His chin began to quiver and he gasped a deep breath as he came to realize he was going to cry. Okay don't panic... don't panic... DON'T PANIC? Who AM I? WHERE am I? "Won't anybody HELP ME! PLEASE!" he screamed though his hand was still clamped over his mouth. "I'm scared..." he muttered.

Hot saltiness poured down his throat, or up it, he couldn't tell, but it was followed by a warm sting and prickle at the corners of his eyes as they filmed over and tears started to gather. His chest filled shakily, he craned his head up, trying to look over the tops of the stalks of wheat surrounding him, but as the tears overflowed the world around him turned to a sea of gold with a clear blue cloudless sky above and the sound of crows in the air.

A farm? he wondered pushing the tears off his face. He bent his knees and jumped, his head turning quickly left and right, trying to get some bearings. After all, if he was on a farm, there would be people around, somewhere.

He turned by degrees, jumping high enough to see over the tops of the waving grasses and finally, in the distance, with the sun behind him, a gray upright glance of sunlight in the distance spoke of a place where he'd find what he was looking for.

Something tiny, dark and shivering in the back of his mind said, 'stop, strangers...' but a brighter, warmer voice shined wide open, in fact he could almost see the owner of the other voice, something happy, bouncing and clapping as it grinned, PEOPLE!!

The tiny, dark shivering voice disappeared as he took off in the direction of the distant silo, toward the promise of someone who might know who he was, but most importantly, the promise of SOMEONE.

A few steps later he stopped, frowning once again and scratched his head, slowly returning to the area in which he'd awoken. I'm missing something... he patted himself down again, and upon finding the imprint of his own form on the ground, got to his hands and knees to scour the area for whatever it was that kept tickling the back of his brain.

"Justin!... JUSTIN DAVID MARSHALL! Where'd ya go boy?! Come on out now... It's alright son!" rang a thin sounding voice as it wound through the wheat.

He poked his head up, his quest for whatever was missing taking a backseat for the moment, Is that me? Am I Justin? IT's gotta be! "Hello?" he called tentatively, moving with slow hesitant steps at first toward the voice that beckoned.

"Justin? I hear ya boy... come on out now, it's gonna be just fine..."

He followed the voice, led by hope, led by the desire for identity until he stood before a tall wiry man with a sweat and dirt streaked t-shirt and face, beneath his hard worn ball cap.

"Justin!" he grinned dropping to his knees with his arms open toward the boy.

Warmth, comfort, and protection came rolling off the man before him, calling him forward, drawing him in like a magnet. He closed his arms around the man's neck and laid his head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of sweat, oil, and earth, and it felt like home.

"T'sokay son, it's all gonna be okay I promise ya," he soothed with trembling breath while stroking the boy's back and damp hair.

"Are you my dad?" the boy asked a moment later then noticed the man's arms squeeze him just a little tighter. He felt the man's head nod and his chest quiver as he stood up, placing the boy on his shoulders.

"Yes siree bub... I'm your pa...sure as you're my Justin...guess it's time to remind you again huh?" he bounced the boy on his shoulders.

"Uh huh... remind me what?" he asked taking the hat from his pa's head and drawing it down onto his own, feeling his fears fading back into the field, gone the way of whatever it was he thought he'd been missing.

--

"Did you find him Ray?" a frazzled woman with dark hair and soft curves dashed toward the kitchen door, stopping just a few feet away from her man and their boy. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes started to water, "Oh Justin sweetheart! Oh my boy!" she cried reaching for him, her smile to both the boy and her husband warm, grateful and full of love.

Ray ducked down a bit, letting his wife draw their son off his shoulders, "Now don't go getting too mushy on him Missy... he's forgot again, we don't want to smother him before he feels comfortable with it..." he grinned ruffing the boys' hair through the hat still on his head.

Missy nodded her head, holding the boy tightly to herself, tears wetting them both while he suffered himself to be held, cuddled and coddled. He could feel answers forthcoming, and part of him knew everything was going to be just fine. These were good people, these were his people, his parents. Family... I have a family... is it just me though? he wondered then wondered why that felt wrong.

"Do I have any brothers or sisters?" he asked then felt a tingle in the pit of his belly as Missy Marshall squeezed him just a little more tightly before quieting a sob.

"No sweetheart... you're our one and only..." she gushed.

"And we've never been so happy in our lives, and so grateful!" Ray added.

He pulled his head back, then sat on the counter where Missy placed him, "Why'd I forget?" he asked.

Ray and Missy shared a look that told him the subject made them sad.

"See Justin, we really don't know..." Ray started, "Thank's sweetheart," he smiled upon taking the glass of lemonade she handed him.

The boy also took his glass and gulped it down before gasping out a grateful, "Thanks,"

"They told us it might've been the accident, or that maybe you had an injury that wasn't on the outside, so we couldn't know... at least not until later, they just knew that there were going to be times when your memory would kinda skip, like a record and you'd have to be reminded of what's what," he started to explain.

"Why don't you know?" he frowned looking from one to the other, "Isn't moms and dads supposed to know?" he asked.

"Sure sweetheart, but see whatever it was that happened was before you came to us, in fact we're pretty sure it's WHY you found us, but there really isn't any way we could be sure, there weren't any records we could check, there was... nothing..." Missy smiled softly, her hand at his back, warm and gentle.

"You mean I'm not yours?" he asked confused as he jumped down from the counter, feeling the return of that 'something's missing' nipping in the back of his brain, "I gotta... I think I left something... I lost something..." he muttered looking between them, "Will you help me? Will you help me find it?" he asked.

"Of course we will sweetheart," she placed her hand on his shoulder. He smiled up into her face, then looked with the same earnest plea on his face to the man who called himself his 'Pa'.

"You betcha... but you listen here first... I don't ever want you thinking you're not ours Justin! We love you! We WANT you, and we prayed to God for a boy we could raise as our very own... and God saw fit to put you into our hands... we've been blessed, and we hope you'll feel the same way," Ray Marshall gazed openly into the milky green eyes that shone so brightly before him.

"Yessir," he nodded not quite remembering what had been so important only a moment ago.

Missy turned from the kitchen cabinet and shook a tablet from a prescription bottle into the palm of her hand, "Here you go sweetie, you take two of these every day, one at breakfast and one at suppertime, they're supposed to help you keep things straight in your head so that hopefully eventually, you won't have that little, 'skip' anymore," she explained.

He took the tablet between his fingers looking from Ray to Missy, wondering fleetingly if this was right. Neither adult gave him a funny feeling though, and with his belly quiet he decided it must be as she said, so popped the tablet onto the back of his tongue washing it down with the last mouthful of lemonade in his cup.

"Now... you wanna go help me drive the combine while we get you familiar with everything again?" Ray asked.

"What's a combine?" he asked, though he was less interested in what exactly the machine itself was, than he was with the idea of driving.

Ray laughed, "A combine is a really really really BIG kind of tractor..." he rose up, placing their glasses into the sink, then kissed his wife's cheek, "C'mon... I'll show you..."

He walked beside Ray Marshall, wondering how much driving of this tractor he'd actually be allowed to do, the sense that he'd lost something was gone, just as any knowledge of the name Dean Winchester lay also, far out of reach.

--

tbc.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

sifi