Small Little Spark in the Heart
Today was the Knight's eldest child 9th death anniversary and 23th birthday. Worst of all, Katie caught me speaking to a picture of our other sibling in my room, and I just recently finished telling her the incident, explaining why the child wasn't here with us.
I honestly never thought that this particular time when Katie would come to know the truth about our father and eldest sibling would come so soon, and yet here I am, holding her until she stopped squirming and crying. She was broken like a toy, getting thrown at the wall several times before finally crashing and landing.
Kathryn "Katie" Sophia Knight was precious. She was everything I could ever want. She's sweet, compassionate, caring, and knows when to slap some sense into me. This time, however, I had to be the one to help her face reality. I know it was going to be difficult, but I had to stay strong.
"Whatever happened in the past stays in the past," I whispered into her left ear quietly as I placed a loose strand of her dark brown hair away from her face. We were both sitting on my bed, my arms cradling around her fragile body. With one free hand, I stroked her back but that only seemed to make things worse. She screamed her heart out in agonizing pain, making me fall into pieces. Never in my life had I seen Katie act like this.
"Dad's an ass!" erupted Katie, laughing hysterically. She sobbed into my chest, not caring if she got wet tears staining on my striped polo. "I can't believe he would do that!"
"You have to understand, though. There was a fire, and—"
"Lou Gehrig's Disease!" Katie cried out. "She had that, and Dad dared himself to smoke that stupid cigarette, which he disposed into a trash can filled with wrinkled paper, the night before her 14th birthday that caused that stupid fire! It was all his fault!"
I winced, remembering those times when I came home from school to find my father drunk and smoking. It was an unpleasant sight, and people pitied my family and me. There was also this certain time when Katie, Krissel, and I were about to be taken away by force, due to neighbor's claims of child abuse.
Krissel. Oh, how much I missed her! She was older than me by five years, and she was diagnosed with that disease when she was about twelve. Ever since then, her life went downhill. She cried every single night for her to get cured, but she knew that it was never going to happen.
Like my baby sister, Krissel Daniel Knight resembled her. As a fourteen-year-old, she had pale skin, piercing green eyes, and long brown hair. In fact, I sometimes have to blink twice and convince myself that she's dead whenever I see Katie.
Katie calmed down a bit. She glanced up at me, her eyes big and round. "Why didn't you tell me this before? Why didn't you tell me that I have a sister?" she questioned, blinking rapidly.
"I was waiting until you were older," I explained calmly. I then felt like punching myself in the guts because that was the most unreasonable excuse ever.
"I'm fourteen, Kendall. Am I not old enough? Why? When were planning to say something to my face?"
"Katie, I—"
"Unbelievable!" She groaned, throwing her hands up in the air. She got off of my lap and hopped onto the floor. She adjusted and smoothed the creases of her shirt before pointing straight at me. "I can't believe I look up to you! Frankly, you're much more terrible than Dad! And if it wasn't for me overhearing you talking to a picture of Krissel, then I still wouldn't know a freakin' thing about this!"
I stood up quickly and firmly. This had gone too far. I should have handled this more carefully. "Listen to me. I don't like what happened as much as you do. You were only two years old that time, so you don't remember much. Although, this doesn't give you the right authority to yell and talk to me. Do you hear me, Kathryn?"
Katie stared at me blankly, examining my expression. I thought she was going to stomp on my foot minutes later and then storm out of my room, but she didn't. Instead, she cried and collapsed. Fortunately, I caught her in my arms once again and sighed. Like I said, this was going to be challenging.
Swallowing hard, I took in a deep breath. "Katie, you know I love you. All I want to do is protect you, and I promise you that I'm never going to let you go, so please believe me that I only held this back because it was for the best."
"Tell me what happened to Dad," she snarled at me, pulling away. She sniffed and wiped the tears away from her face. Although she was trying to act tough and demanding, her weakness overpowered her.
"After our house got burnt, he fled out of the country, and we still don't know where he is. He could be dead, but—"
"Good for him," she muttered.
"Katie, he's a good man. Trust me. He just couldn't handle all the pressure. I mean, Mom was at work all day as he stayed home, trying to take care of three kids. Let alone, one was paralyzed," I said sternly. Although I forced myself plenty of times to hate him completely, I just couldn't. He was still my father.
"Do you remember anything about Krissel?" she asked me, changing the topic. For what it looked like, she seemed most concerned about her older sister rather than her only father.
"She was lovely," I admitted, smiling. "She mainly took care of us. She practically sacrificed her free time just to be with us... She reminds me so much of you."
"In a good or bad way?"
I grinned. "Good. Very good... She was so much like you, Katie. She was openhearted, gentle, down-to-earth, and still pretty devious."
Katie giggled as she playfully popped up her shirt's collar, trying to act cool. "We would have gotten along quite well then."
I nodded, completely agreeing with her.
"Oh, God. If she was still alive and capable of movement, we girls would have easily beat you guys during that prank war," she snorted, snickering. I laughed.
"Just please promise one thing," I spoke up softly as I pulled my baby sister closer to me. I then ruffled her hair, messing it up on purpose as to annoy her and try to brighten up the mood. "Don't ever grow up."
Katie stared back up at me with puzzled and worried eyes, probably wondering what I was talking about. "Why?"
"Right before the incident, I came up to her that last morning and told her how much I loved her. I remembered her struggling to smile, which made me want to frown but I couldn't for the sake of her happiness. She then told me how she wanted to go back in time and changed everything all about her, claiming that she grew up too fast. She wanted freedom, but all she really needed was love. Before she was diagnosed, she thought she didn't get enough of love, so she started to rebel and seek adventure. Afterward, she regretted it and wished that she didn't take that certain path. Then she made me promise that I won't make that same mistake... So, Katie, please don't grow up."
Katie pursed her lips together. The lips soon curved into a small, understanding smile. "Is that why you're not as mature than those teenagers who are about your age?"
I chuckled, pulling her into a welcoming hug. "Exactly... I'm doing this for our sister."
Katie nodded once. "I promise, Kendall. For Krissel."
