"I'm sorry."
"What? What're you sorry about?"
"You weren't supposed to be here. You took my shift."
With one last backward glance at the semi trailer where he and Adam had still been hostages mere minutes before, Dany grimaced at the truth in Lindsay's words. 'It could have been her,' he realized, nausea and anger roiling his stomach at the mere idea of it. If he'd let her go in for her early shift this morning instead of taking her place, she would have been here with those thugs instead of him. And though he knew that his hand was in bad shape and he hardly wanted to think about whether or not several of his ribs were broken from the kick he'd taken, he couldn't help feeling grateful it had played out this way. The thought of anyone laying an unkind hand on her made his blood simmer. Things could have been so much worse. What they might have done to Lindsay…
"Hey, cowboy," Lindsay spoke softly from her place right at his side. Her sweet, beautiful face swam back into focus before him as he sat on the bumper of Flack's patrol car – the first available place outside the chaos that they'd come to. "You're still with me, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he grunted, attempting to sitter up straighter, but failing and slumping back, wincing at the pain in his side.
"Take it easy, Messer," she cautioned, carefully sidling even closer to him. She didn't want to accidentally cause more pain to any of his injuries, but she desperately wanted to touch him – more than she ever had before. Just to make sure that he was still there, safe and alive. "I think you've played touch guy enough for one day, why don't you lean on me for a second – just 'til EMS checks you out?"
She tried to make it sound kidding and lighthearted, but she needed to feel like she was helping him and hated that he seemed to think he had to keep being so strong even now. It was all she could do to keep the guilt from completely overwhelming her; in her mind, it was almost like he'd taken all this pain for her. Several seconds passed, and she thought he wasn't going to move, wouldn't allow himself a little bit of weakness, but then with a breath that was almost a sigh, Lindsay felt his head and shoulder come to rest against her as he leaned into her side. Of their own accord, her fingers mussed into his hair and she looked down at his body trembling slightly; a reaction no doubt to the beating and shock, though he didn't say a word. Lindsay found herself whispering a prayer that he would be okay, and when the EMTs came and loaded him into the ambulance, she didn't let go of his hand, making it very clear that she was going with him. By this point, Danny's eyes were closed and he'd given into the pain, but Lindsay felt that somehow he would still know if she wasn't there and so she couldn't allow herself to be left behind.
This morning he'd gone in her place, and now she wouldn't leave his side.
That afternoon, after enduring several tests, having all the fingers on his left hand set and splinted, x-rays taken of his ribs, and receiving warnings and instructions on caring for the three that were fractured, Danny had finally been released from the hospital. Mac had ordered him to take a week off, but upon seeing the argumentative look starting to cross his face, Flack and Stella had managed to bring their boss down to three days and then he'd conceded that Danny could come in for desk work.
Everyone seemed so worried over him and glad to see he was alright that it was almost embarrassing. When they'd all at last been assured that he was fine and going nowhere but straight home to rest, they had allowed Lindsay to slip away and take him home.
The two of them made it back through the door of his apartment at about the same time as they had the night before. Ruefully, Danny was disappointed to admit to himself that they weren't going to get to enjoy a repeat encounter tonight, like he'd planed to when he slipped out that morning. Not considering that he was leaning on Lindsay for support as he walked and that that walk was really more of a shuffle.
He eased himself onto the couch as Lindsay looked on anxiously. He winced when he leaned back and felt it in his ribs, and she jerked forward at the sound, as if wanting to fuss over him and try to make it all better, but stopping herself at the last second, knowing he didn't want to be babied.
Glancing up at her with a trademark grin, Danny tried to put her at ease. "Whatsa matter, Montana? Don't look at me like that. I'll be fine. Nothing a little rest and and coupla days off won't cure."
She attempted a smile back at him, but it was a weak one at best, and it didn't reach her eyes to set them sparkling in that way he'd come to love. "Can I get you anything?" she asked, trying to distract him from her obvious distress.
"No, I'm fine," he answered emphatically, hoping to set her at ease. Wanting nothing more than for her to sit down beside him so he could hold her and assure the both of them that they were okay. It wouldn't be too bad if the pain in his ribs and the splintering headache he was building would go away too. He'd had several other interesting places in his apartment where he'd wanted to make love to her besides the pool table. He was nothing if not creative, and now that they had finally broken down the last walls between them, he knew that he never wanted to stop being close to her and having her as his in every way possible.
With a sigh, Lindsay looked at Danny for a long moment before she sunk to her knees beside the couch. It made her heart leap up into her throat to see clearly all the bruises that were coloring his face and the altered way he held himself and even breathed due to the fractured ribs, and then imagine what had happened to him to cause that damage. But all she said was, "Come on, let's get you situated. I promised Mac I'd get you in bed as soon as we got home."
Danny chuckled at her choice of words, "I think you already did that last night, Monroe," he teased, his grin irresistible even through the cuts and gashes marring it more than usual.
"Very funny," she shot back. "In bed sleeping."
She carefully placed the pillow he'd been given at the hospital to brace his ribs and helped him ease over until he was lying on his side, making sure he had pillows to rest his head on as well. Then, ever so cautiously, she took his splinted hand and stretched it out to cradle it lightly in hers – her touch feather-light, almost non-existent. "Wouldn't want you to roll over on it in your sleep," she explained, finally managing a tiny smile.
He smiled back as she bent her head over his hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his thumb, the only part that wasn't completely covered in bandages. His other hand came to rest on top of her bowed head, then stroked gently through her light brown curls.
At his touch, her shoulders began to shake, and he could tell that she was crying. He could feel the wetness of her tears on his skin. "Lindsay…please…look at me. It's okay," he whispered, stroking her hair again and then tilting her face up to meet his with a finger under her chin.
Sniffling, she tried to get the tears stopped, to get control. But it was hard. "Danny, I…it's just…I almost lost you today. And I don't…know what…I'd do if…I waited so long…made you wait so long…and then you were there…instead of me…just when I really let you in…and it would've been…all my fault if you'd…" she couldn't bring herself to say that he could have died, and she was barely getting the rest of her words out between hiccups and sniffles, but she needed to tell him what was going on inside her.
He shushed her though when she paused, putting a finger to her lips. He knew
what she was trying to say. He understood without her having to get it all into words.
"Montana, hey, take it easy," he whispered soothingly, cradling the side of her face in his good hand and pulling her face so close to his that their noses almost touched. "This wasn't your fault. Things went down the way they did today for a reason. I'm still here. I'll heal. And things between us are just the way they're supposed to be. It was worth the wait."
Those last words seemed to finally break through her guilt and she beamed at him – her smile nearly luminous to him when it broke across her face. "You weren't so bad yourself," she quipped, catching him off guard with her teasing.
"I should hope not," he retorted. "Though I did have more planned for us tonight."
She nodded her agreement with a smile, and took his hand again, wishing she could cuddle up against him, like she had the night before. She wanted to hold him close. Now, she realized, after almost horrifically losing someone else close to her, that her heart had finally found its way back open. She had carried the death of her childhood friends for years, keeping others at arms length because of it. But today had shown her that while she'd made herself vulnerable to her world shattering again, she could also feel the ability to love returning to her.
"Get some rest, Messer," she murmured, lightly pecking his brow with her lips and then laying her head down on her folded arms beside him.
His hand delved into her hair once more, loving that he was finally free to touch her, to kiss her, to love her, and, given the chance again, certainly to protect her.
As they both drifted off to sleep, Danny Messer's last waking thought was that he would do anything to keep her safe and here beside him. He didn't regret for one second having been there in her place.
