Prelude

"How could we forget the cake? You know how much Dunky loves cake," muttered Piona as she hung up streamers for Dunky's birthday party.

"I know, I know. I'm just worried," Shronk said

"About what?"

"What if you get lost or hurt! That bakery is in a bad neighborhood. Plus, it's a two day drive."

"Shronk, don't you trust me? Besides Gringer Breb Mon knows his way around the area. We'll be just fine," Fionumph reassured him.

She was rerunning this conversation in her head from the day before. Gringer was giving her directions as she drove Shrek's 2004 Vidalia Onion Hatch Back. Her mind began to drift…

"PIONA YOU CUNT! WHAT THE HELL? YOU MISS THE FUCKING TURN!" Gringer Breb Mon bitched in his tiny cookie voice.

"Oh Mon, I'm sorry. Can't you just reroute for me?"

"Sure, but it really grinds my filthy sticky fucking gumdrops when you don't pay attention," he grumbled

She was too busy day dreaming about that morning. Piona was packing while Shronk removed his Slug Skin Pajamas. Just as she bent over to secured the last latch on her suit case, she felt a big green surprise from behind. Shronk had penetrated Fionumph just once, as a goodbye gesture. He then pulled her in and whispered in his harmonic ogre voice, "stay safe my swamp princess".

Stay safe? Safe from what? Piona thought. Was there something she wasn't aware of? A wave of anxiety shot across her, quickly she returned to reality.

"Okay, so the gps is saying to take a right here," Gringer said.

"We should roll up the windows, I don't know about this neighborhood," Piona said nervously.

"Then we must be getting close," Gringer replied.

As they neared, Gringer started to recognize the neighbor hood of his youth. The Confectionary Slums. The doors of the ginger bread houses were crumbling. Roofs discolored by frosting shingles long melted away. The yards were bare, except for the naked lollypop sticks sticking out of the ground; these once thriving sucker gardens have dissolved away. They're idiots for building with water solvable substances anyways, she thought, almost feeling bad.

A few nervous minutes of driving later Gringer said, "Two more houses, it'll be on the right. It's the only building in this neighborhood not made from fucking ginger bread."

Piona pulled to a stop, feeling safer now that saw a building with an integral infrastructure. "Now I just want to give you a heads up Piona, there's a reason they call him the muffin man."

"Well, we are on Drury Lane. That seems to be the well excepted explanation. Right?" Piona said curiously.

"Well, yes and no. You see he makes great muffins. With pot. He's just a bit you know, baked?"

"I thought we were just getting a birthday cake, Dunky said he wanted almonds, a weird choice. I've never had them considering that I lived in isolation for a decade."

"Yes bitch I know. I don't need to hear your story every time a new food pops up. I didn't ask for a drug cake, okay?"

They stepped out of the car in stood in front of Small wooden cottage with a sign over head that read "The Muffin Man's Confections and Illegal Substances". When they reached the front door, Gringer Knock six inches from the bottom of the door, because he is a cookie. Moments later the door creaked open. A wave of sweet warm smells rushed to Piona's nose causing her to salivate.

In the door way stood a tall, lanky man. He had shaggy red hair and a pallid complexion. He gave Piona a quick glance, then smiled upon looking down. "Heh heh hey my Gringer Mon! What's up? I haven't seen you in years! What brings you here little cookie dude?"

"I had a note sent to you, we're here to pick up a birthday cake for a friend. You did get that message right?" Gringer said sweetly, as if speaking to family.

"Oh yeah! With the almonds on top, I have it just inside."

Piona and Gringer followed him into the cozy cottage. It was softly lit, decorated with various band posters and interesting glass ware for smoking. The Muffin Man led them past the living room down a hallway. The smell was definitely getting stronger. He flipped a switch and the kitchen was revealed. Despite the humbleness of the rest of the house, this kitchen was as state of the art things could get. Stainless steel appliances, smooth clean white floors, and beautiful marble counters. On the center of the island was a white box.

"Here's the cake," the baked baker said. He lifted Gringer up on the counter to show him the cake.

"I really owe you one," Gringer said.

He opened the box revealing a white colored circular cake. It read "Happy Birthday Dunky" and was decorated in a floral pattern with almonds.

"Thank you so much," Piona said sweetly.

"No problem lady dude, any friend of Gringer is a friend of mine, do you guys need anything else?"

"Do you have anymore almonds? I've never had one. I'm just curious," she said shyly.

"Yeah man, one sec." The Muffin Man walked to a closet across the the room, quickly returning with a small handful of the tear dropped shaped tree nut. He stretched out his hand and Piona reached for one. She popped it into her mouth, and began to chew. The soft crunch and rich nutty flavor was pleasant to her.

"Delicious!" exclaimed Piona as she took the rest of his handful.

"Not to be pushy, Piona, but we better getting going if we want to return in time," squeaked Gringer. "Thank you so much man, I'll make it up to you."

"Don't worry about it tiny friend," The Muffin Man said smiling.

Piona grab the cake and Gringer and they walk to they door. After exchanging goodbyes, Piona got in the drivers seat of the Onion car. The cake box was strapped in the passenger seat with Gringer sitting on top.

She had begun the drive home. It was getting dark. Gringer had already fallen asleep before they even drove off. In this dark silence Piona all of a sudden felt alone. She was feeling a new sensation, a tingling all over. It grew into an itch, burning and unbearable. Piona started scratching all over.

It was the almonds.

When she brought her hand down, they were swollen and no longer green, they were spotted with some kind of red. She went to gasp, but her throat felt tight and her tongue felt swollen. She panicked, trying hard to make a noise to wake up Gringer Breb Mon. She was losing control of the wheel. Her eyes were swelling shut. She could see the road, she couldn't see anything.

"PIONA! YOU'RE FACE! YOU'RE HIDEOUS!"

That was the last thing she heard.