Title: Scars

Pairings: SpencerToby, AriaEzra, HannaLucas, EmilyMaya.

Summary: "People like me aren't supposed to fall in love with people like you."

Genre: Romance, Angst


::

You don't hate many people. But you really, really hate A.

You have to protect Toby because you love him… but they only way to do that is to make him think he means nothing to you.

So you tell Emily to start a rumor.

She looks at you with those sadsadsad eyes, but nods and does it for you anyway.

::

It hurts.

It hurts more than anything you've ever felt before.

More than your parents not believing Ian tried to kill you.

More than watching Hanna get hit by a car and lie motionless on the ground.

You feel someone's arms wrap around you and you finally let the tears fall as you hug Emily with everything you have. Aria is the next to hug you as she whispers comforting words in your ear. Hanna gives your shoulder a squeeze and tangles her fingers in your hair. You give her a thankful look because you know she isn't good at the whole comfort thing.

Toby's truck still sits in your driveway; his note lying on the seat.

::

You're trying so hard to pretend you're okay.

And you were doing pretty well.

Until Jenna walks in on your Toby's arm.

Your fingers clench and you bite your lip until you taste blood.

You turn and walk away.

He isn't yours anymore.

::

"Are you okay?"

You turn around to find Hanna standing behind you in the empty hallway. It's after school, but you can't bring yourself to go home yet.

You start to lie, but she raises an eyebrow and you pause. Then, you shake your head, "I miss him."

Hanna nods in understanding and links her fingers with yours, "Think about this. Would you rather have him alive and with Jenna? Or have him dead, but with you?"

You freeze as the images start to pour into your mind. Hanna always did have a way with words. The blond sighs and squeezes your hand before leaving you alone in the hallway with your thoughts.

::

The only thing stopping you from spiraling into depression is your three best friends. You have to be strong for them. Maya is missing and Emily is falling apart. Aria and Ezra can't seem to catch a break and Hanna's theories are eating her alive without Lucas to keep her grounded. You can't afford to crumble yet.

Emily's sadsadsad eyes.

Aria's hauntedbroken stare.

Hanna's glassyfearful gaze.

And then there's you.

And your *fake smile and clever lies*.

::

You last two weeks before you go visit him.

He's doing construction work at his house when you pull into his driveway. His face sets into a frown and you get out of your car hesitantly.

"What do you want, Spencer?"

You.

"I just, wanted to make sure you were okay…" You stutter out, watching as his eyes harden.

He scowls, "Like you care."

You cringe, you deserved that.

"I don't know if you can ever forgive me. But you don't have to be that person that never lets anyone in. You have people that care about you. Me included even if you don't believe me. I haven't done the best job of showing it. There are things that I can't tell you. But I have to protect you. And this is how I have to do it. People like you aren't supposed to fall in love with people like me. Goodbye, Toby."

You're in your car and driving away before he can respond. You drive until you're at Aria's house, sitting on her porch. You sit there for what feels like hours. The door opens behind you and you feel someone settle next to you on the steps.

Aria wraps an arm around your shoulders and you lean into her subconsciously.

"You don't always have to be the strong one, Spence." She whispers, and you crumble into her arms and sob out how much you miss him and how you hate A and how you wish things could just go back to normal.

She hugs you and doesn't say anything. You're grateful. Because it isn't going to be okay, and things will not turn out fine.

Everything is going to hell and you're stuck in the middle.

::

Mona is A.

She's standing in front of you in the lair wearing all black and a horrifying expression. But you can't seem to wrap your head around it. It's been Mona since the very beginning…

You see black as her hand comes in contact with your face.

::

You wake up in the car while Mona drives away from the motel. You don't know where you're going. She starts talking about joining the A team and you play along, while you answer Aria's video call and point it at Mona.

You feel sorry for Hanna. Her best friend turned out to be a deranged psychopath. But right now, you have to get out of here alive. You pull the emergency brakes and the car spins out of control. You're out and running before it even stops completely.

Mona chases after you and tried to force you off the cliff. Aria, Hanna, and Emily drive up and are screaming after you as they run towards you. You fight and Mona flails before plummeting to the bottom of the cliff. You're pulled into Aria and Hanna's arms and you know you're in shock. You feel numb.

::

Ten minutes later, you're sitting in an ambulance with a blanket wrapped around you and Emily sitting next to you. Hanna starts sobbing in Dr. Sullivan's arms and you can't help it. You reach for your best friends and they crowd around you protectively as you all cry together under the dark sky.

::

An hour later you all walk out of the police station and a familiar truck is sitting in the road with an even more familiar boy standing next to it. You walk over to Toby, who looks sheepish with his hands in his pockets.

"Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done."

You raise your hand, but he catches it and pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours.

You smile into the kiss and whisper that you love him too.

You finally got your happy ending.

::

You and your best friends decide to sleep over at Emily's house.

None of you want to be alone tonight.

Then, you hear the sirens.

And see the police cars.

And the ambulances and the crowds of people around the Fields' residence.

Your blood runs cold in your veins.

Emily starts running and you follow, because you're her best friend. You know Hanna and Aria are somewhere behind you, but right now, all you care about is Emily.

Mrs. Fields is standing outside with tearstained cheeks and you freeze as she tells you that they found a body.

"They think it's Maya." She whispers and Emily would have crumbled if it wasn't for your arms around her waist, holding her up. A man rolls a body bag out of the house and Emily breaks into heart wrenching sobs. She clutches at you and you can only hold her tight as she falls apart. Tears spring to your own eyes and fall down your cheeks. Hanna and Aria squeeze each other and stare at the ambulance in shock where Maya's body is being placed.

You're furious that A would go after Emily's lover. She didn't do anything wrong. She wasn't even a part of it. She got dragged into it. And Emily didn't deserve the pain of losing one of the only people she cared about.

You hold Emily closer to you and watch your tears fall onto her head as she sobs.

And you realize it's never going to be over.

You are never going to get your happy endings. None of you.

Stupid A.

::

You wake up the next day with Emily curled into your side and your head buried in Aria's stomach. Hanna is on the other side of Aria with her legs thrown over your waist. You smile at the tangled mass of limbs on your bed. Obviously, Emily's house was a crime scene, and yours was closest.

Your phone is beeping on the nightstand and you extract your hand carefully from Hanna's and reach for it. Toby's name is flashing on the screen and you smile before untangling yourself from your friends and stepping out into the hallway.

"Hey," You whisper and you hear his panicked voice in your ear, "Spencer! I've been trying to get hold of you all morning! Emily's house is surrounded by police cars and no one is answering their phone! What is going on? Are you okay?"

You smile at his concern before remembering the circumstances that brought you here, "They found a body in Em's house. They think it's Maya."

Toby's sharp intake of breath tells you that he's shocked, "How is she?"

"Emily? She's not doing so good. We're all at my house. I'm the only one awake so far. We're all kind of in shock."

"And you?"

You sigh, "I'm…trying to be strong for them. Em can only go a couple minutes without crying and Hanna is still freaking out about Mona. The only good thing that happened is Aria and Ezra making up and finally telling everyone about their relationship. And I got you back."

"I love you, Spence. If you need anything, call me, okay?"

You nod even though you know he can't see you, "Okay. I love you too. Bye, Toby." The phone gives you a dial tone and you slip it into your pocket and lean your head against the wall.

You don't know when things got so screwed up.

::

It's been two weeks since they found Maya's body.

It's been two weeks since Emily started crying herself to sleep every night in your arms.

It's been two weeks since you got Toby back.

It's been two weeks since Hanna realized she was in love with Lucas.

It's been two weeks since Aria's parents finalized their divorce and Ezra had to pick up the pieces.

It's been a long two weeks.

::

Everyone is falling to pieces around you and you finally just crumble.

You wake up to Emily whimpering Maya's name in her sleep and clutching your hand in a death grip. You gently tug away and climb out of bed until you're down the stairs and outside your house with your phone already dialing.

"Spence? It's one in the morning, are you okay?"

You sob out your reply, "I need you. Toby, I just need you."

You can hear him moving around and sigh in relief as he tells you he's already on his way. He stays on the line whispering to you and you listen to his voice as you lean against the door in exhaustion.

His truck finally pulls into your driveway and you're running towards him before he gets the door open. You fling yourself into his arms and let your emotions go.

For once, you're allowed to break and you don't feel guilty about it.

He wraps his arms around you and runs his fingers through your hair protectively as you cling to him. His lips touch your forehead and you feel safe.

"I've got you, sweetie. I'm here and I'm not letting go."

::

Things finally start to get better.

Mona is gone and the text messages from A are gone too.

Emily is finally starting to forgive herself for dragging Maya into your secrets and you swear she smiled the other day.

Aria and Ezra are happy and no one is giving them a hard time for falling in love. Aria's parents finally accept their relationship, even if they don't understand it.

Hanna realized that she didn't make Mona go insane and told Lucas the entire story. He was waiting with open arms and comforting words.

And last, but not least, you and Toby don't have the eyes of the town watching you in suspicion. You can just be together and happy without anyone trying to kill you.

Maybe your nightmares will never go away completely, but you have people to hold you up when you fall.

And you would do the same for them.

::

You're sitting on Toby's lap with his arms wrapped around your waist protectively and his lips pressed against your head.

Aria is on one side of you with her hand interlocked in Ezra's. Her free hand is holding onto yours.

Emily's head is leaned against your shoulder as she laughs at Hanna's story.

Speaking of the blond, she's snuggled comfortably in Lucas' embrace with a glowing smile.

You're all okay.

You smile.

You love happy endings.

::